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Another female wittering on

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Another female wittering on

Old 4th Feb 2014, 09:02
  #41 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2013
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women, as lovely as their shapely bodies are, are actually insecure little creatures.
they try to reassure themselves by insisting on being the focus of your attention.
hence we get the softly spoken speech 5 miles away across a busy freeway on the basis of "you would have heard me if you loved me."

we had the specific discussion one day where this 'I'd be the focus of your attention if you loved me' bollocks came out.
I said something like ' for you to be the focus of my attention all the time you would have to be machinable on my lathe or a part needing repair on one of my restorations.'
I'm still wondering when the silence over that one will break.
dubbleyew eight is offline  
Old 4th Feb 2014, 09:07
  #42 (permalink)  
 
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I told the galactic ruleress about this thread and informed her that, in future, "if she can't see my face then I can't hear her".

In Bunnings this afternoon all I got, in a loud voice, was, "Look at me when I'm talking!"

Yer can't bloody win with 'em
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 09:17
  #43 (permalink)  

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My ex Always insisted on talking after sex; eventually it got so bad I left the Phone in the car.

One small mercy is women don't fart because they never stop talking long enough to build up pressure
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 09:25
  #44 (permalink)  
 
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The pause for thought thing, don't get me started.
She: "Let's do this or that".
I give the logistics of it about ten microseconds of thought, but that's enough.
"Oh, if you don't want to, let's not"!"
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 09:35
  #45 (permalink)  
 
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I start to tell her something important and after 2 seconds get either:
A) What?
or
B) Ssh I'm listening to the radio.
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 09:51
  #46 (permalink)  

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I bet she'd hear you if you said, "Your sister is better in bed than you."


Look at me when I'm talking to you!

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Old 4th Feb 2014, 10:04
  #47 (permalink)  
 
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"Your sister is better in bed than you."
The well-known Rodeo Sex.
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 13:02
  #48 (permalink)  
 
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MagnusP

>Besides, if they were as good at multitasking as they claim, then what's so difficult about having sex and a headache at the same time?<

I was acquainted with a young lady who claimed the best cure for a headache for her WAS to have sex! I never seemed to be around when she a headache, unfortunately......
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 13:27
  #49 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Capetonian View Post
I have told Mrs. CPT that if she can't see my face while she's talking to me, I can't hear her. I have been telling her this for years. It's like pissing into the wind.
I spent the last 25 years of my RAF time either strapped to a Puma main rotor Gearbox or sat inside a C130K/J so just like you unless I am looking at folk when they speak it's often lost in the background noise.

My good lady knows this but like yours fails to use that knowledge
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 13:48
  #50 (permalink)  
 
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I must be one very lucky person then, same wife for more than 40 years, she don't like shopping, she don't talk too much and she realises that my hearing is somewhat reduced after 16 years spent in engine rooms.
We frequently fly long hauls and we can do a 12 hour trip without hardly exchanging a word. I must have done something right.
Per
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 14:14
  #51 (permalink)  
 
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Radeng, I also was aquainted with such an angel, but alas, she was my wife's best friend.
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 21:07
  #52 (permalink)  
 
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I am not sure if I should put it here or in the joke thread, a guy offers to her girlfriend a glass of water and a painkiller. She points out she does not have a headache, so he says: ok then let's have sex since you don't have a headache as usual.

Rwy in Sight
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 21:28
  #53 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Rwy in Sight View Post
I am not sure if I should put it here or in the joke thread, a guy offers to her girlfriend a glass of water and a painkiller. She points out she does not have a headache, so he says: ok then let's have sex since you don't have a headache as usual.
As writen, he's up for a threesome.

Or, as written, the guy is a gal.

Damn, I'm getting a headache.
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 21:49
  #54 (permalink)  

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Oh yes, all the above is true. Except the "not farting" bit. Mine must have a check valve fitted somewhere.

One thing I can't fathom is how she "multi-tasks" in her conversations. I should say diatribes, because I'm often not expected or allowed to speak until she runs out of breath, which can be a very long time.

The person referred to as only "she" or "he" can actually be one of two or three people because there is often more than one subject being talked about, or the channel changes with no warning. I'm often lost trying to follow who the first conversation could be about, because no name was mentioned, let alone the others brought in later.

Trouble is, somewhere in all this flow, is a golden nugget of highly important information. If I miss it, I haven't listened to a word she's said.

I was recently totally vindicated of not listening, though. I was accused of missing one of these golden nuggets which was about a birth in the extended family. I knew I hadn't been told the baby had arrived, she insisted that I'd not been listening! Production of a parking ticket, still stuck on the windscreen of my car, proving that I was three miles away at the time of the alleged listening infringement, was the necessary evidence in court. The conversation had been with my daughter, not me.
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Old 4th Feb 2014, 22:21
  #55 (permalink)  
 
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The conversation had been with my daughter, not me.
........but you were still wrong !

Which brings me back to the old Genie/bottle joke about the guy who wished for a road bridge between California and Hawaii, and the Genie berated him for asking for such an impossible task, and gave him another chance, OK, said the guy," then let me understand my wife", whereupon the Genie said - "about this highway, how many lanes ? "
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Old 5th Feb 2014, 19:18
  #56 (permalink)  
 
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Or you'll be asked a question and reply accordingly, only to be asked 'What?!' ad nauseum until you loudly and carefully enunciate your reply in sheer frustration at her inability to understand a simple phrase.



She then tells you that you don't have to be nasty about it.
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Old 6th Feb 2014, 04:56
  #57 (permalink)  
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Guilty as charged...

I'll often say something to the ma'am while she's cooking dinner, or cleaning something cleanable, and yet I do it from my solid perch on the comfy couch. Makes for some interesting conversation afterward. (Something about getting my lazy butt up off the couch...)
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Old 6th Feb 2014, 08:46
  #58 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
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I don't know who suggested that women are good at multitasking, but they should be machine-gunned.

I'd volunteer to do it.







...one bullet at a time.
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