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How Does Your Garden Grow?

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How Does Your Garden Grow?

Old 13th Aug 2006, 07:18
  #1 (permalink)  

Eight Gun Fighter
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Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Western Approaches
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How Does Your Garden Grow?

I've got some pots on a windowsill. Garlic, Parsley, Chives. Not a very big garden but they all do well. How's yours doing?

Of course I've got the back forty in peaches and cream corn and beefsteak and heirloom tomatoes. Just kidding. I think I want to be a gentleman farmer.....with a steam engine.

Last edited by Rollingthunder; 13th Aug 2006 at 07:30.
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 07:44
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Seems to be a good year for tomatoes,mine are producing many trusses but one suffers from the same prob every year, they refue to turn red.
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 07:50
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Not enough sun?
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 08:31
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Originally Posted by tony draper
Seems to be a good year for tomatoes,mine are producing many trusses but one suffers from the same prob every year, they refue to turn red.
I have the same problem but I believe the solution is to feed them twice a week at this stage, so I am trying that at the moment.
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 09:17
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My sweetcorn are lofting a bit. Reckon they is going to have to be eaten.
The down side of this is that dey is best with butter.
Owing to drought, the runner and other beans are not so prolific.
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 10:44
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I've got plenty of Gorse bush if anyone wants a cutting. God knows it does.

Tomatoes are coming on just fine. Also trying chillies, which are looking dubious.
B*stard pheashants ate the herbs in the pots.
country bumpkin
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 11:36
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My toms (greenhouse ones) have been turning red for a month now , no probs. What you can try is putting a ripe one near the biggest green ones as the gasses given off will start them turning

Gorse bushes are nice but get stragely very quickly, don't bother with cuttings just dig up a few of the dozens of seedlings that usually grow around them
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 12:10
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My garden (front & back) specialises in brambles - if anyone fancies a load of raspberries, you're welcome!

Some are about 12 feet high though, so bring a stepladder.
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 14:37
  #9 (permalink)  
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how does your garden grow

Jalapeno peppers, what the hell did I grow these for? dozens of them, impossible to eat
Carrots are doing well though..........
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 22:13
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I've got a melon plant in a pot and it has two baby melons on it so far. I also have a tomato "Pixie" and a capsicum (pepper) which is growing something which looks suspiciously like several chillis. They are all growing in my attic. The garden is very small and mostly paved with a few fragrant plants in the borders and a multitude of baby frogs in the recycled bath which passes for a pond.
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Old 13th Aug 2006, 22:15
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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Originally Posted by tart1
I have the same problem but I believe the solution is to feed them twice a week at this stage, so I am trying that at the moment.
I had the same idea, but they just aren't eating!

They even turned down the prime fillet steaks.

And it says on the packet they are beef tomatoes too!
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Old 14th Aug 2006, 08:32
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Nothing that is wanted is growing in our garden this year, but the plan is in place to make an allotment type area for next spring. Hopefully, we will have a load of home grown veg to munch on this time next year (all assuming that next doors garden does not perpetrate a hostile takeover in the meantime!)
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Old 14th Aug 2006, 09:49
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A little solution to the pheasant problem.

Soak some raisins in brandy and then leave them out in a bowl. Pheasants come along, spy said raisins and eat them up. Pheasant gets pissed and due to the small brain, collapse in a drunken heap. You then come along, pick them up and get them ready for the pot!

Or so I'm told
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Old 14th Aug 2006, 10:05
  #14 (permalink)  
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wasn't that a scene in the book "Danny, champion of the world" bu Roald Dahl? My befuddled mind vaguely recollects reading the thing about the raisins before.
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Old 14th Aug 2006, 11:31
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I'm more likely to eat the raisins myself to blot out the garden nightmare.
As for the pond, I know there's water in there, but I can't see it because of the pond weed.
lawnmower - broke, getting repaired
strimmer - broke, getting repaired
Brambles - laughing and growing at an unexplained rate.

Idiot dog shares the same water bowl with the pheasants. Hunting dog my @rse.

Got some nice dandelions.

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Old 14th Aug 2006, 11:37
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Another fine crop of dandelions this year.

The hot spell has baked our fine clay-based tilth to resemble case-hardened concrete, so apart from the weeds, very little is growing.
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Old 14th Aug 2006, 13:05
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Hi All,

Been meaning to write an update with regards to the progress in my garden, so this thread's as good a place as any.


If you recall, I had a rampant dandelion problem in my lawn; twas hard to see if any sprigs of grass were popping out between dandelion plants. Even thistles had to ask the dandelions permission to grow, and leave was rarely given. I was advised in these very hallowed halls to try glysophate, and being (a) lazy and (b) vindictive to all weeds and (c) casual with the environment, I bought a couple of those handheld spray things at the local gardening centre, and let rip.

Yee haa! Die you motherfcukers...!

One week later, apart from the odd yellow leaf, most of the dandelions remained hale and hearty. The basturds. The following week, the remaining dandelion leaves finally turned black, as did the little remaining grass. A week or so after that, and my lawn was dotted with two foot wide circles of devastation, in which nowt grew. Nothing green at all. Not an ant crossed these patches of no man's land. Birds stopped singing, women wept, and old men averted their eyes.


Basically, my first foray into chemical warfare was about as effective as Agent Orange: a wee bit of collateral damage.

And then green shoots reappeared! A miracle! Yea, for verily the earth spouted forth life! Erm, dandelion leaves. Yep, the bloody roots were alive and kicking underground, waiting for their revenge on my crappy sodding efforts.

And so it remained for a month or so; dandelion trees surrounded by earth scorched clear of grass.

Soooooo, two weekends ago I spent what felt like an eternity on my knees digging dandelion roots out of my lawn by hand. And bejesus (there's that religious thing again) the buggahs were coming up like carrots. I filled up a a couple of large containers, and still more were coming out of the ground. And then down went the instant grass seed, and just this morning I was admiring what looks remarkably like a proper lawn. There's a bit more to be done, probably chips of missed roots sprouting yet more dandelion leaves, like some sort of persistent vampire weed, but the back of the job's broken now.

Two backs, 'cos mine's just about fcuked for one lifetime.


And on to the next subject: the bit of garden at the front.

Well, in front of the house there's a 5m by 10m area devoted entirely to shrubs and flowers and stuff. And I had to admit when we moved in (a couple of years ago) that while at least 80% of that was nice stuff, the remaining 20% was weeds. Well, Frau Capucho took umbrage at the 20% and unilaterally (i.e. over my dead body, against my direct advice/pleadings/screams/threats) called in the most expensive fcuking landscape gardener in the immediate area. The immediate area being (arguably) the most expensive fcuking Gemeinde in the most expensive fcuking Kanton in Switzerland, in turn the most expensive fcuking country in Europe.

She pointed at 20% weed matter, and demanded its removal, cost no object.

Needless to say, a rather large bill was presented for my attention at the end of it all. Although I was understandably too distracted by the circa 50% reduction in plant matter in said front garden area to give it much thought. Yep, all I could see was the black, fruitful soil that was going to fill in minutes with weeds kindly donated by the surrounding agricultural environment. All I could focus on was that my workload in the garden had roughly quadrupled in one fell swoop.

Still, I love my wife, so I didn't rip her head off. And two years have passed now, so it's all history. And she learned from this, didn't she? Nah, couldn't possibly happen again.

She did it again 4 weeks ago.

Only this time I'm left with about 30% of the original plant mass. The weeds have almost filled the gaps in the intervening few weeks. I am now a slave to the bloody garden.

Next time I'll coat her in honey and bury her up to her neck in the ants nest that lives there.

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Old 14th Aug 2006, 13:18
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got brocolli and cauliflowers growing out front, been a bit too hot for the cauliflowers and they're having problems forming florettes, the brocolli is a bit more hardy in the heat and that's doing fine if it wasn't for the rabbits attacking some of them

Also got rosemary, sage and basil growing a bit further along and at the other side of the house we have some mint growing which sprouts up fine, have to keep it under control as it has the tendancy to take other the plot.
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Old 14th Aug 2006, 13:20
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Northern Ireland
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I've been scarred by war.
The war against the gorse. It was a dawn raid.. myself and a pal made the first assault. The casualties were appaling. Mostly our forearms. Lack of communication meant that I fell victim to friendly fire. I had a big bit cut on top of me.
We regrouped, and after a frank and brief discussion decided that 'dropping that [email protected] branch on my [email protected] head wasn't too smart'.
Continued cutting... for two days.

The flipping things are growing back.

The dandelions are quite pretty though, loads of butterflies.
tell anyone that and I'll kill ya
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Old 14th Aug 2006, 13:27
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Join Date: Oct 2005
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And there I was, thinking that a gardening thread could not be fun. Foss and Tricky Woo, thanks for the entertaining posts!
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