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Admiral Draper's Really Really Boring and Totally Pointless Snippets of Information

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Admiral Draper's Really Really Boring and Totally Pointless Snippets of Information

Old 1st Mar 2019, 21:35
  #9581 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 1998
Location: Ex-pat Aussie in the UK
Posts: 4,303
I have man flu. Also not impressed.
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Old 2nd Mar 2019, 02:44
  #9582 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Beds
Posts: 73
Thankfully a man flu free zone here but up and about with a hurty neck. Convinced that using 'orthopaedic pillows' mean you soon need an appointment with a surgeon of the same speciality.

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Old 2nd Mar 2019, 09:30
  #9583 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hampshire
Age: 71
Posts: 639
Sitting here with a pair of smashed knees, a sore elbow, a sore arm and a broken rib. Hurty bits all over but particularly the broken rib. Equally unimpressed!
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Old 2nd Mar 2019, 10:38
  #9584 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 1998
Location: Ex-pat Aussie in the UK
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l shall complain less about my man flu. :o
Ouch! Kelvin.
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Old 2nd Mar 2019, 15:01
  #9585 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: spacetime
Posts: 253
Don`t know much about manflu, but I do know there must be a pillow somewhere on the market that allows one to rest peacefully without listening to your heartbeat.
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Old 2nd Mar 2019, 15:39
  #9586 (permalink)  
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
 
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 02:23
  #9587 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
Sitting here with a pair of smashed knees, a sore elbow, a sore arm and a broken rib. Hurty bits all over but particularly the broken rib.
Next time, Kelvin, just say "Yes Dear" ... could save you a lot of pain! Hope everyone feels much better soon, especially our missing Fearless Leader, the captain of the ship. I hope he knows we all think of him often and hope to see him back on the bridge as soon as possible.
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 04:36
  #9588 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Mainland
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^ Hear, hear.
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 06:41
  #9589 (permalink)  
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
 
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 06:43
  #9590 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hampshire
Age: 71
Posts: 639
Bluey: If only it was that simple! I don't currently have a "Dear" to say yes to. My demise was due to some ignorant "rectum" discarding a stretch of fishing line which became tangled in a line of concrete blocks, marking the edge of the beach to the car park. As I stepped over the block, my trailing foot was caught in the line but as I had already launched myself onto the top of the block, the only way was down. Face first (well forehead first actually). Still, I am comforted in times like this by the words of a PTI when I was in training in the Army. We were doing the assault course thing in full combat kit plus rifle and, coming down the scrambling nets my mate Ken got caught up in the net and did a similar, larger scale stunt similar to mine. Only he had a greater distance to fall. In his words, he said he heard a loud crack and thought he was going to be in the poo for having his rifle go off. This PTI came rushing up and said "Don't just lie there. Give me 10 press ups". He then had to scream "Stop! I was only kidding" as my mate began the press ups and the PTI could see quite clearly the loud crack had been one of mate's legs breaking. While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, he gave us his opinion on pain, telling us "There is no such thing as pain. It exists only in your mind. You can't hold it, measure it or taste it. It is literally a figment of your brain's imagination". I have carried those words in my head for decades and do you know what? It is true and pain can be managed to a huge extent mentally. To a point!
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 10:46
  #9591 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Bedford, UK
Age: 65
Posts: 1,181
Originally Posted by KelvinD View Post
Bluey: If only it was that simple! I don't currently have a "Dear" to say yes to. My demise was due to some ignorant "rectum" discarding a stretch of fishing line which became tangled in a line of concrete blocks, marking the edge of the beach to the car park. As I stepped over the block, my trailing foot was caught in the line but as I had already launched myself onto the top of the block, the only way was down. Face first (well forehead first actually). Still, I am comforted in times like this by the words of a PTI when I was in training in the Army. We were doing the assault course thing in full combat kit plus rifle and, coming down the scrambling nets my mate Ken got caught up in the net and did a similar, larger scale stunt similar to mine. Only he had a greater distance to fall. In his words, he said he heard a loud crack and thought he was going to be in the poo for having his rifle go off. This PTI came rushing up and said "Don't just lie there. Give me 10 press ups". He then had to scream "Stop! I was only kidding" as my mate began the press ups and the PTI could see quite clearly the loud crack had been one of mate's legs breaking. While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, he gave us his opinion on pain, telling us "There is no such thing as pain. It exists only in your mind. You can't hold it, measure it or taste it. It is literally a figment of your brain's imagination". I have carried those words in my head for decades and do you know what? It is true and pain can be managed to a huge extent mentally. To a point!
So you are now a Buddhist. My approach to pain is to focus exclusively on it, whine to anyone within earshot and seek the strongest painkillers allowed on the planet. Philosophical approaches are best left to contemplation of death: here and now I want pharmaceuticals.
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 10:55
  #9592 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by KelvinD View Post
"There is no such thing as pain. It exists only in your mind. You can't hold it, measure it or taste it. It is literally a figment of your brain's imagination".
The exact phrase that was offered to me by a clinical psychologist at the Pain Clinic during my chronic pain phase after my thoracotomy.
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 14:35
  #9593 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Bedford, UK
Age: 65
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Originally Posted by G-CPTN View Post
The exact phrase that was offered to me by a clinical psychologist at the Pain Clinic during my chronic pain phase after my thoracotomy.
Think the same must apply to an orgasm then. Next time ask for more specific advice.
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 15:27
  #9594 (permalink)  

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Join Date: Feb 1997
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Ouch KelvinD. Still, if you're going to hurt yourself, may as well do a proper job.
Yesterday I wouldn't have passed the 50 test. Today, I'd think about it.
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 19:22
  #9595 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: apogee
Age: 64
Posts: 57
Was reading about the boreal forests and just how much of them go to pulp these days.
It said the average American uses three rolls of toilet paper a week.
Which made me do a quick calculation. One roll every three weeks.
Been doing it a long time, pretty sure I'm doing it right.
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 19:59
  #9596 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by meadowrun View Post
Was reading about the boreal forests and just how much of them go to pulp these days.
It said the average American uses three rolls of toilet paper a week.
Bigger asses - or fuller with cr4p?
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Old 3rd Mar 2019, 22:17
  #9597 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
Posts: 2,168
It's the wimmen, use it every time they have a wee, grab the roll and wrap it around their hand 3 times just to mop up 2 drops.

Jiggle it like we do.
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Old 4th Mar 2019, 06:47
  #9598 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: The Twain
Posts: 50
Yesterday by mistake I put a 2Gb USB drive into the washing machine on cotton cycle. Today it still works. Well both the USB drive and the washing machine still work.

I am still in rejoicing mood.
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Old 4th Mar 2019, 10:59
  #9599 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: In the pension queue, Lancashire, UK
Age: 75
Posts: 206
Jiggle it like we do.
Seem to remember a cartoon back in the 1970s (?) of two men looking at a public toilet commenting how the adoption of modern fabrics had unexpected consequences.

The mens' toilets were renamed "Shake dry" and the womens' "drip dry".

GG
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Old 4th Mar 2019, 12:30
  #9600 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: The spiritual home of DeHavilland
Age: 71
Posts: 3,106
The exact phrase that was offered to me by a clinical psychologist at the Pain Clinic during my chronic pain phase after my thoracotomy.
When my chest was sliced open, I found the morphine more effective.
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