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Friday Jokes

Old 26th Mar 2019, 03:38
  #12681 (permalink)  
 
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Devil

Originally Posted by Ascend Charlie View Post
but what do the Chinese characters say?

"Warning, beware of the tower"
No. They say "M" "C" "A" "S"
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Old 26th Mar 2019, 07:29
  #12682 (permalink)  
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Shouldn't that be CFIT?
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Old 26th Mar 2019, 09:37
  #12683 (permalink)  
 
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Maybe "BUGGA"
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Old 26th Mar 2019, 09:45
  #12684 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by UniFoxOs View Post
Shouldn't that be CFIT?
Ends in IT certainly, think the first three are o, s and h.
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Old 26th Mar 2019, 09:51
  #12685 (permalink)  
 
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With thanks to Ivan Brackenbury.
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Old 27th Mar 2019, 07:30
  #12686 (permalink)  
 
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Old 28th Mar 2019, 02:57
  #12687 (permalink)  
 
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737 max ID guide
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Old 28th Mar 2019, 08:44
  #12688 (permalink)  
 
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Twas way back in the sixties. A photograph in a Royal Air Force magazine that showed that a 20 amp fuse, which had blown, had been wrapped and crossed over with locking wire. Would have taken well over 100 amps.
I went for these new fangled fuses that have an audible 'blow' function. You have to be sure they are pointed the right way round.


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Old 28th Mar 2019, 23:00
  #12689 (permalink)  
 
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Old 28th Mar 2019, 23:02
  #12690 (permalink)  
 
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Old 28th Mar 2019, 23:43
  #12691 (permalink)  
 
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"Dave Allen on Airplanes" on YouTube

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Old 29th Mar 2019, 01:58
  #12692 (permalink)  
 
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Old 29th Mar 2019, 06:58
  #12693 (permalink)  
 
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I found this ‘fuse’ in a 13A plug I checked!
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Old 29th Mar 2019, 10:55
  #12694 (permalink)  
 
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The cartridge-as-fuse story appears to be false:
Yes, it's been doin' the rounds.

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Old 29th Mar 2019, 16:30
  #12695 (permalink)  
 
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Old 30th Mar 2019, 05:27
  #12696 (permalink)  
 
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"Perfidious Albion" Marquis de Ximenès (1726–1817).

'Twas Albion that wooed fair Europa,
He shafted her under from Dover.
She grew into a trout,
But begged, 'Please don't pull out!'
He, wanting to sleep, just rolled over.

Copyright, jolihokistix

Last edited by jolihokistix; 30th Mar 2019 at 06:39.
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Old 30th Mar 2019, 13:50
  #12697 (permalink)  
 
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One day a husband announced to his wife that they were in such terrible financial difficulty that she would have to go to work as a prostitute to help with the family income, and reluctantly she agreed to try it out. At the end of her first day she returned home and the husband asked her how much she had made, “one hundred pounds and fifty pence” she responded,
“good grief” said the husband, “who gave you 50 pence?”, “all of them” she replied.
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Old 30th Mar 2019, 14:13
  #12698 (permalink)  
 
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Old 30th Mar 2019, 15:03
  #12699 (permalink)  
 
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Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.
It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
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Old 30th Mar 2019, 16:58
  #12700 (permalink)  
 
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