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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 4th Feb 2017, 12:10
  #9521 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Eternal Beach
Posts: 1,025
@ RAT 5

It's Lixdesia!

Oneevery knows that.

halas
halas is offline  
Old 4th Feb 2017, 13:42
  #9522 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: east sussex
Age: 59
Posts: 17
Dyslexia is a serious medical condition, and you shouldn't make jokes about it.

It's not clever and it's not furry.
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Old 4th Feb 2017, 13:48
  #9523 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Perth - Western Australia
Age: 70
Posts: 1,806
This story is actually true, and it happened to me today.

I parked my car and stepped out with a handful of coins to feed the parking ticket machine.
Amongst the collection of coins there was a substantial number of (AU) 10 cent coins I wished to be rid of, as they accumulate rapidly, and one rarely utilises them to buy anything.

I fed a dozen of the 10c coins into the machine, but one was continually rejected.
After re-feeding it to the machine about 4 times, I realised it wasn't a 10c coin, it was very shiny, and it had a different pattern on it.
I picked the rejected coin up and studied it, and then realised it was a Czech, 5 Korun coin.

Right then, I understood the reason for the constant parking machine rejection.

Australian parking ticket machines won't accept Czechs under any circumstances.
onetrack is offline  
Old 4th Feb 2017, 14:23
  #9524 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Thailand
Age: 70
Posts: 40
That's only common cents
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Old 4th Feb 2017, 22:45
  #9525 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,928
DNA = National Association of Dyslexics
treadigraph is offline  
Old 4th Feb 2017, 23:08
  #9526 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 337
DAM= Mothers against dyslexia
innuendo is offline  
Old 5th Feb 2017, 09:27
  #9527 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Perth - Western Australia
Age: 70
Posts: 1,806
TomU - Yes, you're correct. I should have known after the 3rd rejection, that the dodgy Czech would just keep bouncing back.
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Old 5th Feb 2017, 10:11
  #9528 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Austria
Posts: 674
There once was an dyslexic occult who sacrificed a guinea pig to Santa.
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Old 5th Feb 2017, 10:31
  #9529 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 67
Posts: 900
My grandmother can't get the hang of her new stairlift.

It's driving her up the wall.
sitigeltfel is offline  
Old 5th Feb 2017, 21:45
  #9530 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: East Sussex
Posts: 439
Made me smile, from a local newspaper Village Voice column:
Peacehaven: BURNS NIGHT: Burns night was successful, which unfortunately ended rather promptly with a fire alarm. Thankfully everyone enjoyed the night, and all are safe.
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Old 6th Feb 2017, 06:36
  #9531 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Smaller Antipode
Age: 85
Posts: 15
My dog is dyslexic - he thinks he's god.
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Old 6th Feb 2017, 10:03
  #9532 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Belgium
Posts: 81


Actually this is NOT a joke. Anybody remembers seeing the same typo when pushing back from KSFO International Terminal gates G87 or G85?
Must have been in 2011-2012 , a giant white "SOTP" at the end of tow?
gb777 is offline  
Old 6th Feb 2017, 10:49
  #9533 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 1,022
Originally Posted by gb777 View Post


Actually this is NOT a joke. Anybody remembers seeing the same typo when pushing back from KSFO International Terminal gates G87 or G85?
Must have been in 2011-2012 , a giant white "SOTP" at the end of tow?
Did they put it POTS in Israel?
Kulverstukas is offline  
Old 6th Feb 2017, 12:16
  #9534 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: last time I looked I was still here.
Posts: 4,510
Talking of 'reading backwards is supposed to help'?? The idea of spelling AMBULANCE backwards on its cab, so that drivers can read it correctly in their rear-view mirror. Hm?

There is this large white or day-glow yellow vehicle covered in hi-viz emblems and phone numbers: it also has large flashing lights and very loud sirens; and it is hurtling down the road in pursuit of my rear-end. OMG what is it? I cry. Only when it is close enough to read the small print do I realise it is an ambulance and do the honest thing. However, on the other side of the road, coming in the opposite direction, is some maniac in the same type of vehicle, swerving in & out of the traffic like a joy-riding lunatic. I'm looking for the cameras and sound crews. No one there. I see this strange hieroglyphic on the front of the charging vehicle, and using my comparison software wired into my cranium I deduce that this too is an emergency vehicle of some sort and do the honest thing.
RAT 5 is offline  
Old 6th Feb 2017, 14:07
  #9535 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: uk
Age: 69
Posts: 72
Hearing that scientists have developed a cure for dyslexia was music to my arse.
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Old 6th Feb 2017, 17:15
  #9536 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: N. Spain
Age: 75
Posts: 1,310
Actually this is NOT a joke. Anybody remembers seeing the same typo when pushing back from KSFO International Terminal gates G87 or G85?
Must have been in 2011-2012 , a giant white "SOTP" at the end of tow?

"Switch ON the Pilot"?
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Old 6th Feb 2017, 20:43
  #9537 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
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ricardian is offline  
Old 6th Feb 2017, 21:19
  #9538 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Here
Age: 42
Posts: 13
Dirty Derek our local flasher was thinking about retiring, but he's decided to stick it out for another year...
BadgerGrowler is offline  
Old 7th Feb 2017, 11:59
  #9539 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wild West Yorkshire
Age: 57
Posts: 3
Talking of 'reading backwards is supposed to help'?? The idea of spelling AMBULANCE backwards on its cab, so that drivers can read it correctly in their rear-view mirror.
There's nothing more annoying than driving home from the pub VERY carefully to find that the sign on top of the car that's been following you says 'IXAT' instead of 'ECILOP'.
Random SLF is offline  
Old 7th Feb 2017, 12:11
  #9540 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 807
"It's at times like this that I wished we lived abroad" I said to my wife.
"Yes, this weather's absolutely dreadful."
"I wasn't referring to the weather. Your mother's coming up the drive"
ricardian is offline  

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