Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 29th Jul 2017, 21:18
  #10601 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 807
ricardian is offline  
Old 30th Jul 2017, 08:05
  #10602 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 807
I was on the bus and in front of me was a woman with her small child. The child peered over the back of the seat and began making faces at me. After a while I remarked "Did you know that if you keep doing that your face will set that way and you won't be able to change it?"
The obnoxious little sod said "Yes, I know that. And you can't say that you weren't warned!"
ricardian is offline  
Old 30th Jul 2017, 17:02
  #10603 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 807
ricardian is offline  
Old 30th Jul 2017, 18:48
  #10604 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East of Edenbridge
Age: 58
Posts: 84


"...No, everything is fine here...."
OPENDOOR is offline  
Old 30th Jul 2017, 18:59
  #10605 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hundred Acre Wood
Posts: 256
Ricardian, if I'd known that you were going to post all those Gary Larson cartoons, I wouldn't have bothered buying all his books.
Doug E Style is offline  
Old 31st Jul 2017, 02:15
  #10606 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Balikpapan, INDONESIA
Age: 67
Posts: 517
Originally Posted by ricardian View Post
Many years ago worked at one of Western Australia's early iron ore mines that had been established on an operating sheep station (ranch, for the uninitiated).
Resident sheep soon developed a deep hematite purple colouring.

Canteen rumour was that they ate the high grade ore only and were the world-wide source of top quality steel wool.
WingNut60 is offline  
Old 31st Jul 2017, 21:26
  #10607 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Age: 60
Posts: 5,359
"I don't tell jokes, I just watch the politicians and report the facts." ~ Will Rogers
Lonewolf_50 is offline  
Old 1st Aug 2017, 01:20
  #10608 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Jose
Posts: 726
Now that Scaramucci has done a fandango out of the White House, I assume we'll have Trump's nightly Twitter thunder and lightning (very very frightening) and tomorrow he'll hire someone called Galileo.
llondel is offline  
Old 1st Aug 2017, 03:01
  #10609 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Sydney
Posts: 27
So, Scaramucci now has all the time in the world to learn that cool trick Steve Bannon was teaching him.
feueraxt is offline  
Old 1st Aug 2017, 03:09
  #10610 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Sydney
Posts: 27
feueraxt is offline  
Old 1st Aug 2017, 13:16
  #10611 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: korat thailand
Age: 78
Posts: 136
crippen is offline  
Old 1st Aug 2017, 15:26
  #10612 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 807
ricardian is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 07:53
  #10613 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: last time I looked I was still here.
Posts: 4,510
Hollywood was going for a remake of "The Odd Couple" with Trump staring. They wanted to have the other half of the couple as someone who knows him and is close to him, and had an idea to use either his Comms secretary, Press Spokes person or Chief of Staff. Due to ever changing circumstances the project is on hold.
RAT 5 is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 08:11
  #10614 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Farnham, Surrey
Posts: 1,190
I can hear someone cutting the grass. I hate living next door to a prison.
PDR1 is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 08:14
  #10615 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Farnham, Surrey
Posts: 1,190
People in Alabama eat more bananas than monkeys.

In 2016 they ate 73,432,384 bananas and only 6 monkeys.
PDR1 is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 11:44
  #10616 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Farnham, Surrey
Posts: 1,190
According to The Independant these 11 jokes (some of which we've already seen here) will only be funny to very smart people. All I can say is that it looks like there are far more smart people in th3e world than I had previously suspected:

1. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

2. There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who read binary and those who don't.

3. There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

4. A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing but you accidentally say Mother.

5. 'Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a lot of new faces tonight, which is disappointing'

6. A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, 'No, I'm travelling light.'

7. C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The landlord says 'Sorry, we can't serve minors'.

8. A palindrome walks into a bar, says "Yasraba Otni Sklawem Ordnilapa".

9. Entropy isn't what it used to be.

10. Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Bat Man

11. The new band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet


PDR
PDR1 is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 14:06
  #10617 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 67
Posts: 896
sitigeltfel is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 14:51
  #10618 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South Africa
Age: 82
Posts: 1,323
Originally Posted by PDR1 View Post
According to The Independant these 11 jokes (some of which we've already seen here) will only be funny to very smart people. All I can say is that it looks like there are far more smart people in th3e world than I had previously suspected:
PDR
Please define 'smart'.
ian16th is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 15:45
  #10619 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Retired to Leafy Bucks
Posts: 94
Originally Posted by PDR1 View Post
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who read binary and those who don't.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand binary, those that don't, and those that didn't expect this joke to be in ternary.
goldfrog is offline  
Old 2nd Aug 2017, 16:12
  #10620 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Jose
Posts: 726
Originally Posted by goldfrog View Post
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand binary, those that don't, and those that didn't expect this joke to be in ternary.
Damn! I was going to point this out. Good job I read to the bottom of the list before doing so.
llondel is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.