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Thursday's Joke - Accept All Substitutes!

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Thursday's Joke - Accept All Substitutes!

Old 12th May 2005, 20:29
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ireland
Age: 39
Posts: 338
Talking Thursday's Joke - Accept All Substitutes!

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."
"That's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail again and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

Coat... window...
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Old 12th May 2005, 20:57
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Not Telling!
Posts: 161
A woman tries her skill at golf. Her first shot ends up deep in the rough. While searching for the ball, she gets a horrible case of poison ivy. After several weeks of recovery, she gives it another try, and again her first shot ends up in the rough. This time, while looking for the ball, she steps on a sharp, metal object and requires several stitches.
Refusing to give up, she goes back out the next day. Once again, her first shot sails off into the rough. While digging around for her ball, she gets stung by a wasp. Furious, she storms back to the club house, where she vows never to play the game again.
The golf pro, upon hearing her announcement, tries to offer comfort.
"Don't you think you're over-reacting?" he asks.
"Every time I hit the ball, it goes in the rough, and then something terrible happens!" she shouts.
"I'll bet there's something in your technique that I could change with a few suggestions and you'd be fine", he consoles her.
"Oh yeah? Well I just got stung by a wasp! What could you possibly say that could have prevented that?" she asks angrily.
"Where did you get stung?" he inquires.
"Between the first and second holes", she snaps.
"See there", he responds, "Your stance is too wide."
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