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Courtesy Gone Mad!!

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Courtesy Gone Mad!!

Old 13th Jan 2019, 21:21
  #21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Oil Capital of Central Scotland
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Do unto other as you would have them do unto you - Seemples…..

Or Do unto Otters as Otters have done to you, depending on how aquatic your situation is.
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Old 13th Jan 2019, 23:24
  #22 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: SW England
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Now I am officially an old git, and of late have been obliged to walk with a stick, I find that people of all ages and both genders now open doors for me, and I have to say I find this a very pleasant practice.
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Old 13th Jan 2019, 23:43
  #23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2008
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Originally Posted by yellowtriumph View Post
What happens to those who, like me, hold a door open for all sexes as they pass through? No discrimation there surely?
Nope but you forget some jump on the outrage bus at every stop.

I would just reply that "I held the door because you were the person following me, I made no assessment as to your gender".

HR ask I would just say "I do not make specific observations about whether a person is Male / Female or Transgender as that would be discrimatory". That would just get them confused
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 01:33
  #24 (permalink)  
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Or, "I thought that you were a man."
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 01:38
  #25 (permalink)  
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'Sorry, I held the door because I thought you were a human being. I stand corrected..."
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 09:32
  #26 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Ontario
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I was taught to hold doors open for women so I could check them out once they walk through it.

Such a gentleman is me.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 09:43
  #27 (permalink)  
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The Queen is going to get through a heck of a lot of staff then.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 09:55
  #28 (permalink)  
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Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
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I am less and less minded to hold doors open for strangers; not because I am worried about being accused of sexism, it's the frequent lack of acknowledgement that pisses me off.

If I were HR, I'd sack anybody who complained of sexism over a matter of simple courtesy.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 10:10
  #29 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: West Wiltshire, UK
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True story, from well over 30 years ago. First night of our honeymoon, spent in a country house hotel in Wales, an overnight stop on our way to catch the ferry to Ireland. The hotel was alongside a fishing stream, at a guess trout or salmon from all the stuffed fish in cabinets around the place (I'm not a fishing person at all). We went down to dinner, which meant walking through the library to get to the restaurant. There was an elderly couple behind us, with the gentlemen walking with a stick, so I stopped and held the door open for both of them. Neither acknowledged this. As as they walked by we both heard the gentlemen say to his wife "Did you see that? The bounder wasn't even wearing a tie!".

It hasn't stopped me opening doors for ladies or those for whom it might be helpful, much to the annoyance of my wife, who gets quite annoyed when I do it. The problem is that it's ingrained behaviour. It was drummed into me as a small boy that a gentleman should open a door for a lady, and give up a seat for one on a crowded train or bus. I was also taught to always walk on the roadside edge of a pavement when walking with a lady, which is another ingrained habit that annoys my wife. I can't easily stop doing these things though, as it's a subconscious action, and by the time I notice what I'm doing it's too late to stop.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 10:22
  #30 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Southampton
Posts: 659
I also told her that for a Brit guy over 50 doing things like that and holding doors open was virtually bred into you and was an automatic reaction.
Therefore anyone who complains is also discriminating by being Ageist.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 11:18
  #31 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: ZRH
Age: 56
Posts: 560
All this stupidity will simply end up in a situation where employers will start to seregate males and females just to be on the safe side. And there will be employers who will simply stop hiring women for the same reason, in fact there are such reports from America already. Guy I know who works for a huge company there mentioned some ground rules which were laid out after the Weinstein scandal including a clear prohibition for two people being in the same room alone, not using elevators in uneven numbers, do not address female coworkers unless you are spoken to and so on. Who would like to work under such conditions?

People who act like this should be made aware that they will do NOTHING for gender equality at the workplace, but rather will indirectly deny a lot of level headed and competent women the workplace they deserve!
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 12:10
  #32 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: UK - EGLF is closest.
Posts: 101
Read the book entitled ‘Rude’ by Katie Hopkins recently. Not necessarily about holding doors open for others but she suggested that in dealing with those bridling at such courtesies to say something along the lines of, ‘I do not give offence; you decide to take it. You need to make better decisions’. I have made a useful mental note … !SI
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 12:13
  #33 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: UK
Age: 43
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I hold the door for people - gender is irrelevant. It's called manners.

Should any "lady" complain, I will happily slam the door as hard as possible in her face. Luckily, this scenario has never occurred.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 13:02
  #34 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Ilmington, Warwickshire
Posts: 65
A while back, I held a door open for a bloke in a wheelchair. He actually turned around and told me off for patronising him! Like every other poster in here, I would hold a door open for anyone - male, female, able bodied, disabled, young, old -because I was brought up that it’s polite to do so. If someone is ahead of me, I usually hold a door open with my arm up along the hinge side; if they’re following me, I hold the door until the person is either through or they choose to take the weight.

If someone does the same for me, I smile and thank them.

Incidentally, I tend to see more poor manners from the older generation. Many of them seem to have an expectation of entitlement and not always very gracious when they receive assistance or courtesy.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 13:20
  #35 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2009
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I was brought up to hold doors for others or give up my seat for others, its' what we did. To me this says a lot:

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Old 14th Jan 2019, 14:29
  #36 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 18
As my old Nan used to say.
"manners maketh a man"
And best of all they are free.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 14:33
  #37 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by GLIDER 90 View Post
With reading in the paper today about todays culture in the work place, now it's a stackable offence to open a door open for a female colleague, after it was reported that this silly B went to complain to HR about harassment because someone opened the door for her. If I saw her stranded in the rain because her car had broken down I would drive by. Like someone said he will not speak to any of his colleagues incase of a harassment charge. What next if someone passes wind in the office, no doubt a visit to HR for a warning!!
I've never worked anywhere that it's a sackable offence, or an offence of any kind. Nor is it an offence for a woman to open a door for a man. No idea what paper you read but try a bucket of salt with it.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 14:41
  #38 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2004
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The problem is that it's ingrained behaviour
And that really sums it up VP, and I entirely agree. It's a bit like the "excuse me" (or the Russian equivalent "Извините"), I tend to say it even when I am *not* the one at fault! I don't think I'll ever shake that one off, pretty sure that is a very British trait.
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 14:45
  #39 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reading, UK
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Originally Posted by treadigraph View Post
I am less and less minded to hold doors open for strangers; not because I am worried about being accused of sexism, it's the frequent lack of acknowledgement that pisses me off.
If I hold a door open for someone, and they say "thank you", they get a "you're welcome".

If they fail to acknowledge it, they get a "you're welcome".
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Old 14th Jan 2019, 15:12
  #40 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2002
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Originally Posted by DaveReidUK View Post
If I hold a door open for someone, and they say "thank you", they get a "you're welcome".

If they fail to acknowledge it, they get a "you're welcome".
When I hold the door open there is always a 'thank you' whether they say it on I do 😁

However I often have to keep my mother in law on the straight and narrow. She is of the generation that knew its place and would always stand aside if she thought the other person more important than her, that is everyone. She is 93, does not need patronising but shouldn't have to stand aside for anyone.
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