Ideas for" Innovative ways of saving money "
 

Latest email from TCAS..... any good ideas ....

Yes, delete the email.

Here's one: treat the employees better so they don't leave. Save money on recruitment and training.

Now, where's my Najam?:E

I think in place of all these paper charts that we currently use, we could introduce an "Electronic" Flight Bag.

This "Electronic" Flight Bag is a new ground breaking, industry leading idea. You could use a tablet type interface that could fit into the flight deck by some sort of mounting device.

Since this is such leading edge technology that would require years of testing and would have to go through multiple layers of management and regulatory approval ($), I will volunteer to do my research on reduced roster hours (only 85hrs).

I guess there might be a new Windows version coming up in the next few years so maybe we could wait till then to really test it out.

I think that would be quite an innovation as well as frickin lasers to shoot back at people when they shoot their frickin lasers at us.

ideas
 

dont increase the target without telling the employees....

Idea number 1

Idea number 2

Idea number 3

All of the above involve treating your staff well and entering the 21st century, something that's foreign to the culture, mentality and ethos of the current top floor at EK.

Wow! Looking after your employees.

What a novel concept... to managers who have no interest in anything other that their own warped self-interests.

Most airlines, and many other businesses are like the Matrix. The people in power are hopelessly inured to the system, so totally dependant on it that they will defend it against any perceived threat. Us.

Employ monkeys..... after all they are 'trainable' and don't need paying ....

A win/win situation !!...... '"come on Captain Bubbles!"

Close the main Costa in the bouncy castle. More productivity from the cubicle dwellers. :ok:

No need to close Costa, just remove all the tables and chairs. Also from the smoking area outside.

Treat Office staff like Pilots
 

OSN 1-2015


Starting immediately in an effort to increase productivity and therefore reduce cost by allowing us to operate with fewer employees. We will henceforth stop trying to treat our pilots like office staff and begin treating our office staff like pilots.


1. There will be no more national holidays. (Increases productivity 10%)
2. 8 Days off a month. (Increases productivity by 3%)
3. 24 hour shifts. (I know this may be an inconvenience for some of you, but we are a 24 hour airline.)
4. You will now be required to work most weekends.
5. We are increasing the average work day to 10 hours. (Increases productivity by 20%)
7. We will install a day/night care for employees children so they can work extended hours. (Increases productivity by 10%)
8. WE will install Lazyboy chairs (Next to Daycare.) So when employees are working longer days they can rest. (Make sure to subtract time in Lazyboy from actual hours working)
9. We will wait till the last week of the month to tell employees what their next months working hours will be to maintain extreme flexibility in planning. Also 2-3 months a year you will not know what you are doing until 1830 the night before.
10. While at work we will come by your cubical with your food so you will not require a lunch hour. You will now be eating at your desk. You will have a choice between chicken, beef, or sometimes fish with white or red sauces. As the new schedules will be exhausting we will provide you with free caffeine. Coffee, cola or tea.
11. If you are sick you will be required to come into work anyhow. Unless your job affects safety, (e.g. Dispatcher) In that case you will be required to come into work in order to prove you are indeed too sick to do your job. You will wait up to 4 hours to be seen by a nurse and doctor so you may as well just come and work.
12 All training will be via instructional video and will be accompanied by a test. You will complete these on your day off.
13. If you take less than 10 days of vacation a month you will be expected to still put in a full months work. (Saves up to 17%)
14. You will be assigned vacation days at our convenience.
15. We will reduce vacation days given from 45 to 30.


These few simple changes will save the company millions a month. We appreciate your sacrifice and understanding during these difficult and challenging times.

One omission:

On occasion you will be required to remain in your office for 16 hours. Short breaks of 4 hours will be permitted, but during those breaks you may not sit in a chair nor at a table nor may you walk, but must crawl under your desk and lie motionless and prone for the entire period. There will be a toilet 40 meters away during your rest but to use it you must first join a queue of persons selected at random from a globally-diverse group of 400 plebs.

Haha! Excellent......but it will go right over the heads of non EK pilots.....they just dont understand.....

16. A bright floodlight will be installed directly over each desk in order to prevent fatigue. A loudspeaker playing audio from the latest Bollywood film will be available to provide additional protection against tiredness.

120feet

Excellent suggestions

However your productivity increases cannot be imagined by the office staff nor that some employees are already there ... 'going the extra mile(s)'.

Cheers, CK

Easy peasy.

Start a new ponzi scheme in EK.

Stop all management bonuses.

Failure to meet targets will result in salary deduction instead.

Aah, ya gotta love'm! Treat your staff like dirt, then try to engage them! That's good humour. Needed a good laugh.

When does TCAS leave the building? Trying to leave on a high note, it seems. A bit late.

RBS you summed it up perfectly. The rationale behind this mindset is the complete and utter lack of shame. They do not know the meaning of the word. We'll see a follow-up email thanking the 1000s of pilots who responded... maybe "50%" like with the parallel bidding sham.

How about office staff sign on Day 1 0700-1700,
Day 2 1700-0300,
Day 3 0300-1300..... repeat.

EK is still using paper charts ? I'm surprised.