Uniform Standards
 

So, the latest diatribe from Al Costa Nostra claims we are "brand ambassadors", is this a different pay scale than that of pilot? While I think its a good idea to wear your hat and keep your shirt tucked in, it's hardly practical to saunter about in airports looking like Don Fanucci. I know I generally get through first and get to the aircraft ASAP and start setting up in case there are MEL'S or other issues. Waiting around for 26 cabin crew to get their act together...not so much.

So they want us to look like a prison chain gang because its supposed to "look good" somehow but then they give us sub standard quality shoes, wings, name badges and fake bags...you just can't make this stuff up!

Sounds like distant rants of TCAS.


PROPER METHOD OF ADDRESSING CREW (NOTE CORRECT PLACEMENT OF HAT):

https://gregfallisdotcom.files.wordp...on-fanucci.jpg


PROPER METHOD OF ACCEPTING SOCIAL GRACES FROM CREW:

http://i970.photobucket.com/albums/a...onFanucci2.jpg


CAPTAINS WILL BE EXPECTED TO LEVITATE OBJECTS WITH THE POWER OF THEIR MINDS:

http://www.naranjastorres.com/wp-con...o-537x3001.png

What does the OMA say?....oh that's right, it doesn't.

Captains Cord
 

Further to the latest directive regarding Ambassadors of the Brand, after careful study, a management team has released their directive to be implemented without delay. All captains are to collect their "Company Cord" from fleet on their next scheduled day off. This cord will be carried fully charged and up to date on all flights from here on in. Any time the crew is in transit, said cord will be used. It is marked at intervals of 97 centimetres. This represents the 9th floor from which this directive originated and the 7 Emirates. The captain will hold the leading end of the cord, in his left hand, the FO, on the first mark at 97 cm, with his fight hand, pursuer with left hand on next mark, and subsequent crew members, in descending rank of seniority. The cord will be held with a clenched fist, neither too tight nor too loose. Rings are not to be worn on clenched hand so as to not detract from the significance of the cord. This will ensure the crew walk in an appropriate spacing to portray to the public the brand ambassadors all crew are. Any deviations from this must be reported to SMNC immediately via the captain's mobile, (not in public view during said call). Offending crew members will be disciplined up to and including dismissal.

Love it hairpin:}:ok:

Another oxygen thief somewhere in the Titanic has wasted several days salary to come up with this nonsense!

I think think the captain proudly holding a company umbrella high, followed by his clutch of chickens, chicks and chicklets would be even more effective.

White Knight: Wrt 'oxygen thief' would that also be an 'oxymoron' ?!

In any event, in an endeavour not to be out done by the new uniform recently announced over at FZ, the Al Costa Nostra team have (and if you'll excuse the pun) decided to follow suit with a whole new look for EK pilots... it providing strong modern branding with sharp & practical look... here's an example of how EK pilots are now expected to comport themselves:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXsyC872-aQ

New SEP training for all crew members. Additional trading for captains and pursers to bring cabin crew and others to the aircraft.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2IUOPP3nuDM

Pun pardoned. Gonna use that one again:ok:

I think someone has this in mind, note the music.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Tzfi5iLwc

That's exactly what i like at airports:

Large families or large groups waiting for each other at neuralgic places and therefore blocking passage at baggage belts, after immigration and shortly after passing out the green channel.

Perfect to annoy all other passengers, perfect as ambassadors! We will look like a herd of silly Gnus.

Bravo to the useless Costa dwelling idiots:ugh:

My understanding is that this all came about from a ninth floor idiot......

What's the problem.

Read it, ignore it. Move on with your life.
What are they going to do. Station people in all the airports to confirm you are following this stupid email.

J.

I'm happy to leave brand promotion to those who really enjoy it like (former) Cpl. Maxwell Q.

Agree with JAYTO.

In any event, isn't this what we do anyway most of the time. Compared to many airlines, especially the US carriers, we're often far more cohesive as a team walking through those terminals rather than in dribs and drabs like many.

My bone of contention is immigration. If the Captain goes through first, there's little he can do to help his crew. At least going last you can herd the sheep into the pen and see which Arab with a French passport is going to be interrogated for an hour or more by JFK border control! And as Glo states, hanging around in a bunch of 25 for the GR2 to decide what Duty Free to buy ain't going to happen. :ugh:

Harry

We do this anyway.

Off the jet en masse and through Customs, etc and out to the bus.

Off the bus en masse and through Customs, etc. Meet at the gate at ETD -70 or whatever it is.

I'd just like to say I wish I'd thought of "Al Costa Nostra". :ok:

But please, don't tease us escapees - what exactly is this new uniform policy? I mean, I can read between the lines and infer it's something to do with having the crew move around as a group, but...why?

I hate it when a crew is getting off the bus, everyone in their own little bubble without an ounce of awareness or courtesy for the passengers struggling to go around/through them on the sidewalk. I know for us it's just going to work, but for the average public it hardly enhances the image of the self-absorbed pilot/flight attendant. Same thing when crew just cavalierly cut in front of the poor folk who've been waiting in line at security. Yes, we have a uniform and ID and need to get to work, but it doesn't cost anything to be slightly gracious about it, instead of looking like entitled snots.

And now they want to enshrine this in a rule? Sounds about right.

Harry it says lead .
Does not mean go first .
Like Haig I like to lead from the back . Way back .

Monarch Man

As a point of clarification, there are many rules and regulations which we're required to adhere to not mentioned in the OMA, such as accommodation, pay, schooling, staff travel, etc. These are in the employee regulation manual, along with uniform standards, and are official Company guidelines. Whether you choose to follow them is up to you of course!

The 'OMA rule' only applies if there is a conflict of information between manuals. Then the OMA has precedence.

thatwasclose

True! Problem is, there may be a few little hitlers now intent on following this new edict with a less than judicious approach.

Harry

Reminds me of this scene:

Harry, my point entirely. As ever this is just another made up rule contrived from the rarified atmosphere of where the person who came up with it doesn't have any real idea of the real world implementation.
The are lots of "should(s)" and less "shall(s)" so plenty of wiggle room to use that missing component to much of how EK legislate daily life, Common Sense.