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Panicked and Hysterical Phone Call From The Mrs

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Panicked and Hysterical Phone Call From The Mrs

Old 7th Aug 2013, 09:08
  #141 (permalink)  
 
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Bloody spider legged it (geddit?) unscathed as well...
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 11:18
  #142 (permalink)  
 
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When the drama is all over perhaps you can relax with the misses over a beer and a movie. I recommend 'snakes on a plane'
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 11:37
  #143 (permalink)  
 
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Variation on the SRT episode :

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Old 7th Aug 2013, 13:10
  #144 (permalink)  
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SRT:

How's this for a spider? They exist in the sandbox. My nephew who served in Iraq tells many a tale of these ugly things. None of them good!


Last edited by rgbrock1; 7th Aug 2013 at 13:11.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 14:45
  #145 (permalink)  
 
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Solifuge, Mr Rock. Got plenty of them in Africa. One is taught to clear one's boots and other kit before donning because of those buggers, scorpions, snakes and other tasty treats.

They're attracted to movement so if you stand still they'll generally just run right by you. always good fun watching the catastrophe tourists in Loki see one and go to pieces with said bug hot on their trail, causing an increased volume in the yodeling and ever more arm waving and thrashing about to shoo it away. It is for to laugh....

That said, got woken one hot night in Loki by one galloping up the old wedding tackle, across my chest and over my face before disappearing behind the curtain. Temperature was in the high thirties so one was sprawled on the bed in one's birthday suit. This caused one to levitate screaming like a little girl, almost ripping the sheets off the bed in one's tightly clenched arse cheeks.

Hairy ginger barsteward was sought out and despatched for traumatising one's slumbers, something one doesn't usually do to spiderkind.

Also had a big hairy bugger living above my bed on the wall in Zambia. Scared the crap out of me a few times but we got used to each other. I have no doubt my morning breath did the same to him. He would snack on the mozzies hovering around me while I slept so we had an understanding. Also had a clumsy gecko living in my wardrobe. He'd stumble around at night, tripping over my nail clippers, knocking things over and bumping into tins of deodorant. I think he was stoned on the shaving cream or something.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:00
  #146 (permalink)  
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SRT:

Galloping spiders? That pretty much sums up, rather well, how some of the bigger ones seem to move!

Spiders really don't bother me much. Even the bigger ones.

However, I learned during the "Florida phase" of my training that the below "creatures" are a force of their own to be reckoned with. (Or, preferably, left alone to their own devices.) We'd overnight in some ungodly swamp area but it was difficult getting any shut-eye as now and then you'd hear the things going about their business.

One of the more frightening things I learned about gators is how stinking fast they can be. Normally they move rather slowly but if need be my understanding is they can reach speeds of 20mph over short distances. Having said that, I never got the chance to outrun one!

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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:20
  #147 (permalink)  
 
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RGB-waggy finger to you. No spider alert posted. Hope Admiral Draper doesn't wander into this thread. Your death will not be easy.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:32
  #148 (permalink)  
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Limeygal:

Forgive me, I have sinned!

I understand your innate dislike of spiders but YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA where gators can be the size of horses, (well, not really but they can be extremely large), where red ants are common place, where June bugs make a mess of ones car (regardless of the month) and where lizards of all shapes and sizes prance around like ants do up here.

So, mentioning the despicable gator is okay but a big, fat, hairy spider isn't?

Last edited by rgbrock1; 7th Aug 2013 at 15:33.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:40
  #149 (permalink)  
 
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Yup-don't do spiders. When I was an archaeology student out in the woods in field school, I had a bit of a run in with a very large banana spider. Big as my hand, I walked right into its web. The bloody thing got in my hair and bit me on my neck. You think your wife acted girlie with the snake-you probably could have heard me scream two counties over. Urgghh horrible hairy things. Probably have nightmares now.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:43
  #150 (permalink)  
 
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Crocs around here are sneaky buggers as well. Used to have a guard standing by when taking a dip in the Cunene. Couple of grenades to scare them off beforehand and Bob's yer uncle.

speaking of monitor lizards, they seem to be quite fixed in their purpose when doing something. Found a fairly large specimen crossing a busy road so stopped and grabbed it to prevent it getting flattened. By the time I'd got to the snake park to release it to JS, it had pretty much shredded the boot and back seat of my BMW. It was a crap car in any case, and an episode with a load of frozen chook forgotten in there a few months later led to its eventual sale.

Re the frozen chook, the car was getting a little whiffy in the heat and the final straw was to fight off a wildcat that had got in there overnight when I parked at a mate's place in the bush with the windows open to get rid of the pong. When I opened the boot, I found a 20lb box of frozen chook I'd put in there a fortnight before and forgotten about. It was getting pretty runny by then so after clearing it out I had the car steam cleaned, but there was no way to get rid of the smell. Needless to say, the resale value took quite a knock.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:43
  #151 (permalink)  
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Yes, I know of the banana spider. And don't worry, limeygal, I won't be naughty and post a huge photo of a banana spider.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:47
  #152 (permalink)  
 
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RGB-thank you
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:50
  #153 (permalink)  
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But lizards are really interesting reptiles. I had a few Geckos as pets many moons ago. I'd like to get some more for but a: they're a pain in the arse to keep and b: the Mrs. is girly.

I mean, how else would one keep a mini dinosaur as a pet?!!!
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:56
  #154 (permalink)  
 
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rgb

Keep them in a glass tank !!!

Easy to keep / feed.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:57
  #155 (permalink)  
 
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Dinosaurs? Geckoes are soft dopey buggers, although they do crap a lot... And on everything.


Saw a fairly big gecko trying to scoff a huge sausage fly in Moz. The gecko was stuck to the roof chewing thoughtfully on a struggling insect bigger than he was, with that far away look you see on a dog's face when he's laying a monster stinker in the driveway and hopes you don't notice.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 15:59
  #156 (permalink)  
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500N:

but if the temperature in the glass tank isn't uniformly warm across the entire tank, then said Geckos tend to go belly up. I know, I've experienced it. And, yes SRT, they do tend to crap wherever it suits them. Nature's Taliban.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 16:01
  #157 (permalink)  
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SRT:

The look on a dog's face when laying a monster-sized crap on the driveway? Then you must not train your dogs well. I have.




Or, better yet, get yourself one of these dogs:


Last edited by rgbrock1; 7th Aug 2013 at 16:04.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 16:02
  #158 (permalink)  
 
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Had lots of geckoes around the place when we lived in the Middle East. Didn't mind them at all. They ate the bugs (and I hope, horrible spidery things) Hope we go to a new page soon. I have to keep my eyes closed when I scroll down the page. (I know-I'm such a girl)
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 16:07
  #159 (permalink)  
 
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My lot are too busy practicing simultaneous snoring and farting to do any of that stuff.
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Old 7th Aug 2013, 16:09
  #160 (permalink)  
 
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SRT

Sounds like my dog !!!
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