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Admiral Draper's Really Really Boring and Totally Pointless Snippets of Information

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Admiral Draper's Really Really Boring and Totally Pointless Snippets of Information

Old 14th Jul 2021, 15:24
  #14281 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
One was thunking along the lines of taking the New World Order representative with you on the day..
Well I had thought of that Krystal but we discussed the matter and he has advised that he does not need to attend but instead has presented me with his demands to take with me. He has pointed out, and rightly so, that now that cats must be licenced with the local council, and that since a cat licence costs the same as a dog licence then cats should be able to enjoy the same privileges as dogs. He pointed out to me, again quite rightly, that special parks are provided for dogs where they can be walked by, and play with, their owners so he insists that I tell the Premier and his Cabinet that this unequal and appallingly cattist state of affairs must be immediately addressed and corrected.

I did ask him what "cattist" meant and he says that it's similar to being racist, neither of those attitudes being acceptable to any member of the New World Order. So, it looks like my mission, should I choose to accept it (and I'd better), will be to demand special outdoor play areas for cats, as many as there are for dogs ... at least that many.

Sigh. It's a rough life being chief of staff to a member of the NWO!!!
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Old 14th Jul 2021, 16:37
  #14282 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glorious Devon
Posts: 299
Originally Posted by BlueDiamond View Post
Well I had thought of that Krystal but we discussed the matter and he has advised that he does not need to attend but instead has presented me with his demands to take with me. He has pointed out, and rightly so, that now that cats must be licenced with the local council, and that since a cat licence costs the same as a dog licence then cats should be able to enjoy the same privileges as dogs. He pointed out to me, again quite rightly, that special parks are provided for dogs where they can be walked by, and play with, their owners so he insists that I tell the Premier and his Cabinet that this unequal and appallingly cattist state of affairs must be immediately addressed and corrected.

I did ask him what "cattist" meant and he says that it's similar to being racist, neither of those attitudes being acceptable to any member of the New World Order. So, it looks like my mission, should I choose to accept it (and I'd better), will be to demand special outdoor play areas for cats, as many as there are for dogs ... at least that many.

Sigh. It's a rough life being chief of staff to a member of the NWO!!!
I trust HWMBO is equally on insistent in his search for equality by insisting on a collar and lead from now on and by not being allowed to roam over, or void his bowels on, other folk's property. Presumably, he also insists when he is out and about, from now on you must follow him around and clean up after him?
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Old 14th Jul 2021, 17:22
  #14283 (permalink)  
Thought police antagonist
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I always have been...firmly in the real world
Posts: 1,123
That's catalist you'll be taking with you then Bluey... the NWO always like to delegate to minions as you knows...
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Old 14th Jul 2021, 19:19
  #14284 (permalink)  
 
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As they say, dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 01:40
  #14285 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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Yes indeed Ninthace. Because of his heart condition he is not allowed out on his own but loves his daily walks on his collar and lead. The back garden is always open to him via the cat flap but the whole area is closed off in such a way that he can't get out of there. He does his daily "patrols" out the front and round the sides of the house with either myself or my housemate in attendance to hold his lead and find suitable twigs for him to "kill". Interestingly, he prefers to leave his little gifts in the litter tray rather than outside and will come inside to do a dump ... maybe he just likes making sure I have something to occupy my time!!!

Here he is having a little rest after chasing and killing a particularly vicious twig.



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Old 15th Jul 2021, 06:06
  #14286 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Mainland
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^ Handsome cat, Bluey
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 06:44
  #14287 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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Make sure that the laws have a "claws" that requires cats to be inside the house at night, and not roaming about in the dark killing our wildlife. They also must come when we call them, be able to fetch a beer from the fridge, and understand that my side of the bed is MY side of the bed.
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 08:47
  #14288 (permalink)  

PPRuNe Handmaiden
 
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Discovered a nice Japanese/Korean restaurant in Milton Keynes yesterday. Very tasty
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 10:04
  #14289 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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Make sure that the laws have a "claws" that requires cats to be inside the house at night, and not roaming about in the dark killing our wildlife. They also must come when we call them, be able to fetch a beer from the fridge, and understand that my side of the bed is MY side of the bed.
I'd love to see such a law Ascend Charlie. If I'm driving at night and see wandering cats I feel afraid for them ... at the mercy of traffic and goodness knows what. Interestingly, a study by the University of Tasmania has revealed that the biggest threat to wildlife comes from vehicles, the next biggest is dogs and cats are in third place but regardless of that I would like to see that law so that cats would be safely at home at night.

Interestingly, my cat does come when I call him (not hard to teach a cat to do that) and I've tried him with the fridge thing but with little success. He can hang onto the door handle but isn't strong enough to open it!! The bed however, is always going to be in dispute I think.
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 10:28
  #14290 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Had a dog that changed into a cat at night. Daytime, standard happy go collie but a night it would wait until all was quiet then creep upstairs and spring into the middle of the bed landing so softly it barely disturbed the covers. It then dispensed with the usual 3 circles dogs do and settled comfortably. Once ensconced, it set about improving its situation by working the human occupants to the edges of the bed, It was so subtle that the first thing you usually knew about it was when you woke up clinging to the edge of the bed with no covers. It could also use its claws to grip.
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 10:48
  #14291 (permalink)  
Thought police antagonist
 
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Originally Posted by Ninthace View Post
Had a dog that changed into a cat at night. Daytime, standard happy go collie but a night it would wait until all was quiet then creep upstairs and spring into the middle of the bed landing so softly it barely disturbed the covers. It then dispensed with the usual 3 circles dogs do and settled comfortably. Once ensconced, it set about improving its situation by working the human occupants to the edges of the bed, It was so subtle that the first thing you usually knew about it was when you woke up clinging to the edge of the bed with no covers. It could also use its claws to grip.
Due to the managements health and mobility, and for reasons of practicality, otherwise known as sleep, we now use seperate bedrooms. This allows her Doggyship to exploit to the full. With the management, she plonks herself on the bed, curls up and then just crashes out before later quietly relocating alongside her with some doggy luvvin .

With me, madam has long made it clear she will have the right side and I can have what's left. Plonks onto the pillow, give's a shuffle and snort, not unlike the management really come to think of it, and then sleeps, until, she feels like relocating anywhere on he bed. Should a CAT, sorry about this Bluey, enter the garden, madam will spring into life, jump on me, paws on the window and express her sentiments. Thereafter, will kindly jump over me returning to the pillow. If my head should wander across when she's not in residence, but wishes to be, we alight on the bed, stick our backside into my face and kick seven shades out of me until I move.

I thunk the above isn't quite how the status quo is meant to be..
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 10:55
  #14292 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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I knew that those of the feline persuasion had an inbuilt "incredible expanding cat" ability which enables one average size cat to completely occupy one king size bed but I never knew the woofers could do the same thing!!
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 16:02
  #14293 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 545
Degs are replete with hidden talents! Did you know that one can utilize their behavior to navigate as one would utilizing a magnetic compass? See: North by Northwest
"Aye, Cap'n, make the course three points larboard of the dog's nose!"

- Ed
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 16:36
  #14294 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
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Presume the dog is a pointer, Ed?

(Spellchecker helpfully changed pointer to painter - presume the dog is tied up then...)
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 17:32
  #14295 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
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My daughter is an ambulance technician and works peculiar shifts. Her partner works offshore and disappears for days or weeks at a time. To help her out Her Indoors and I dogsit at her house for a couple of days depending on her shift. I sleep in a temporary bed in No 2 bedroom and the dog is billeted with me at night. It is used to climbing on daughter's bed at night though it will not dare when her partner is home. It has, on two occasions, tried to sleep on my bed as opposed to the doggy bed on the floor.

Gravity is very effective in changing its mind.
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 18:07
  #14296 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
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Excellent surmise treadigraph! Not all dogs are pointers, but, apparently, all dogs have lubber lines. They also have an anatomical part which somehow resembles a compass rose.

- Ed
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Old 15th Jul 2021, 23:04
  #14297 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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A ropey response from me is all dogs are warped! Kedge you later, alligator!
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Old 16th Jul 2021, 02:49
  #14298 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
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Location: Perth, Western Australia
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I can see you guys need a stern talking to! Aweigh with you!
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Old 16th Jul 2021, 05:40
  #14299 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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Plenty moor yet Bluey!
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Old 16th Jul 2021, 05:49
  #14300 (permalink)  
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For those who don't understand Dog (and Cat) democracy.

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