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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 31st Jan 2019, 23:14
  #12481 (permalink)  
 
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 15:59
  #12482 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by lomapaseo View Post
It might be funnier if we had a caption this challenge
Ok here goes.
"I'm a JBer"
"Oh not another one, I might as well throw these away."
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 16:14
  #12483 (permalink)  
 
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"You're a tanker? <sigh> Oh well then - hold these pants while I find my magnifying glass"
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 17:04
  #12484 (permalink)  
 
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"If you had sex with me, and I find out about it, you are going to be in a lot of trouble!"
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 17:33
  #12485 (permalink)  
Drain Bamaged
 
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“Oh, you’re a tanker!? I will announce "On the way!" before I break wind”
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 17:46
  #12486 (permalink)  
 
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"Is there a dick in here? Cos there sure ain't one in your pants, Tanky"

CG
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 17:52
  #12487 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Originally Posted by Ogre View Post
It means that she won't get then wet when she pi$$es herself laughing at their attempts to be suave and sophisticated....

Air Force pilots (particularly fast jet pilots) have a similar opinion of their sexual magnetism. If you didn't get that by looking at them they will be sure and tell you....
I thought it was because of the size of their watch!
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 18:52
  #12488 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Sloppy seconds anyone?
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 18:56
  #12489 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
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"A tanker? I thought you said wan... oh never mind."
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Old 1st Feb 2019, 21:47
  #12490 (permalink)  
 
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Old 2nd Feb 2019, 07:52
  #12491 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
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I thought it was because of the size of their watch!
Correct.

Stewardess complained to hotel reception that all the pilots were swimming naked in the swimming pool, could they send security ?

If they're naked, how do you know that they're pilots ?

They all have big watches and little cocks.
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Old 2nd Feb 2019, 10:23
  #12492 (permalink)  
 
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I always thought that you had to have a small cock to be eligable for the Masons
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Old 2nd Feb 2019, 16:53
  #12493 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Retired to Leafy Bucks
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Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in his vineyard.

He herded it through the grapevine.
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Old 3rd Feb 2019, 11:45
  #12494 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: England
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I always thought that you had to have a small cock to be eligable for the Masons

What has building walls got to do with willy size?
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Old 3rd Feb 2019, 12:33
  #12495 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
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An American met up with a former colleague whom he had not seen for several years. The colleague was a Native American - a full blood Cherokee named (aren't they all?) Running Bear.

A. Hi, ole Running Bear - how's tricks?

NA Could be better, could be worse.

A Oh - say, how is that lovely wife of yours. Little Moonbeam?

The NA frowned before replying - As is the custom in my tribe, I have insisted that she takes a new name.

A Oh - what's her new name?

NA Three Horses

A Three Horses? Isn't that a strange name for a wife? Why did you choose it?

NA Nag, nag, nag...
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Old 3rd Feb 2019, 12:34
  #12496 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Farnham, Surrey
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Of course it would be even MORE amusing if they knew how to spell neighbour...

PDR
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Old 3rd Feb 2019, 13:40
  #12497 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reading, UK
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Originally Posted by PDR1 View Post


Of course it would be even MORE amusing if they knew how to spell neighbour...

PDR
Presumably there wasn't room on the mug for the full rule which, as any English teacher would have told the potter, is " 'i' before 'e', except after 'c', but only when it rhymes with 'ee' ".

So the only word on the mug that breaks the rule is 'Keith', and we all know that Keiths won't be told.
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Old 3rd Feb 2019, 18:11
  #12498 (permalink)  
 
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Posts: 1,200

Been having electrical problems and have run out of fuses. Anyone know the rating of 38 Specials?
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Old 3rd Feb 2019, 18:24
  #12499 (permalink)  
 
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Here's a handy guide
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Old 3rd Feb 2019, 19:32
  #12500 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
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Originally Posted by blue up View Post
Been having electrical problems and have run out of fuses. Anyone know the rating of 38 Specials?
The kids who ran the lighting gallery in the school hall did find that the fuses kept blowing at irritating moments, such as in the middle of a play, which they solved by replacing the fuses with lengths of 1/4" copper rod.
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