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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

Old 4th Sep 2003, 18:47
  #1541 (permalink)  
Alba Gu Brath
 
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That only accounts for 1 1/4 years of it's life though chippy. If the average life expectancy for a cat is 10 years what will it be doing for the other 76,650 hours (apart from licking its @rse and gonads).

KWASI, I don't believe I have ever seen 2 candles indulging in sexual intercourse, much less after having been refridgerated. Pray tell were can one witness such a spectacle?
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Old 4th Sep 2003, 19:21
  #1542 (permalink)  
 
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One notices Girl's clever reference to "one for all and all for one", as a parting shot.

Love French cooking, French comedy ( which is going some way), had a total blast on the Cote d'Azur, en Paris, sur les montagnes of the Massif Central, have even driven Renault and Peugeot with immense joy, loved to correspond en francais while in school and wouldn't even think twice about returning to look for that mythical beast, the friendly Parisian.

However ( sudden hush descends . . . clicking as both hammers are cocked ) when the damsel insinuates we should adopt the very Philadelphian aspect of Louis' Praetorian guard I suitably blanch in horror.

Bunch of rabid Papists with a retreating disorder. . . . just wait til that artful minx shows up, all tanned and pert and buffed.. and.. well.. maybe she can get away with it this time...... but only if she posts a pic. . . . shades and hat to protect status incognito. . . . of course... ..


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Old 4th Sep 2003, 19:35
  #1543 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
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One tolerates necrophiliacs, froteurists,flagelents those with a preference for the cloven hoofed or wooly,transvestites,those who enjoy being punished by large leather clad ladies,chaps with a preference for other chaps, ditto ladies who swing the other way, all in all one is fairly tolerant,however, one draws the line at Francophilia.

Last edited by tony draper; 4th Sep 2003 at 19:51.
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Old 4th Sep 2003, 21:02
  #1544 (permalink)  
I'll mak siccar
 
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By George, Risky, you’ve got it! I think you’ve got it! How could I have been so blind? "Blanch", you say! Le mot juste.

A year or two ago I re-read the musketeer oeuvre, en français for my soul’s discipline, a reading more leisurely than usual. I gleaned more than usual.

On a quick romp, it’s about jack-the-lad and his pals, a bit rowdy maybe, but in charge. Read more carefully: That is far from accurate. It is the Great Feminist Tract, paean to the manipulation (in a moral though we may even fear a physical sense; Who can tell, with those French allumeuses? Mr Draper’s years of wisdom can advise here) of Man by Woman.

Every longueur in the plot is resolved by a mouchoir dropped by mistress or maid, craftily where d’Artagnan et al, numskulls and bawheids to a man, must find it, and will instantly interpret it, always correctly (rare success in their intellectual efforts), as an invitation to a dark alley, to which, believe it or not, he or they instantly go. There they are sandbagged by the Cardinal’s men. It was obvious, but they never learn. Little wonder we have those signs: “Pas de déchets”. France was mouchoir-littered.

There is a PhD waiting here, by the way. I offer the topic gratis.

Such is the script to which The Minx is working, and such her confidence in our gullibility that she gives us the clue. Tee-Hee, she is saying to Herself on that jet-plane; Those silly boys! She even encourages bickering under cover of warning against it.

This must all be manifest to the many female readers of this chronicle, but none has whispered a word of warning. Why is that, would you say? You have noticed the silence?

Despite my own notoriously obsessive Francophilia, I defer to others in these matters. Perhaps Kwasi_Mensa can give guidance. One might have expected it of the Moderatrix herself. Alas no.

I am just thinking of the others, you understand. All will recognise that I myself am impervious to Her wiles. Oh Yes. But what of young spork, for example, and that moon-calf topcat? Do we owe them no duty? I do not have the answer.
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Old 4th Sep 2003, 23:07
  #1545 (permalink)  
 
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Page 37, (continued): A good dominatrix will have a deep appreciation of human behaviour, and contrary to accepted belief, sincerely like men. A wide-ranging wardrobe and a stunning physical appearance are not the only standards to judge a professional domina by. Check her freezer for example, is it full of candles? Check her diary, does it have a map of the London Underground? You will naturally require all of these items, and possibly more, for the fulfilment of your most secret desires.
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Old 4th Sep 2003, 23:23
  #1546 (permalink)  
Mental Floss Prevents Moral Decay
 
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Ah Tudor, you're right, but ever watched a dripping candle wax on soft bare female skin? Some find that extremely attractive....

Alas Maitre Davaar, I thought you knew the answer?
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 00:50
  #1547 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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Hmm, Just had a Broussard trundle over. Rare sight, especially on a Thursday.
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 00:55
  #1548 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
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Hmmm a Broussard is a kind of stardrive init?.
Sort of a ramjet thingy.
Long time since I was at the Academy.
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 02:21
  #1549 (permalink)  

Prince of Darkness
 
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Once had dinner at Broussards and very nice it was too. However, after a brew or two too many and then falling down, I have been known to bruise hard.

Ozzy
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 03:02
  #1550 (permalink)  
 
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Biggest Jet Fighter Collection
The world's biggest private jet fighter collection numbers 110, and belongs to French winemaker Michel Pont, of Savigny-Les-Beaune. His hobby started in 1985, and includes Russian MiGs, British Jaguars and French Mirages. He buys them from governments although they cannot be flown over French airspace. Michel's 40-acre vineyard and 14th century castle not only holds his amazing jet-fighter and helicopter collection, it also houses 500 motorbikes of a range of brands, from Norton to Terrot, with models going back to 1902.

Rats – that’s not boring is it? Ah - here we are...

Farthest Spaghetti Nasal Ejection
Kevin Cole of Carlsbad, New Mexico, holds the record for the longest spaghetti strand blown out of a nostril in a single blow. On December 16, 1998, Kevin successfully achieved a record distance of 19 cm (7.5 in) on the set of “Guinness World Records: Primetime” in Los Angeles, California. Kevin first started practicing his nasal ejection with noodles and then progressed onto spaghetti. He has the ability to blow one end of the spaghetti out of one nostril, and the other end out of the other nostril for a "nasal floss" effect.

Forget the postcards - she’s thinking of me right now...
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 03:11
  #1551 (permalink)  

Prince of Darkness
 
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But can he put it on one nostril and have it come out his mouth spork? For that matter have it go in both nostrils and out his mouth

Ozzy
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 03:17
  #1552 (permalink)  
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To explain this phenomena in scientific terms I believe there is a little tunnel betwixt yer gob and yer hooter,thats how you sneeze tea when it goes the wrong way.
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 04:01
  #1553 (permalink)  
 
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I don't know him personally, so I can't easily ask. However, I was always taught NOT to play with my food...
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 05:55
  #1554 (permalink)  

Self Loathing Froggy
 
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Mr Draper, talking about Francophilia, do you known where your name comes from ?
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 06:13
  #1555 (permalink)  

Jack's Granddad
 
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Is this curtains for Drapes?
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 06:39
  #1556 (permalink)  
Scalextric for Men
 
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A methodical scribe called Drapes
Like us is descended from Apes;
who have no use for curtains,
when swinging and making japes.

They swing because the males mate more than one female.
So this human infidelity is all down to the primates, who haven't stereo systems and no Hi-fidelity.
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 06:50
  #1557 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
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A mighty gloom has decended
posting has slowed to a crawl
Singaporegirl has buggad off
could this be the cause of the stall?

Davvar has ceased his wordsmithing,
Binocs is gloomy and miffed,
Only draper has risen above it,
and shows that he still has the gift.

Spork he is spoiling for violence,
Davvar refuses to rise
Tempers are frayed on the forum.
the night is filled with their sighs

Who is the cause of this mischief
Who sowed all this halabaloo,
She lies on beach in the sunshine
Twas singaporegirl that is who.

Draper a resilient fellow
not swayed by the bat of a lash
continues to post as per normal
and continues his keyboard to bash..
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 12:10
  #1558 (permalink)  
 
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A hit Bre, a palpable hit. As has been oft-quoted.

One has long since foregone the inevitable riposte and rebuff, to so prevalent a backlash at one's personal pecadillos ( alliteration is excused I hope), for in the end tis all a mere circus.
One rides the swing, others the carousel.

Perchance there are secret petitions afoot, to declare the North of England a separatist political and industrial entity. Thence would come the uncensurable right to opine on national peculiarities at will.

On the other side of the foot, might be if one lived closer to them Frenchies one might takea different stance.


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Old 5th Sep 2003, 13:32
  #1559 (permalink)  
Cunning Artificer
 
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Devil

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Anglo - French border is marked by the River Tees. There is no channel tunnel but there is a very intersting structure - a bridge with no roadway - devised by our ancestors to transport criminals to Yorkshire, the northernmost province of France.

BTW draper's frog-gobbling ancestor was possibly a Belgian legionnaire. The 6th legion, originally raised in Belgium, was based at Terminus Vallum (nowadays known as Wallsend) in the first century. His family has thus been en Angleterre long enough for him to be classed as 'One of Us' as the Iron Lady was wont to say.

**************************
Through difficulties to the cinema
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Old 5th Sep 2003, 15:49
  #1560 (permalink)  
 
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That sudden blip in the progression of this fine thread

The blame can be laid at the cloved feet, of Tricky Woo.
ItsE ternal.
ItsV ile.
ItsI ntolerant.
ItsL oathing:
of the success of this thread pervades.

Keep your heavy coats of Petersham, to ward off the cold and pray that Singapore Girl returns with greater pure magic: Concurrent with these actions, watch for the heirs of the dark one, that we may be ready to brush off its mark.
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