You have been too long in Middle East....
 

You know you've been in the Middle East too long when...

1.You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
2.You think the uncut version of 'Little House on the Prairie' is provocative 3.You think every one's first name is Al
4.You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
5.You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
6.Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy /babysitter/maid/helper
7.You believe that speed limits are only advisory
8.You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
9.You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq
10.You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
11.You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
12.You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
13.You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
14.You make left turns from the far right lane
15.You send friends a map instead of your address
16.You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
17.You think that 'Howareyoufine' is one word. So is 'Mamsir'
You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
18.You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
19.You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
20.You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore
21.You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
22.You expect queues to be 1 person de ep and 40 people wide
23.You realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
24.Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts you
25.You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
26.You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
27.You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
28.Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles
29.Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia
30.Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes

Any more to add?

Brilliant, just brilliant and so true!:D

When the footprints on the toilet seat.....are your own.:}

- When you start to say "inshalah" for everybody who ask you for something to be done...

:ugh:

When you intentionaly start bumping into Indians and the likes in public places coz they invaded your private space.:}

Now back to working out those shoulders....:ok:

For Americans:
When you don't have to do a centigrade conversion to Fahrenheit.

When you are no longer bothered by "roundabouts"

When you talk on your "mobile" and not your cell phone.

When 85degrees F is a cooling trend

When you think the NY Times and CNN are a bit too conservative

When the Gulf News editorials are "spot on".

When you have no clue who is in the World Series, or care or more excited to watch Manchester Utd. play Arsenal than Dallas vs. Washington or Green Bay vs. Chicago.

Not knowing who is in the BCS

When "March Madness" means it will start heating up rather than what it means.

When you figure out what your Good Name is...

Can any one help me find the "Hash" key ?:}

When you use the phrase without thinking twice "what to do, yani?" when no solution comes to mind.

I think I have perfected the "Accidently-elbowed-the-guy-behind-me-in-the-face-at-the-ATM" yawning stretch.

The "Apologise-profusely-while-ROFLMAO-in-my-head" bit is coming along fine as well.

Was asked for proof of physical address the other day. The thought of taking a picture of the building, with me in front of it, did cross my mind.

....when "sex on the beach" is no longer a drink, but 90 days in jail:}

Pepsi is called Bepsi....and repeated twice when mentioned.

Funny thread, here are a couple I have experienced,

-When someone ask you a question, you start wobbling your head..

-When someone gives you a phone number, you get it on the first take.

-When the visibility drops below 10Km, you brief for an LVP and an autoland..

Later,

. . . when you've heard this joke several times before. :ok:

When you know that a classified advert in the newspaper that reads "Wanted - Driver cum houseboy" is not sexual in any way.:eek:

..
 

..everthing is " maafi koff ":ugh:

More
 

... when a buddy's Mom is due out on vacation and you wonder if she's available!

When that 20-stone female immigration cop is "curvy"!

When {CHUKRAN} is equal as thank you!!!:eek:

When you don't bat an eyelid when as you approach your destination, the taxi driver asks "if you want back side" :uhoh: