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World All-Time Duvet Record

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World All-Time Duvet Record

Old 18th Feb 2013, 08:56
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World All-Time Duvet Record

World All-Time Duvet Record

Monday, washday, 8am, put all the bedclothes in the machine for the statutory 40 degree C one-and-three-quarter hour wash.

When the time was up I pulled out just one solid mass - the duvet cover had cannibalised the undersheet, two pillowcases (mine) and a further two pillowcases (guests for the use of, one can but hope).

Everything was consumed in its entirely, nothing hanging out, all fully consumed. How does it do this? What physical law says things can go into a duvet but not out again? Is the duvet the aggressor or are the other bedclothes submissive volunteers? Would a very small duvet cover serve as an effective Maxwell Demon?

Above all, if a duvet cover can eat pillowcases with over fifty per cent success, why is it that pillowcases do not eat each other ???
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 09:00
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It's one of life's little unfathomables, mike. MrsP now has me trained to fasten one or two of the buttons on the duvet to minimise the linen cannibalism.

If only it was so simple to deal with the issue of the missing single sock....
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 09:00
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Wrong to start a new thread for this.

The really really boring and totally pointless snippets of information thread XXI
was created for such profundities.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 09:43
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Question mike-wsm: Why? - Why you? - Why 8am on a Monday? - Sinister reason behind you having to do this, at this time?

It's all wrong, so wrong
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 09:53
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MrsP now has me trained to fasten one or two of the buttons on the duvet to minimise the linen cannibalism.
likewise with mrs gear.. took some beating in with a 2x4 though!
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 10:00
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Tis merely a variant of the same law that says that when you have neatly coiled the cable of your phone charger and put away in a drawer, when you next open the drawer it will have re-arranged itself into a piece of knitting of far superior complexity than a simple knit one, pearl one.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 10:04
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Well that is spooky. When I took the bedlinen out of the washing machine this morning (washed and dried o/night) the duvet had consumed two pillow cases, in spite of being buttoned up!
As well as socks, handkerchiefs also go missing. When I say I want handkerchiefs for presents it's because I need them to replace those that go missing.
Why do pens disappear? We buy them in packs but to no avail, they all vanish!
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 10:07
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There's a planet out there with nothing but biros and wire coathangers on it.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 10:16
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. . . and unmatched single socks, RJM, you forgot the socks.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 10:17
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It is a well known fact that pens transmogrify into wire coat hangers.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 10:19
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Best way to control socks and other small items is to use a nylon laundry net to keep them together.

Kids socks in particular can get round the drum and end up blocking the outlet pipe.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 10:31
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use a nylon laundry net to keep them together.
Ours seems to be missing!
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 11:35
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Ours seems to be missing!
It'll be in your duvet cover.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 14:01
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I never have an odd coloured sock. All mine are black. Saves time and trouble.


Aaron.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 14:14
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Caution: don't wash a live duvet cover. They tend to get hungry inside washing machines.

If you can't bare to kill it, then throw a couple of diazepam in with the duvet when you do your wash - this will tranquilise it and it won't eat anything (or everything) else thrown in with it.

Socks are another matter as one or more (but never both of a matching pair) will make a leap for eddies in the space/time continum and if sucessful they will disappear for ever.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 14:25
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Wire coat hangers? the world is feckin knee deep in the bloody things until such time as you desperately need one to poke through a hole in the wall in order to pull cables back through,got a wire coat hanger Missus? nary one to be found when needed.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 14:31
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Socks are another matter as one or more (but never both of a matching pair) will make a leap for eddies in the space/time continum and if sucessful they will disappear for ever.
May be true in the Iberian peninsula, but elsewhere in civilisation the missing sock will mysteriously emerge the day after the orphaned sock has been carted away by the local waste disposal authorities (bin men , we used to call them)
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 14:35
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Ain't that the truth Capt. Drapes There is nary one to be found for paint stirring duties either. They are ideal for that, quick snip to get rid of the bendy end, shove the cut twisted ends in a drill chuck, fold down the parts where the clothes would hang and any paint stirred in about 30 seconds with no effort expended. Sheddite tip no. 1134.

Last edited by beaufort1; 18th Feb 2013 at 14:41.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 14:41
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A Gold Star to whoever comes up with the most uses for a wire coat hanger.

A bonus point for the most original/unusual. The FSL's decision is final.
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Old 18th Feb 2013, 14:47
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An associated mystery is why, when you drop a white pill on an oak floor WITH NO CRACKS BETWEEN PLANKS, you can never find the pill again.
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