Caption competition

[Buster Hyman]

"...Archie? No, there's no Archie here...surname Bunker...no, there's no...smartarse!"

***

Would you like Fries with that?

[cattletruck]

Mum, Dad, when I said I wanted to join a boy band this is not what I had in mind.

[Hempy]

"Yes Sir, it was incredible. He's just turned back an entire battalion using nothing but a loudspeaker. I proclaim Operation Michael Winslow a complete success!"

[airborne_artist]

"Yes Mum, I have got clean boxers on."

"No, I'm not wearing a vest."

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Fortnums? Good. Look, we need fourteen of your Christmas Hampers delivering. 'F' Troop, Blues & Royals. Thank you.
What? No, I haven't a bloody clue where we are - some jungle somewhere. You still have Binky Fortescue-Smyth in your Wines Department? He'll know - Binky knows everything. Good Day!"

[NutLoose]

"yes... yes, I understand the order Sir, 200 rounds in our own time, engage enemy troops to the front, just, could you 'ave Bert bring us up the gun Sir"

[Davef68]

"But sir, the CCF doesn't normally do shirts v skins!"

[airborne_artist]

"Hello....Mother...yes it's Julian, yes I'm still enjoying my gap yah. You wouldn't believe where I am.....yah yah, I know. Can you ask Papa to send me a new shirt"

"It's pretty hot here Mother, but what's really amazing is that I'm sat next to Eddie Murphy."

[Buster Hyman]

Hang on mate...whaddya mean the Poms are sitting this one out?

[racedo]

Hey Shaft, you got any ideas where we are, just don't look like downtown Boston.

[racedo]

Last time I book Virgin Holiday all inclusive resort and wait until landing for room allocation.

[racedo]

No idea where we are but I have just taken a Readers Digest subscription, they will find us.

[racedo]

I don't know who you are but I have your telephone number.
I will find you and I will kill you.

(in the voice of Liam Neeson)

[racedo]

What you talking about Willis.................

[CoffmanStarter]

[racedo]

SAS undercover unit at Naturists annual convention indicate no evidence of concealed weapons on show.

[nutnurse]

[Good oh - quite a few coming in still - here's one in really bad taste although of course I'm not competing just encouraging and amusing this time round]

"No, sir, we don't grow Lebanese Gold here. We do have some really good Borneo Black, or if that's too expensive there is a two for one offer on Labuan Leftovers."

[NutLoose]

'ello is that Warrington Pizza Palace?, right, we'd like two large cheese and pepperami Pizza'a and 4 cans of cola please, now I see in your advert in my copy of the Warrington Gazette you deliver anywhere, Ok, have you got a pen and a piece of paper 'andy and i'll give yer directions"

[racedo]

Caption Competition signs up to Affirmative Action for minorities.

[racedo]

Hey Dave, did you send in last years tax return ....
Er No
Yippee. Thanks Dave, we are saved, Uncle Sam will find us because we missed the deadline