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Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 26th Oct 2016, 18:11
  #8841 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East of Edenbridge
Age: 58
Posts: 85
Warning; aviation content.

From "Our fleet; Avro RJ100" Swiss International Air Lines

The AVRO RJ is piloted by conventional methods. This means that commands given by the pilot via the cockpit control column are conveyed, in some cases with hydraulic support, to the flight control surfaces – in contrast to aircraft operated by the transmission of electronic signals to computer systems. An AVRO pilot is required to input commands manually to adjust or correct the aircraft’s position according the current flying conditions, without the support of a computer. An aircraft with conventional controls is also equipped with an auto-pilot system; in the case of the AVRO RJ this can be used to land the aircraft in fully automatic mode. Pilots readily switch on auto-pilot as circumstances require.
Suggestions for circumstances?
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Old 26th Oct 2016, 19:47
  #8842 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
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Suggestions for circumstances?

in order to parallel park
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Old 26th Oct 2016, 21:57
  #8843 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Confoederatio Helvetica
Age: 64
Posts: 2,846
OK, you do the translation from Switzerdeutch.
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Old 27th Oct 2016, 00:49
  #8844 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: PA
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who knew bowling could be so fun!

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Old 27th Oct 2016, 03:24
  #8845 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 166
Have you seen this "gardening" advert

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Old 27th Oct 2016, 03:50
  #8846 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 166
[IMG]]
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Old 27th Oct 2016, 04:03
  #8847 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 166
Now this is crazy and very annoying. I have gone to great lengths to re-download chrome, logged in here using said chrome and
managed to post a picture from photobucket.

However when I log-in using Firefox I see that my photo is missing although it is still showing via chrome.

Any clues please good people????
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Old 27th Oct 2016, 08:00
  #8848 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hampshire
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I am seeing your image, using Firefox (presume it is the one of someone looking like Clint Eastwood?)
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Old 27th Oct 2016, 08:15
  #8849 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by KelvinD View Post
I am seeing your image, using Firefox (presume it is the one of someone looking like Clint Eastwood?)

KelvinD and anyone else interested ( If there is of course ) I disabled Ghostery and Ad Block and
reloaded the page and there it is !!!. I reloaded them one at a time and it is being caused by Ad Block somehow
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Old 27th Oct 2016, 08:22
  #8850 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 166
[/IMG]
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Old 27th Oct 2016, 19:08
  #8851 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
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Age: 70
Posts: 1,399
I was in the pub last night and telling my mates the joke about,
"What would you do if an epileptic was having a fit in the bath?"

....... throw your washing in ........

The bloke on the next table said, "My brother who's epileptic had a fit in the bath and died"
...... Well if the ground could swallow me up, I apologized and asked him if he drowned,

He said "No, he choked on a sock"
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Old 27th Oct 2016, 20:28
  #8852 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Age: 60
Posts: 5,393
@NervousSLF: great advert, thanks for sharing.
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Old 28th Oct 2016, 09:16
  #8853 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Old 28th Oct 2016, 18:00
  #8854 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
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Old 29th Oct 2016, 09:11
  #8855 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Temporarily unsure of my position
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The Dalai Lama walks into a Pizza shop and asks "Can you make me one with everything?"
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Old 29th Oct 2016, 14:08
  #8856 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Old 29th Oct 2016, 14:11
  #8857 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
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The Dalai Lama walks into a Pizza shop and asks "Can you make me one with everything?"
Pizza cost 9.95 an dhe handed a 20 and asked when he got no change, told "Change come within"
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Old 29th Oct 2016, 14:35
  #8858 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xlIrI80og8c


"One with everything". Nice one Karl!!
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Old 29th Oct 2016, 15:58
  #8859 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Old 29th Oct 2016, 18:20
  #8860 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Canada/Malaysia
Age: 79
Posts: 118
The New, New Math

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1960s:

1. Teaching Math In 1960s (when I was in school)

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1970s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No

4. Teaching Math In 1990s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 2000s

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).


6. Teaching Math In 2010

Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
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