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Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 30th Sep 2016, 14:57
  #8701 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: south of Cirencester, north of Lyneham
Age: 72
Posts: 1,243
keyboard flier,

Not the same then - the one I knew would be well into his sixties by now.
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Old 30th Sep 2016, 15:41
  #8702 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wild West Yorkshire
Age: 58
Posts: 3
From Punch magazine's Country Life column back in the 80's:
"St. X's Church Parish Magazine, Bow, London: We would like to apologise for last month's Christening announcement in which we published Mr & Mrs X's twins names as Steak and Kidney. Their names are, of course, Kate and Sidney."
Random SLF is offline  
Old 30th Sep 2016, 15:45
  #8703 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 45
Charles Chan was head of security at CX a while back
hei yu is offline  
Old 30th Sep 2016, 15:57
  #8704 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Coasting South
Age: 65
Posts: 54
Sallyann, I suppose the founder died a Death.
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Old 1st Oct 2016, 07:32
  #8705 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 810
ricardian is offline  
Old 1st Oct 2016, 09:14
  #8706 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 810
Blackburn Man Does Five Lines of Cocaine, Has a Forty Minute Wank In a Beer Garden, Is Arrested
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Old 1st Oct 2016, 12:49
  #8707 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Surrey
Posts: 155
gruntie is offline  
Old 1st Oct 2016, 17:04
  #8708 (permalink)  
Paid...Persona Grata
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Between BHX and EMA
Age: 74
Posts: 236
Would that be Dave Davies??
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Old 2nd Oct 2016, 04:58
  #8709 (permalink)  
Man Bilong Balus long PNG
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: And once again, the fun and good times having come to an end for yet another year, back in the cold, cruel real world and continuing the seemingly never ending search for that bad bottle of Red
Age: 65
Posts: 2,567
Knew a bloke named Vivian , nickname Jack.

'Vivian James *******?' I enquired.

'No, Vivian Desmond *******.'
Pinky the pilot is offline  
Old 2nd Oct 2016, 05:02
  #8710 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Southern Sun
Posts: 414
Reporter down here name of Michael Talia.

His sister's name is Jenny.
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Old 2nd Oct 2016, 06:48
  #8711 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 167
Originally Posted by Pinky the pilot View Post
Knew a bloke named Vivian , nickname Jack.

'Vivian James *******?' I enquired.

'No, Vivian Desmond *******.'

"Beanstalk" ???
Nervous SLF is offline  
Old 2nd Oct 2016, 21:45
  #8712 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 68
Posts: 902
For thousands of years primitive man would walk around in circles, beat the earth with a stick, and curse at the sky.

Today, this ritual is known as "Golf".
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Old 2nd Oct 2016, 23:44
  #8713 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: England
Posts: 335
Is this a joke? I certainly laughed.

https://www.thelocal.de/20160826/nak...ooks-his-penis
Sallyann1234 is online now  
Old 3rd Oct 2016, 03:01
  #8714 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: A Marriott somewhere
Posts: 213
Dick Witham Ford - Vw - Your Waterloo Iowa Ford dealer for new Cars, Crossovers, SUVs, Trucks and used vehicles sales and service. Located at 2033 La Porte Rd, Waterloo, Iowa 50702-2759.

Ford dealer, Waterloo Iowa USA. I used to drive by on my way to work. Fitting name for a car dealer.
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Old 3rd Oct 2016, 10:02
  #8715 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 810
ricardian is offline  
Old 3rd Oct 2016, 11:30
  #8716 (permalink)  
Man Bilong Balus long PNG
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: And once again, the fun and good times having come to an end for yet another year, back in the cold, cruel real world and continuing the seemingly never ending search for that bad bottle of Red
Age: 65
Posts: 2,567
Originally Posted by Pinky the pilot View Post

Knew a bloke named Vivian , nickname Jack.

'Vivian James *******?' I enquired.

'No, Vivian Desmond *******.'


"Beanstalk" ???
Very good Nervous SLF.

Go direct to the bottom of the Class!
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Old 3rd Oct 2016, 16:17
  #8717 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: No idea - what does the GPS say?
Age: 60
Posts: 62
Don't think this has been posted before....

I fell down the stairs carrying my guitar and accidently wrote a One Direction hit.
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Old 4th Oct 2016, 03:31
  #8718 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 22
Hate to say it, but the joke thread is becoming......lame.
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Old 4th Oct 2016, 07:26
  #8719 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Austria
Posts: 675
Ricardian, unless that game is played by other rules today than it was back when it was shown on German TV, the "I" of "air" should already be on the board. It is already shown in "in" and "tonight" after all...

That show seems to have turned very late-night...
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Old 4th Oct 2016, 18:28
  #8720 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Jose
Posts: 726
Hate to say it, but the joke thread is becoming......lame.
That's because real life has overtaken satire. It's why John Stewart quit his show, he could no longer compete with the news programmes.
llondel is offline  

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