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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 24th Jan 2013, 16:40
  #2401 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: avro country
Age: 69
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A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous.
A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?"
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers,
"Um, I think you'll find it's pronounced 'quiche'."
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 19:46
  #2402 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Posts: 344
Linedog,
that joke was old when Al Gore was the "bloke", must have been at least 16 years ago!!
Sorry,
f
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 19:50
  #2403 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
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So how do I send God a "friend" request again?
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 20:15
  #2404 (permalink)  
 
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So how do I send God a "friend" request again?
Prayer. It predates tech toys.
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 20:29
  #2405 (permalink)  
 
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Prayer. It predates tech toys.
Like ................................
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 22:17
  #2406 (permalink)  
 
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 22:18
  #2407 (permalink)  
 
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It could be that prayer is a more reliable communication technique than tech toys.....
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 22:31
  #2408 (permalink)  
 
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It could be that prayer is a more reliable communication technique than tech toys.....
Used for centuries, needs no batteries, used on airplanes to assist takeoff or landing, doesn't interfere with aircraft equipment.
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 23:19
  #2409 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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and not under the control of Bill Gates

( is it ? )
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Old 24th Jan 2013, 23:30
  #2410 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Wanna Be Up There...
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Prayer. It predates tech toys.
It could be that prayer is a more reliable communication technique than tech toys...
Well at least these comments are in the correct thread. This sort of stuff does make me smile (and shake my head).
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 00:07
  #2411 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
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It ain't exactly communication unless the dude at the other end replies.
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 01:20
  #2412 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?
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Mail's just in.....

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Old 25th Jan 2013, 01:26
  #2413 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Dark side of the moon
Age: 57
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Young bloke saves for a couple of weeks to take his girlfriend out to dinner.
Picks her up at her mum's place on the night.
At dinner he is surprised when the girl orders all the most expensive items on the menu.
Eventually he asks her " do you eat like this at your mum's"
"No" she says, "but mum isn't expecting a root after dinner"
"have dessert" he says.
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 08:46
  #2414 (permalink)  
Just another erk
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Germany
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Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some ammo loads for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.After a long period of silence she finally speaks: “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married, I think it’s time you quit hunting, shooting, hand loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat.” Tim gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?” ”There for a minute, you were sounding like my ex-wife.” “Ex wife!” she screams. “I didn’t know you were married before!”

”I wasn’t.”

Last edited by ArthurR; 25th Jan 2013 at 08:48.
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 09:21
  #2415 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
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Used for centuries, needs no batteries, used on airplanes to assist takeoff or landing, doesn't interfere with aircraft equipment.
But, just like the tech toys, there are too many problems caused by different operating systems!
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 09:29
  #2416 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
What a mod does to me occasionally....


Last edited by Slasher; 25th Jan 2013 at 20:57. Reason: Sallyanne's post below
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 09:58
  #2417 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
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Are you sure that's not the Mods doing that? Your last post didn't stay up very long!
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 12:07
  #2418 (permalink)  
Guest
 
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Not under the control of Bill Gates ?

But since October 5th 2011, probably under the control of Steve Jobs !
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Old 25th Jan 2013, 17:27
  #2419 (permalink)  
 
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Scottish ingenuity

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Old 25th Jan 2013, 17:35
  #2420 (permalink)  

More than just an ATCO
 
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That's sinister. What about the left footers?
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