Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

Toast Toasters

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Toast Toasters

Old 16th Jun 2022, 21:21
  #1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baston
Posts: 2,288
Toast Toasters

Inspired by the lunch thread, a thought: was there ever a Mess DIY toaster that satisfied the users? Those dreadful machines where the bread slowly revolved, to emerge as a charcoal biscuit or warm soggy discoloured bread?

I met several which had their controls Araldited, presumably to the PMC's spec. thus pleasing nobody else. And whose toast was it that emerged? My trick was to rip a small corner off before offering it to the furnace.
langleybaston is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 08:03
  #2 (permalink)  
Thought police antagonist
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I always have been...firmly in the real world
Posts: 1,195
Oh quite, the level of deprivation when the toast wasn't the approved shade of ochre can only be imagined...heartless of me I know, but, those in the Airman's Mess always worked as intended.

Now, had you mentioned the trays of over / under cooked fried eggs swimming in grease (spec.unknown) to grace said perfectly coloured and cooked toast, that would have been a more justified concern.
Krystal n chips is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 08:29
  #3 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: London
Posts: 445
My recollection is that the models with immobilised controls were always locked at the magic setting whereby the bread would be barely warm after one lap, but fully cremated after two.
pasta is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 09:52
  #4 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baston
Posts: 2,288
Originally Posted by Krystal n chips View Post
Oh quite, the level of deprivation when the toast wasn't the approved shade of ochre can only be imagined...heartless of me I know, but, those in the Airman's Mess always worked as intended.

Now, had you mentioned the trays of over / under cooked fried eggs swimming in grease (spec.unknown) to grace said perfectly coloured and cooked toast, that would have been a more justified concern.
Oh! my dear old thing. How positively ghastly.
What about the stupid sprig of whatever on a barely warm half tomato.
Or cold plates ........ beyond belief.
Standards, standards.

[I do remember saving a piece of bread to wipe the irons after dipping them in a trough of filthy warm water,]
langleybaston is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 10:04
  #5 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Where the heart belongs
Age: 54
Posts: 401
and god forbid you should sit in the Mess and make yourself a sausage and/or bacon butty during the breakfast service (or my prefered option, sausage and bacon egg banjo).
Sideshow Bob is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 10:33
  #6 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 151
Aaaah; banjo!
DuncanDoenitz is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 11:32
  #7 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baston
Posts: 2,288
need a bib though.
langleybaston is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 11:54
  #8 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glorious Devon
Posts: 714
Originally Posted by DuncanDoenitz View Post
Aaaah; banjo!
One cannot understate the joys of beginning a late night shift as OOW1 with a decent egg banjo. My beard kept it off my mess kit and gave me something to snack on later, when I removed the fallout prior to retiring to the duty bunk.
Ninthace is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 12:32
  #9 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Station 42
Age: 67
Posts: 966
Was on a dreary four-hour split-shift gate guard detail at a certain Wilts airfield one night and the mini-van raced up with our supper. Opened what looked similar to a sick bag and saw that a broken fried egg, chips and baked beans had been shovelled in. No spoon to scoop out the jumble, either. Oh, how we laughed...
On the other hand, the Airmens' Mess toaster worked fine if you had the time to queue. I can still remember the taste of the urn tea nearly 50 years later. Took ages to get used to the 'normal' civvy stuff.
stevef is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 13:17
  #10 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 30 Miles from the A1
Posts: 446
Well that brought back memories of Terence the ticking toaster in the Officer's Mess at Akrotiri. I dont think I ever got a decent piece of toast despite a dozen or so APCs.

Still, the bacon and halloumi baps at Lady Ls prevented us from suffering too much
2Planks is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 13:31
  #11 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 13,771
I “experienced” a conveyor belt type toaster in the Jury’s Inn, Croydon and it worked far better than the weapons grade ones used by the military. All was going well until a German lady tried to toast a couple of large croissant, despite the notice saying bread only! They were too tall to go around the circuit and got jammed up at the back. They then caught fire. I suggested to the lady that trying to stick a metal knife into a live toaster to free them was not a good idea. The burned goods stank the place out.
ShyTorque is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 13:46
  #12 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: UK
Posts: 39
A similar experience in the crew hotel in JFK. Two teenagers let loose on the toaster, jamming sugar coated doughnuts onto the feed belt.
A spectacular result for everyone.
Right20deg is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 14:23
  #13 (permalink)  
Thought police antagonist
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I always have been...firmly in the real world
Posts: 1,195
Originally Posted by DuncanDoenitz View Post
Aaaah; banjo!
Banjo's !

V.1 Home and / or professionally made to order there and then....perfect !

V.2 Attempt to get entry into Guiness Book of Records by compressing as many as possible into a "Hot Loc ". Hot contravening the Trades Description Act !...serve al fresco in scenic delights of a HAS...infuse with various aromas as required. One of those "memorable ", we all had a "WTF ? ! " broadcasts on 17...basically, " do NOT feed the police dogs banjos !" , emphasised several times, because, we were informed, "it upsets their digestive system ".....we felt at the time it was very thoughtful of the grown ups to show such care for animal welfare...and ourselves
Krystal n chips is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 15:25
  #14 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Berkshire, UK
Posts: 768
The problem with toaster programmes is that they don't have a setting for the freshness or moisture of the bread. A loaf that toasts perfectly on a Monday will come out cremated on Thursday. In places which get through enough bread to have it brought in fresh every day will stand a better chance of getting the toaster programme adjusted to do a good job. of course there is then personal preferences, I like toast a just turning honey coloured but Er Indoors likes it crunchy all of the way through. And then there is brown, white and malted affecting the rate of heat absorption etc, etc.

Some years ago there was someone selling a toaster that "looked" at the toast with an optical colour sensor, to determine the optimum time to shut off the heating element. I wonder what happened to it?

Rans6.......
rans6andrew is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 16:18
  #15 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 58
Posts: 10,111
Originally Posted by ShyTorque View Post
I “experienced” a conveyor belt type toaster in the Jury’s Inn, Croydon and it worked far better than the weapons grade ones used by the military.
Used to work across the road from that particular establishment; for some reason we'd occasionally have meetings or "events" in their conference rooms and I took against it! Although we did get fed and watered including the odd pre-meeting brekkers, I never tried the toaster...
treadigraph is online now  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 21:57
  #16 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Richard Burtonville, South Wales.
Posts: 2,165
Originally Posted by ShyTorque View Post
I “experienced” a conveyor belt type toaster in the Jury’s Inn, Croydon and it worked far better than the weapons grade ones used by the military. All was going well until a German lady tried to toast a couple of large croissant, despite the notice saying bread only! They were too tall to go around the circuit and got jammed up at the back. They then caught fire. I suggested to the lady that trying to stick a metal knife into a live toaster to free them was not a good idea. The burned goods stank the place out.
Croydon! There goes my impression of you as an international man of mystery then!

CG
charliegolf is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 22:25
  #17 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 13,771
I’ve been around a bit in my time, CG. Croydon is a very mysterious place!
ShyTorque is offline  
Old 17th Jun 2022, 23:05
  #18 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: U.K.
Age: 45
Posts: 215
Originally Posted by ShyTorque View Post
I’ve been around a bit in my time, CG. Croydon is a very mysterious place!
Never been to the place, but in my early 20’s a lady, (20 years my senior) originally from there, taught me, er, quite a lot.
Jump Complete is offline  
Old 18th Jun 2022, 00:00
  #19 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 13,771
Originally Posted by Jump Complete View Post
Never been to the place, but in my early 20’s a lady, (20 years my senior) originally from there, taught me, er, quite a lot.

About toasters?
ShyTorque is offline  
Old 18th Jun 2022, 00:12
  #20 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 805
Never been to the place, but in my early 20’s a lady, (20 years my senior) originally from there, taught me, er, quite a lot.
Originally Posted by ShyTorque View Post
About toasters?
And was she hot stuff? Did you get burned? Enquiring minds need to know.

Hydromet is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.