Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 4th Mar 2013, 12:21
  #2701 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595

Last edited by Slasher; 4th Mar 2013 at 12:22.
Slasher is offline  
Old 4th Mar 2013, 13:10
  #2702 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 170
Sallyann, actually the oldest joke goes

"ug, ug-ug-ug, uuuuuGGG !! ug, whaaa? ug oooerr ug!"
G&T ice n slice is offline  
Old 4th Mar 2013, 13:12
  #2703 (permalink)  

Ich bin ein Prooner.
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Home of the Full Monty.
Posts: 503
Re:
The above post.
Good old Slasher, he's our man,
If he can't do it, nobody can!
Noah Zark. is offline  
Old 4th Mar 2013, 13:32
  #2704 (permalink)  

More than just an ATCO
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Up someone's nose
Age: 70
Posts: 1,768
Lon More is offline  
Old 4th Mar 2013, 17:59
  #2705 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Somewhere between E17487 and F75775
Age: 75
Posts: 723
What's the coke bottle got to do with it, Lon ? Do they tell you to take a deep breath, hold it, and then thrust the bottle up your fundament ? Sure, that would give you big melons I guess. Hot' ver domme !
OFSO is offline  
Old 4th Mar 2013, 20:17
  #2706 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Age: 60
Posts: 5,340
Sallyann, actually the oldest joke goes

"ug, ug-ug-ug, uuuuuGGG !! ug, whaaa? ug oooerr ug!"
Might want to work on your timing, there.





Some people just can't tell a joke.
Lonewolf_50 is offline  
Old 4th Mar 2013, 20:32
  #2707 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: East of LGB
Age: 64
Posts: 620
That and he hosed up the punch line.

It's "oooerr ug ug grunt"
11Fan is offline  
Old 4th Mar 2013, 20:53
  #2708 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 170
Might want to work on your timing, there.
That and he hosed up the punch line.
Sheesh ! everyone's a critic
G&T ice n slice is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 06:06
  #2709 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 805
Always let the woman speak first
ricardian is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 09:35
  #2710 (permalink)  

Ich bin ein Prooner.
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Home of the Full Monty.
Posts: 503
I got to get me one o' them there hats!



Facebook
Noah Zark. is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 09:42
  #2711 (permalink)  

Ich bin ein Prooner.
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Home of the Full Monty.
Posts: 503
I certainly did, Slash. Then I tried it to see if it was working, and couldn't get any sense out of my pooter! Thanks for that!
Noah Zark. is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 09:42
  #2712 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
www.facefcuk.com is coming soon!
Slasher is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 09:43
  #2713 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
How'd you do that??
Slasher is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 10:38
  #2714 (permalink)  

Ich bin ein Prooner.
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Home of the Full Monty.
Posts: 503
Dunno Slash. It's starting to give me the heebie-jeebies! I'm off!
Noah Zark. is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 11:04
  #2715 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: US
Posts: 120
I forgot my glasses.

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.

I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business.I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said, "Are you nuts? You 're almost 72 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week." I told her.




She fainted.




Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.



screwballburling is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 13:57
  #2716 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: on the beach
Age: 63
Posts: 2,022
NEWSFLASH

Arsenal FC announce profits of 17.8M

An open top bus parade for their accountants has been organised for the end of the season.
Evanelpus is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 21:01
  #2717 (permalink)  

Ich bin ein Prooner.
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Home of the Full Monty.
Posts: 503
Tony Blair and David Cameron somehow ended up at the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Blair in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Blair was quick to stop him jokingly saying, "No thanks, my wife,Cherie, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Cameron and said, "How about you" Mr.Cameron?"

Cameron replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like".
Noah Zark. is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 21:29
  #2718 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 560
Is this turning into a competition for the oldest joke?
oxenos is online now  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 21:41
  #2719 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
Bloke goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my bum."

Doctors say "Drop your pants, bend over and let have a look".

Hell!!" says the doctor "What could have made a hole as big as that?"

Patient replies "I was shagged by an elephant".

Doctor says "...But an elephant's penis is long and thin. This hole is
positively enormous!".

Patient replies "He fingered me first."
Slasher is offline  
Old 5th Mar 2013, 21:41
  #2720 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Surreal
Age: 50
Posts: 69
@oxenos

Give us a new one.

Last edited by Mike X; 5th Mar 2013 at 21:42.
Mike X is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.