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2018 Darwin Awards

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2018 Darwin Awards

Old 19th Jul 2018, 17:23
  #201 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Maybe we should have a competition for effective signage.

"Go and get your Daddy to try it first"

" Put your ear on the railway track to hear a train coming"

"Always test a bullet proof vest with a BIG gun, that way you know it will work"

"When playing Russian Roulette with a 6-shooter don't pull the trigger 6 times"

" don't play Russia Roulette with a loaded pistol - the next pull is always live"
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Old 19th Jul 2018, 18:10
  #202 (permalink)  
 
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always wet your finger before testing a wire to see if it's live

use both feet to tamp on pond ice to see if it will hold you

when flying on one the new sleeper seats press all buttons at once to see which ones actually work
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Old 19th Jul 2018, 23:07
  #203 (permalink)  
 
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More winning advice from the Emperor Mong ....

Stare straight at whatever it is you think you might hit, such as an oncoming vehicle when you've somehow ended up in the wrong lane, or that tree at the edge of the road when you think you can't make it around a curve. Do not look away, at where you might want to go. Just keep staring at what you are going to hit.

I was just visiting some friends in the village who told me about a kid from their extended family, 20 years old, just got his motorcycle license, who went out riding in the Sauerland with a group of bikers, just to get some practice in. (The Sauerland is a region with a lot of curving roads, known for lots of accidents. It's also where the Dambusters raids took place.)

Nobody knows exactly why, but the kid went out into the left lane (right-hand traffic) on a right-hand curve and collided head-on with another biker. The other biker died on the spot, and his passenger and the kid are now both in hospital with severe injuries. When the kid awoke from his induced coma he had to ask if he'd been in a motorcycle accident. I would bet that the kid followed the advice, above, straight from the Emperor Mong.

It would seem that the Emperor Mong is a real fan of Charles Darwin; he's so helpful in proving Darwin's theory of evolution, doing such good work for him in the shallow end of the gene pool.
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Old 21st Jul 2018, 06:44
  #204 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by chuks View Post
Stare straight at whatever it is you think you might hit, such as an oncoming vehicle when you've somehow ended up in the wrong lane, or that tree at the edge of the road when you think you can't make it around a curve. Do not look away, at where you might want to go. Just keep staring at what you are going to hit.

I was just visiting some friends in the village who told me about a kid from their extended family, 20 years old, just got his motorcycle license, who went out riding in the Sauerland with a group of bikers, just to get some practice in. (The Sauerland is a region with a lot of curving roads, known for lots of accidents. It's also where the Dambusters raids took place.)

Nobody knows exactly why, but the kid went out into the left lane (right-hand traffic) on a right-hand curve and collided head-on with another biker. The other biker died on the spot, and his passenger and the kid are now both in hospital with severe injuries. When the kid awoke from his induced coma he had to ask if he'd been in a motorcycle accident. I would bet that the kid followed the advice, above, straight from the Emperor Mong.

It would seem that the Emperor Mong is a real fan of Charles Darwin; he's so helpful in proving Darwin's theory of evolution, doing such good work for him in the shallow end of the gene pool.
Ah, bikers. The allure of this award can often prove too tempting once astride a motorbike but, in some cases at least, they have the forethought to provide the coroner and police with helpful footage of their aspirations.......which is very considerate of them really.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-eng...ding-at-189mph
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Old 21st Jul 2018, 08:07
  #205 (permalink)  
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Chucks, Makes one wonder how many times cars run off the road and don't hit the lone tree or single telephone pole, or bike on the wrong side of the road.
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Old 21st Jul 2018, 09:26
  #206 (permalink)  
 
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Back in the 1960s, while based at Catterick, I had a Lambretta 125 Starstream and used to commute to and from Liverpool with it each weekend. My route took me across the Pennines toward Harrogate on, I think, the A59 which was not a very wide road. Frequently, in the middle of nowhere, (there's a lot of that on that road!) I would encounter cars coming in the opposite direction with drivers who thought the white line in the centre of the road was purely for decoration. When I saw one coming along the centre line, I would aim my scooter at the oncoming headlights. The fact I am able to write this today is testament to how effective that drastic measure turned out to be.
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Old 21st Jul 2018, 09:28
  #207 (permalink)  
 
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Some people can't avoid hitting trees, wherever they are.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart...river-5369329/
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Old 21st Jul 2018, 11:23
  #208 (permalink)  
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KelvinD, ah, the one eyed car - do you go left of right?
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Old 21st Jul 2018, 15:21
  #209 (permalink)  
 
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Pontius: Head for the one eye!
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Old 21st Jul 2018, 16:24
  #210 (permalink)  
 
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The one-eyed car ....

We were all Darwin candidate in Nigeria, but one of us was a stand-out because he bought a nice, new Honda 125 that he used for cruisin' and boozin'.

Night falls quickly 6 above the equator and it caught him one evening almost home, almost except for this car at the side of the road just short of the compound that was showing one parking light, which he took for the nearside one except that it was parked on the right so that ... never mind, just go left of it and .... He went up the sloping bonnet of a one-eyed, left-eyed VW Beetle, and right over the top to land in the road behind it almost unharmed. "God looks after fools and drunkards," indeed. The little Honda, though, now had the shortest wheelbase ever, and negative rake too.

We in the bar would razz him about this until he lost his rag and went flouncing off to his pit. That lasted almost a week, and then another Darwin candidate did something equally daft for us to focus upon.
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Old 22nd Jul 2018, 00:55
  #211 (permalink)  
 
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Man Drowns at Beach in Toronto: I just happened to be very close to where the latest Toronto winner got his posthumous award. There were huge waves crashing on the shore, over 5 feet or 1.5 metres. Nobody else was even in the water. Even my very brave golden retriever only got her feet wet. But this guy, well he deserves it: https://globalnews.ca/news/4345432/m...oodbine-beach/
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Old 22nd Jul 2018, 03:50
  #212 (permalink)  
 
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hard to fathom why they couldn't resuscitate a guy who was seen struggling if they went to his aide immediately. Did they just wait for the body to wash ashore?
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Old 22nd Jul 2018, 09:39
  #213 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by rotornut View Post
huge waves ...1.5 metres
Went out in a (small) yacht once when the sea state was reported as 1.2m, just me and the captain. After a while she said "so this is what 1.2m waves feel like, we're turning round and going back into harbour". I was perfectly happy out there, but I wasn't going to question her judgement as captain that we should turn around any more than I would expect her to question my judgement to chicken out if we'd been flying.
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Old 22nd Jul 2018, 18:32
  #214 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Gertrude the Wombat View Post
Went out in a (small) yacht once when the sea state was reported as 1.2m, just me and the captain. After a while she said "so this is what 1.2m waves feel like, we're turning round and going back into harbour". I was perfectly happy out there, but I wasn't going to question her judgement as captain that we should turn around any more than I would expect her to question my judgement to chicken out if we'd been flying.
Flying in 1.2m waves might be a bit challenging.

(but I do agree with your point)
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Old 29th Jul 2018, 16:19
  #215 (permalink)  
 
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...with a little shove,,

..bye-bye..
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Old 29th Jul 2018, 20:38
  #216 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BlankBox View Post
...with a little shove,,



..bye-bye..
How does that qualify?
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Old 30th Jul 2018, 19:15
  #217 (permalink)  
 
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Frequently, in the middle of nowhere, (there's a lot of that on that road!) I would encounter cars coming in the opposite direction with drivers who thought the white line in the centre of the road was purely for decoration.
It's like that in India too but usually there are no white lines
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Old 8th Aug 2018, 17:56
  #218 (permalink)  
 
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...and 'nuther one bites the dust...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...=.793f7d8ebb74

...almost..

Last edited by BlankBox; 8th Aug 2018 at 18:18.
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Old 8th Aug 2018, 18:01
  #219 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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Riding his bike while masturbating? Must have been a Raleigh Chopper...
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Old 8th Aug 2018, 23:40
  #220 (permalink)  
 
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"Look Mum, no hands!"
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