Flatulence
 

Bit embarrassing really, as a few people reading his will probably work out who it is posting it. On a trip to Greece, Turkey, Tenerife, three to four hours each way, around top of descent on the way back the back pressure is just too much and I have to let it out. Going to the toilet is pointless, I would have to spend the whole of the descent in there. Tried changing my diet, doesn't work. The very act of eating seems to precipitate large amounts of noxious fumes. Some guys and gals too polite to mention it, others sit with their face poised over the air vent for the duration. Tried asking a member of cabin crew to bring me a cup of tea just before an eruption so no-one would know who did it (God I miss three crew!) but I don't think I'm fooling anyone.
Is this a common phenomenon, and is there a cure?

Well you never take a **** in your own airplane, that's 7 years bad luck.

Eat slower, chew more, watch what food your eating or just take some charcoal tablets which you can get from a chemist.

If that doesn't work - a cork or gas mask for your FO. :yuk:

u might be allergic to a particular food or maybe the likes of bread gets u a bit bloated and hence the end result? i really don't know what to suggest to you diet wise, you have to figure that out for yourself. I know you said that you changed your diet and it didn't help, but I think diet is the key. Exercising should help as well.

Or may you have IBS? Have you thought of going to the doctor and having a chat? It might be embarrassing, but it won't be half as embarrassing as blowing off like a trooper on the flightdeck!

Charcoal tabs are magic.

Try taking Digestive Enzymes (tablet form) with your meals.
Yoghurt (and acidopholus tablets) should also assist.

If your stomach becomes upset after eating, try eating a slice of raw apple, or raw, peeled potato immediately after eating.

Open ALL the air vents in the cockpit when you first enter, but not so that they blow directly on you, or the other crew member.

Thanks folks. I will try charcoal tabs, I already drink lots of Actimel yoghurt which hasn't helped. Hopefully my fellow crew members will not have to suffer too much more! Strange thing is, on long haul trips or short sectors I do not have a problem, it seems to be on a return leg of 3 to 4 hours that things start brewing inside me.

Apparently if you eat fruit after eating anything else it sits ontop of the other food and starts fermenting which makes gas.

So apperently if you eat the fruit first then eat your other food it can get digested properly without being held up and fermenting.

MJ

Don't eat raw potato, at certain times it can be poisonous, causing (and I quote) "convulsions and death".

It is usually the green bits of a potato plant that are poisonous, but at times the raw tuber is too. The poison is called "solanum" or similar.

I was speaking to a BA pilot the other day and she said that since she had cut out bread and other wheat products there is no problems in the digestion departament.

Food for though :}

Jimmydacraw

Flatulence
 

Don't worry, CAT 1 It's quite natural. As cabin crew we can get around it quite easily, namely by "crop-dusting" which merely involves strutting through the economy cabins very briskly and relying on the engine noise and general steerage stink to cover up for you.
Of course, being confined to a small box can be a little trickier, so may I suggest that you keep those lovely crew sandwiches 'til the last minute and then blame it on the egg roll? You could always make out that you're on to your 4th wifey, hang up the tie, roll down the shirt; thus exposing loads of chest hair and liberally dose the F/D with copious amounts of Paco Raban???!!~!@
Good Luck!!
WC!

mad-jock came up with someting worth checking out: I always eat fruit after a meal. I will reverse the process. I tried charcoal tabs yeterday and also ate a lot later than normal on the return leg, which delayed the reaction until I got home. Thanks for all your suggestions. Roll on the Clean Air Act!

Recommend colonic hydrotherapy. Can releases a lot of trapped gas and compacted waste from years of too many steaks etc. It's not uncomfortable - just a little weird the first time - you may do your long-term health a power of good.

Check out Gillain McKeith's book You Are What You Eat.

As most pilots are already perfect arseholes, beware colonics, cleanses, etc.

http://www.quackwatch.org/01Quackery...cs/gastro.html



:8

I dunno if it will work for you, but I'd suggest trying Rennie "Deflatine" tablets - in my own experience, I've never had the problem on a flight, but after travelling and changing diets, they can quieten things down considerably while your gut adapts.

So has anything worked yet CAT1?

Maybe its a sign from the big man that your destined for a promotion to mangement pilot. And its just your body building up pressure.

MJ

I think I see the problem. On the quackwatch site, there's a response from a well-informed angry reader which says "Scientists have discovered 90% of the seratonin in the body is produced IN THE COLON WALL. AND they've realized we have a second brain, which is located in the wall of the intestine. "

There's the problem. Your second brain is misbehaving. Best to stun it into submission with the hottest curry you can find. ;)

See a licensed Naturopathic Doctor, they can help with diet, food allergies etc. That is most likely what is causing your problem. A lot of what they may recommend will be similar to what's above (informed group this is) but will be able to pinpoint your sensitivities more accurately.

flatulence
 

I sympathise with CAT1. For the first 15 years of my career, my problem was shielded by flying with two flight-deck colleagues who smoked. At the onset of my command course, I decided that a little decorum was needed and changed my diet, cutting out the 6 pints of Guinness and 2 scotch eggs. But, having achieved command, I quickly became a perfect a***ole and adopted a"devil-may care" attitude - my co-pilot would put up with my indiscetions in return for a sector. It was about this time that I discovered the delights of ethnic cuisine, in particular, chicken vindaloo with extra garlic dal, all washed down by 6 bottles of imported Indian beer (complete with glycerine).My social life deteriorated - I assumed it was the loneliness of command!
Well, after 30 years, I automatically became a member of the Old Farts club and have tried to live up to expectations. Recently, a word to the wise, from my AME, cuased me to embark on a life-style changing route and have now given up meat and alcohol and instead eat only vegetables,beans and pulses and drink only carbonated soft drinks. The results are not immediately apparent - strange that!
So CAT1, don't take your problem too seriously and remember the old maxim - never own up to anything because "he who denied it always supplied it". Life is for living so go on have a blast!
I remember overhearing a conversation between 2 trolley-dollies, one of whom was relating how she had been stopped by the police for speeding. It would appear the the young miss had consumed two crew meals during a long duty day and was hurrying home to the comfort and safety of her own bathroom. Along the way, she had several fluctuations of the over-pressurisation valve and it being winter, had the heater on full with the windows tightly shut. She duly wound down her window as the officer approached and he unexpectedly stuck his head in hoping to catch a whiff of duty free alcohol but instead received a lungfull of one of Natures more obnoxious odours. He promptly staggered back, covering his nose and mouth with his hand and let out a muffled yell - "you'd best be on your way Miss, and be quick about it".
Aren't our policemen wonderful??!!

whoever said the rhyme, did the crime......