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Friday Jokes

Old 7th Jun 2012, 08:54
  #1201 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2009
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Obviously edited ... but do you really spell Labour that way?
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 09:31
  #1202 (permalink)  
 
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XB the poster is an Aussie and the ALP spells it as Labor.


That reminds me - I haven't slapped that butt-ugly bogan
bitch for quite a while now...

Slap Gillard
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 09:43
  #1203 (permalink)  
 
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Own up, Slash, you really see her as a hot little redheaded Myfanwy from the valleys. You know you want to.
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 10:28
  #1204 (permalink)  
 
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ExXB

Obviously edited ... but do you really spell Labour that way?
only if you are'nt one
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 11:20
  #1205 (permalink)  
 
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657 metres! Beat that!
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 13:13
  #1206 (permalink)  
 
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Slasher, do you have one where you can slap Camoron, Clegg or Gormless Gordon?

Last edited by critter592; 7th Jun 2012 at 13:14.
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 13:25
  #1207 (permalink)  
 
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South African Expats

In Toronto…I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read

'I miss South Africa'.

So I broke the window and took the radio and left a note that read,

'I hope this helps'
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 14:03
  #1208 (permalink)  
 
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You should have taken a dump in the back seat as well to create the right ambiance.


Death by Bongo.
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 14:16
  #1209 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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You should have taken a dump in the back seat as well to create the right ambiance.


Death by Bongo.

There goes my appetite for supper. Many thanks.
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 14:55
  #1210 (permalink)  

More than just an ATCO
 
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do you have one where you can slap Camoron, Clegg or Gormless Gordon?
Give your favourite politician a slap here
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 19:49
  #1211 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
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GREEN HEALTHCARE
A woman from LA who was a tree hugging liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter activist purchased a tract of land near Colville WA.
There was a large tree at one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of the splendor of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl and to her surprise it attacked her. In her haste to escape the woman slid down the tree and got many many splinters in her crotch area.

In considerable pain she hurried o the local ER to see a Dr. She told him she was an environmentalist anti-hunting democrat and how she came to get all the splinters. The Dr listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the waiting room while he saw if he could help her.

She sat and waited 3 hours before the Dr reappeared.

The angry woman demanded “What took you so long?” He smiled and said “well, I had to get permits from the EPA, the Forest service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area so close to a waste treatment facility. And I hate to tell you, I’m sorry, but due to Obamacare they turned me down.”

This is from a friend in the states,not too far removed from the proposed changes to the NHS perhaps
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 22:33
  #1212 (permalink)  
 
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Lon More - Thanks for that!

Just off to give Thatch & Nick Griffin a good [email protected]
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Old 7th Jun 2012, 22:42
  #1213 (permalink)  
 
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Wink

What is the primary advantage of rotary winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?
They have a Joystick?
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Old 8th Jun 2012, 00:16
  #1214 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Our Australian Government have introduced

a new form of government:
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Old 8th Jun 2012, 09:35
  #1215 (permalink)  
Just another erk
 
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Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Paddy’s, 18th birthday came’ round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy,stepped out of the boat …and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy,went to see his grandmother. ‘Grandma,’ he asked, “It’s my 18th birthday, so why can’t I walk ‘cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?” Granny looked deeply into Paddy’s, troubled brown eyes and said,“Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August.
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Old 8th Jun 2012, 10:33
  #1216 (permalink)  
 
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The Euro according to Blackadder

Baldrick: "What I want to know, Sir is, before there was a Euro there were lots of different types of money that different people used. And now there's only one type of money that the foreign people use. And what I want to know is, how did we get from one state of affairs to the other state of affairs"

Blackadder: "Baldrick. Do you mean, how did the Euro start ?"

Baldrick: "Yes Sir"

Blackadder: "Well, you see Baldrick, back in the 1980s there were many different countries all running their own finances and using different types of money. On one side you had the major economies of France , Belgium , Holland and Germany , and on the other, the weaker nations of Spain , Greece , Ireland , Italy and Portugal . They got together and decided that it would be much easier for everyone if they could all use the same money, have one Central Bank, and belong to one large club where everyone would be happy. This meant that there could never be a situation whereby financial meltdown would lead to social unrest, wars and crises".

Baldrick: "But this is sort of a crisis, isn't it Sir?".

Blackadder: "That's right Baldrick. You see, there was only one slight flaw with the plan".

Baldrick: "What was that then, Sir?"




Blackadder: "It was boll**ks".
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Old 8th Jun 2012, 10:40
  #1217 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Singapore
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Originally Posted by Lon More View Post
Give your favourite politician a slap here
I had to search around until I found the unctuous B-Liar, and have now punched him so many times I have RSI... It was worth it.
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Old 8th Jun 2012, 12:22
  #1218 (permalink)  
 
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TAZE THE B*ST*RD... TAZE HIM!




Brings a whole new meaning to 'Mounted Branch.'

Last edited by Tigger4Me; 8th Jun 2012 at 12:23. Reason: Format
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Old 8th Jun 2012, 12:49
  #1219 (permalink)  
 
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Is that a policewoman underneath, or is the horse a queer?

CG
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Old 8th Jun 2012, 13:51
  #1220 (permalink)  
 
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Them's Irish Coppers and that's a Pikey nag...
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