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PC rules, even for the fish!

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PC rules, even for the fish!

Old 18th Mar 2008, 23:34
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PC rules, even for the fish!

I live in a working watermill. Fixed it myself during the 15 years since
I retired from 747s. Mill saws logs and generates electricity. The river used to be polluted with farm effluent, but now has salmon after I conducted a stick & carrot approach to my farming neighbours. So there I am with a working mill, a lovely clean river, lots of fish, and otters, and all mostly due to my own efforts.
Along come the Environment Agency. They see the nice clean river and fish, but can't find any Lamprey (a kind of eel like fish) Therefore my mill must be damaging the river environment which is against something called the "Habitats Directive" So they want me to stop using the water, and may try to shut down the mill. Never mind renewable energy, never mind a family living simply without using up lots of oil, the bl...dy fish must not be disturbed.
Sometimes this country makes me want to
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Old 18th Mar 2008, 23:42
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Since the demise of our manufacturing sector the powers that be had to create a whole new line of work for the little Hitlers who would have normally been middle management, foremen, time and motion bods in our factories and ship yards,hence the Environment Agency and the rest of the similar ilk.
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Old 18th Mar 2008, 23:45
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Perhaps you could point out to them that people can die from a surfeit of lampreys!

Cheers

Whirls
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Old 18th Mar 2008, 23:53
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Well another bunch of officials came by last year and listed the place. Its now a grade II working watermill. Perhaps I can get both groups to have a duel on the lawn
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 00:09
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Perhaps I can get both groups to have a duel on the lawn
Salmon call? Swordfish at dawn, gentlemen?

Yippee, fish puns are BACK!

Sorry, I'm just LamPPRuNe'ing
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 00:16
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Of course one could always buy a few live Lampreys and install em surreptitiously in ones mill race and video em sucking the life blood out of some poor Salmon, that would **** em.
Horrible critter is yer Lamprey.
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 02:42
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Originally Posted by vee-tail-1
Well another bunch of officials came by last year and listed the place. Its now a grade II working watermill. Perhaps I can get both groups to have a duel on the lawn
You could have them do it weekly, and charge admittance to local folk. After all, the mostly spotted bureaucrat isn't endangered, in fact numbers seem to be at record highs. Time for a cull?
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 06:58
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Ah, the Yellow Striped Bureaucrat. Hardly worth hunting as they put up no fight and just dig in behind a brigade of lawyers and a fortress of paperwork. They're nothing but vermin so burning down their habitat and clubbing the survivors back into the flames as they run out screaming, is good for the environment.
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 06:58
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The duel sounds like a wonderful idea, but the mind boggles as to what would be their weapon of choice....

guns and blades are terribly dangerous things don'tcha know?!
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 07:08
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what would be their weapon of choice....
Red tape.


Lots of it.

(They'd probably enjoy being tied up and gagged, but that's another story)
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 07:28
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Word association for civil serpents.


"Habitats Directive" / Environment Agency / cess pit.


Aren't otters carniverous btw ? Just a passing thought.
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 07:41
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Horrible critter is yer Lamprey.
However, they are quite tasty!

From Wiki:

King Henry I of England is said to have died from eating "a surfeit of lampreys" [5]. On 4th March 1953 the Queen was made a coronation pie using lampreys by the Royal Air Force
Apologies for near aviation content.
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 09:25
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Clearly, their motive is fishy!
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 09:37
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Hmnn.. we are directly underneath the Brecon / Strumble G1 airway. Perhaps it should be diverted in case airliners upset the Lampreys. On the other hand whats the regs about unqualified Lampreys in controlled airspace.
Just knew PPRuNers would cheer me up
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 12:37
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Ah! nostalgia: Green One. Those were the days.

Is the argument that the poor fishies are being mangled in the mill race? A wire mesh screen at the entry point might shut the meddlers up, although clearing it of debris would be a full time job.
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 12:40
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This is how they should be treating each other.

Ozzy
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 12:56
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For goodness hake, Ozzy, you posted that just for the halibut didn't you?

No use carping about the situation, vee-tail, one of these dace they'll debait the issue in a civilised manner instead of floundering around whiting for something to happen.

Tell them how you feel. Don't be koi.
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 13:08
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 13:19
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Nice picture Tony, I see a condom in a silver cage and a gauge behind that says "Stop".

Seriously, is the Lamprey historically proven to be a natural inhabitant of your piece of water VEE Tail?
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Old 19th Mar 2008, 13:49
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They were the sole inhabitants of the plaice but being hard of herring they coddn't sense natural predators.
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