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Why do UK funerals take so long to happen

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Why do UK funerals take so long to happen

Old 25th Jan 2018, 21:19
  #21 (permalink)  
 
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Why do UK funerals take so long to happen

What´s the rush?
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Old 25th Jan 2018, 22:20
  #22 (permalink)  
 
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As far as I can remember, the delay before cremation or funeral has been 2 - 3 weeks ever since I started doing 'em in the eighties. Oddly enough, this holds true winter and summer - prob because staff tend to take holidays when the weather is warmer!


There is a limit to the number which can be processed on a particular site in a particular day, of course. (In the cremators, too.) Hence the need to schedule tightly, to pack 'em in. (But I did grin at the thought of a series of hearses 'stacked' over the Crem.)


In the case of urgency - particular religious requirements, or simply rellies needing to get back to the Antips, a slot can usually be found at an unsocial time. And I have to say I found the local graveyard singularly uncomfortable at 09:00 on a snowy winter's morning. But that's probably just me...
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Old 25th Jan 2018, 23:26
  #23 (permalink)  
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I've donated me bones to research. I've got the letter of approval but it seems they have no commitment to take me on the day. If they don't, I shall complain. Oh, wait . . .

Another thing is I have to be within 40 miles of the hospital. I've asked the Rivetess to sit me on a park bench within limits - with the letter of approval in me pocket.

'Don't be silly Robin', was the reply - she only fails to use the contraction when I'm being less than sensible. When I added that perhaps the Iceland driver would drop me off for a quick 500 smackers it still didn't bring a smile, though I suspect it was the excessive cost she was frowning at.

My mum is in the sea, the Frinton beach and with her relatives around their grave. She's in this universe, that's what matters. Somewhere in an æther that materializes our energy. So easy to feel her near.

ricardian, say Hi to Lorna Anne if you find yourself heading north to the island. A little soul that changed our lives near the end of the war and the only one of my four semi-siblings to know of my existence until two weeks before I managed to traces them in my sixties.
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Old 25th Jan 2018, 23:58
  #24 (permalink)  
 
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Just for fun:

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Old 26th Jan 2018, 00:26
  #25 (permalink)  
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These days human ashes usually go in hand baggage, various airlines and airports have come to accept this. Possibly a copy of the death certificate and, if such a thing exists, a copy of a cremation certificate would smooth the passage.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 00:51
  #26 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Loose rivets View Post

ricardian, say Hi to Lorna Anne if you find yourself heading north to the island. A little soul that changed our lives near the end of the war and the only one of my four semi-siblings to know of my existence until two weeks before I managed to traces them in my sixties.
Lorna Anne?
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 04:03
  #27 (permalink)  
 
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I avoid them at all costs, only been to my parent's. I just say I'm not going to anyone's who isn't coming to mine.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 09:11
  #28 (permalink)  
 
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SWMBO refuses to go to funerals, even her parents', so I suggested that I should donate my body to the university or some such. This suggestion was met with horror. I can't se why, the idea of doing something useful appeals, compared with mouldering away or going up in smoke, not that I'll care.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 09:33
  #29 (permalink)  
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It's just taken me 3 weeks to get SWMBO to the crem. I was pre-warned that the autopsy could be a delay, but it only took 2-3 days. The difficulty was getting a booking at the crem - over a week ahead to get a sensible day and time, and then having selected it, on ringing back to the crem to make a firm booking, in the 10 minutes we were discussing it, some other bugger had taken the slot and we had to go through it all again.

Back in the 1980s a mate's wife rang me with details of his funeral. It was short notice and we had been expecting over two weeks delay due to a lot of flu that year. She told me that she had managed to get a cancellation!!
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 10:24
  #30 (permalink)  
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Someone mentioned on here the Shipman murders, I have wondered if this has led to more post mortems. A case in point a few years after his conviction an elderly relative of mine died, she had seen a GP in the previous twenty four hours and we obtain cremation certicates from two doctors, so we had met all the legal requirements including there should be no PM. The body is released from the nursing home to the undertakers. Next thing is we get a call from the coroner, that he requires a PM.

On another occassion, family friend complained of a pain/swelling in his leg for a few days, then starts having breathing problems, para medics work on him for thirty minutes after which he dies. Clearly under UK law a PM is required. Some of you on here can probably guess the cause of death already. A full PM is acrried out which I have read. Now you would think the pathologist based on the infomation he had woulve investigated the leg, lungs and heart first and on that basis would have concluded as he did there was a clot on the leg and lungs and the death was caused by a DVT and thrombosis. But no he went on the remove the brain, and vital organs such as the liver and weigh them. Why?

I have to say I am not entirely in agreement with the number of evasive PMs carried out in the UK, oddly my view in in line with muslims. At the moment two UK cities with large muslim communities are running trial of non invasisive PMs using MRIs, but I see no reason why someone of any faith could not request one.

Now going back to the delay in intering ashes. I recently read that in the christian faith that the mains whether a body should be returned to the ground as soon as possible, so you could argue that if as in my case the local vicar was not cooperating.

Now onto the delay by solicitors, I recently came across someone, who was still waiting for solicitors to sort out her husbands estate, having died in April 2017!! I have to say a couple of years ago, a friends husband died and I offered to carry out the probate and administration of his estate. I am not legally qualified. I managed to complete probate and the administration of the estate in three months. I have to say it was really easy and quite why anyone would pay a solicitor £220 + and hour to do it is beyond me. Also to add the man in the probate office in the county court was really helpful.

Now onto the cost of funerals of which in the above case I arranged. I keep seeing adverts for funeral plans suggesting they cost between £4000 and £6000, what utter rubbish. For about £2200 I arranged the following, one hearse, a coffin, two undertakers, family as pallbearers, twenty minute service followed by cremation, veiwing of the body in a chapel of rest and a Baptist minister. So how did I do this below what is suggested is the cost of a funeral. Firstly I found a truly indepedant funeral dierector, quite old fashioned, but not part larger organistions such as Dignity, The next thing I requested was no embalming, the undetaker was honest enough to say there is no point these days due to modern refrigeration. While I said this funeral cost £2200, it actually cost £200, because while doing the adminstration of the estate and dealing with the DWP, I became aware that the widow was entitled to a funeral grant of £2000, despite there being enough funds in the estate, quite odd, but completely above board.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 11:10
  #31 (permalink)  
 
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When my uncle died, my cousins arranged the funeral between them - no funeral director, they literally did the lot, except the service at the church where he was buried. My uncle had farmed all his life, so one might expect this sort of level of practicality, perhaps.

I arrived at the church and was standing around outside when one of my cousins turned up in his pickup truck, with a tarpaulin over the back. He collared me and said "could you give me a hand to get dad out of the truck?".

He did the same to a few others, and we soon had half a dozen impromptu pall bearers. We carried the wickerwork coffin (made by a friend of one of my nieces, apparently) into the church, complete with his favourite hat and pipe on top, and then carried him out to the churchyard, and followed the vicars instructions on how to put big straps under the coffin to lower it down, gently.

We then all retired to my late uncles local, and had a great party. Best funeral I've ever been to.

Apparently the cost was minimal, as they did practically everything themselves. I remember my cousin saying that one potential hold up was needing a bit of paper to authorise the burial, and that he'd had to rush around that morning to get it and let the vicar have it.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 11:14
  #32 (permalink)  
 
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All of this assumed a "usual route" is followed.

When my dad passed away in 2012, we were thrown the curve ball that he wanted a "woodland burial" - something growing in popularity. He passed away in Winchester so we hastened away to Google. Two sites presented themselves - one in St Mary Bourne near Andover, which proved to be a patch of land some farmer no longer has need for. The other was the South Downs Burial Site at the Sustainability Centre near East Meon. The chap there couldn't do enough for us - my mum actually bought a double plot (which removes one hassle for me in the - hopefully distant - future). However, such was the demand that his burial wasn't until a little over 3 weeks after his death.

Following on the from the cost point detailed above, this is also a pretty cost effective means of burial. And, rather than being in some depressing cemetery, Dad lies in a beautiful patch of natural woodland.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 12:15
  #33 (permalink)  
 
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I’ve arranged with the Mrs to pop my clogs on a Monday evening. All she’s got to do then is to get me into the wheelie-bin, and then it out onto the road for collection Tuesday morning.

You can remember me in the Pub, such a pity to waste money on anything else. I will get the first round.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 12:18
  #34 (permalink)  
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Quietly scattered my mum's ashes over her favourite piece of countryside - I walk across there fairly regularly, always spare a thought.

My sister did the probate for her husband and then our mother; she is not the sharpest blade in the knife drawer (he said affectionately) but she is very methodical and good with forms - it took about 8 weeks from submission to being granted with no issues.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 14:59
  #35 (permalink)  
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I haven't even booked mine...
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 15:13
  #36 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BirdmanBerry View Post
In Sctoland it happens very quickly and much easier than in England. Try flying the ashes back from Edinburgh to Bristol though and that's the bloody hard part.
It depends on where you die. My aunt planned ahead and got herself to hospital the day she died. Had she not it would have required a hearing by the Procurator Fiscal.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 15:38
  #37 (permalink)  
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ricardian
Lorna Anne?
Check your PM's
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 16:41
  #38 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by ExXB View Post
I’ve arranged with the Mrs to pop my clogs on a Monday evening. All she’s got to do then is to get me into the wheelie-bin, and then it out onto the road for collection Tuesday morning.

You can remember me in the Pub, such a pity to waste money on anything else. I will get the first round.
Re-cycle bin or the other one? Don't forget to factor in Bank Holidays and the inevitable disruption to the collection timetable.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 17:50
  #39 (permalink)  
 
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A friend was telling me recently that a member of his family had organised their funeral before they died, and had arranged for the body to be cremated with no gathering at any crematorium by anyone and no funeral service at all. His ashes were collected and stood in a jar on the bar in his local, everyone had a drink and told a few stories about his life, and then they went out and scattered them in some local woodland, where he was especially fond of walking in the spring, as the bluebells came out.

My understanding is that his body went straight from the morgue to the crematorium in a van, I'm not even sure it was in a coffin, and no one knew any of the details, he'd made all the arrangements before he died and given instructions to his solicitor to just do as he wished.

Seemed like a very good way to do things to me. No one had to organise anything, and a lot of the miserable bit of any funeral had been dispensed with.
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Old 26th Jan 2018, 19:43
  #40 (permalink)  
 
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VP.
Looks like he had a pre-paid ‘direct cremation’. When you pop your clogs, they come round and take you to the crem in a van. No fuss, no type of service, religious or otherwise. All done and dusted within days, and a fraction of the price.
David Bowie had something similar and mrs Uffers and I will be doing the same.
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