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Limericks Mk 2

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Limericks Mk 2

Old 20th Aug 2015, 13:18
  #521 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Richmond NSW
Posts: 1,222
It's sad when one's life is blighted
By true love that's unrequited
I gave her a pat on the bum
Which left my hand feeling numb
But I think she left feeling rather slighted


Will our great friend from the Costa Brava ever return?
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 14:59
  #522 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
It's impossible during the Summer
To get hold of a decent plumber
They're all off on their hols
With racy young dolls
It really is an absolute bummer
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 16:25
  #523 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Richmond NSW
Posts: 1,222
I'm a guy with a pretty good wrench
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 18:04
  #524 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 449
I'm a guy with a pretty good wrench
In the mood, I can vent a good stench,
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 23:03
  #525 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
I'm a guy with a pretty good wrench
In the mood, I can vent a good stench,
The malodorous flatus
Increases my status
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 23:04
  #526 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 624
So, Billie Piper
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 07:47
  #527 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,847
I'm a guy with a pretty good wrench
In the mood, I can vent a good stench,
The malodorous flatus
Increases my status
So, Billie Piper like and a little bit French

-------------------------

I once knew a girl from Knoydart
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 08:40
  #528 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Hong Kong SAR
Age: 76
Posts: 289
I once knew a girl from Knoydart
It is said she’s a bit of a tart.
She plays in all weather
With the boys in the heather
Tossing their cabers as they strain to fart.
==========================
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 08:52
  #529 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,847
The Highland girls all like a fling
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 09:19
  #530 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
The Highland girls all like a fling
When they're out at night, wearing their bling.
If you buy them a drink
And give them a wink
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 10:33
  #531 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
The Highland girls all like a fling
When they're out at night, wearing their bling.
If you buy them a drink
And give them a wink
Your bell, they're certain to ring
-----------------------------------
A chap mistakenly thought he
Could do things to a lass that were naughty
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 10:40
  #532 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,847
When she said "please don't"
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 10:55
  #533 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
A chap mistakenly thought he
Could do things to a lass that were naughty
When she said "please don't"
He said "If you won't,"
"I'll find someone who will, Scotty."
======================
A quick search down in the Gorbals
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 11:25
  #534 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,847
Endangered me poor little baubles
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 11:41
  #535 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
And I just missed
Being Glasgow kissed
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 13:18
  #536 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,847
Which isn't one of me foibles

----------------

A gingerhead from Ullapool
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 13:46
  #537 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
A gingerhead from Ullapool
Had an extremely strict rule
It was, money up front

Last edited by goudie; 21st Aug 2015 at 18:19.
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Old 21st Aug 2015, 23:56
  #538 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
A gingerhead from Ullapool
Had an extremely strict rule
It was, money up front
Then a quick shunt.
Soon parted from his money, is a fool.
=======================
A pretty young lass from Ecclefechan
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Old 22nd Aug 2015, 06:27
  #539 (permalink)  
RJM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Orstralia
Posts: 295
A pretty young lass from Ecclefechan
Would often smile and seductively beckon
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Old 22nd Aug 2015, 07:16
  #540 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
A pretty young lass from Ecclefechan
Would often smile and seductively beckon
Back to her place
Where she'd sit on your face
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