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PPRUNE - the novel

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PPRUNE - the novel

Old 29th Mar 2005, 19:55
  #1 (permalink)  
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PPRUNE - the novel

Given that a number of would be novellists are using PPRuNe to gain inside knowledge I thought we could start a novel on PPRuNe, the rules are each person should add no more than 100 words each time and it should follow on (like consequences).

Here's the start....

The full moon was still high in the sky when Bill carefully closed his front door. He was thinking of Jo, still snuggled up in bed upstairs, as his feet crunched on the gravel path. He cursed under his breath as he realised he’d have to scrape the ice off the windscreen. Fortunately the MG started first time and having scraped enough ice to allow him to see through the windscreen, Bill jumped in and set off in the direction of the M11, just managing to avoid the neighbour’s Siamese who had decided to cross the road at that moment….

Last edited by brabazon; 29th Mar 2005 at 20:07.
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Old 29th Mar 2005, 20:12
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..and then the Mods moved this to Jetblast.
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Old 29th Mar 2005, 20:19
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1. Since when did an MG ever start first time?
2. How did Bill manage to start it before 'jumping in'?
3. If it was that cold and icy, no self-respecting Siamoggie would be out of the house! They're not that stupid.
4. Was Bill too stupid to NB the forecast if he was going to need his car so early?
5. Or too mean to afford a garage rather than wasting money on a gravel path? And why not wear shoes to avoid his feet having to crunch on the gravel?
6. Why did he allow Jo to stay snoring in her pit rather than slapping her on the bum before saying something endearing like "Tea, white, one. Right now, bitch!"?
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Old 29th Mar 2005, 20:24
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The cat hissed as it sprung to life, five down only four to go, she would have to be more careful in future. It was quiet again, the cloak of darkness pressing down once more. The street seemed the same as it ever had though over fifty years had passed since the first house had been rebuilt to replace five hundred years of history that had been wiped out in one hour in 1943.

The curtain was quickly drawn to prevent the light escaping into the inky darkness.........
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Old 29th Mar 2005, 20:52
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And in that inky darkness, he fired up his computer.

Logging on to his favorite webshite, PPRuNe, he saw that all his sad mates were ther too starting to write a drivel - sorry, novel. And he started to type...

Eeeks! Said the man! Those Siamese twins were nearly knocked over by that MG that didn\'t start first time.

Oh no! screeched the PPruner - I\'ve made a minor grammatical error that has condemed my twin brothers to death. Because I didn\'t distinguish between siamese twins and a siamese cat I will have pedantic ppruners on my back for a year and more.... sob....sob.... sob....

His tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought to himself "How crap are Ryanair\'s T&Cs and how can I slag off BA in any way possible?"

Maybe, he thought, just maybe, I could set up a website that will forever be full of not just poo, but novel poo.....
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Old 29th Mar 2005, 21:05
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Danger BEagle - give over lad - its only a story

Once on the M11, Bill switched the heater and fan to full blast, but to little avail. 'MG's' he swore, holding his right hand on the windscreen, forlornly hoping that body warmth would enlarge his view. After a minute or two he gave up, tucking his frozen hand under his left armpit to warm.

He was cutting check-in very close already, but he knew the dangers of such awful wintery conditions. There are no old bold pilots he reminded himself, realising that it really was not his day. Then he saw the flashing blue lights closing fast from behind....
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Old 29th Mar 2005, 21:06
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The tapping of the keyboard soothed his anally compulsive character. Tap taptap tap tap tap taptap tap taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap backspace backspace backspace tap pause tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap taptap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap taptap taptap tap tap tap taptap

Understanding as he did, the power of paragraphs to hold his readers' attention, he surrendered to his rythm tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap

Finally his work was done and slipping it into his briefcase, he felt sure that today, he'd finally remember to call the plumber.
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Old 29th Mar 2005, 21:52
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and that, children, is what led to the great Bandwidth Crisis of 2005
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 01:12
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And I thought I'd come up with a novel response
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 03:00
  #10 (permalink)  
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a small green thing with a lump on the end? or was that lemon curry?
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 11:07
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found it in another thread!
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 11:37
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Jo rolled over in the bed, her arm outstretched and instead of feeling empty cooling sheets she touched warm satin smooth skin. She curled her arm around the muscular chest and drew herself instinctively closer.

All of a sudden the realisation that Bill had left for work, hit her and she smiled contently as she knew this was the lover in her life who had waited patiently for him to leave in the freezing morning air and let himself in through the kitchen door while Bill left throught the front door.

She touched his face still cooled by the outside air and he stirred towards her..............
 
Old 30th Mar 2005, 13:53
  #13 (permalink)  
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Hey, I think I have read this book already.
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 17:42
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Watching from a quiet vantage point the Siamese gracefully flicked a scrap of dirt from her manicured paw. Such a shame they would all say--such a tragic loss--those brakes on the MG were never up to much and in those conditions and the speed he was travelling, well what else could you expect. And poor Jo, how would she manage without the love of her life.The one she adored. The Siamese purred. All those years of beng kicked out in the cold, all the comments about the stupid cat and Bills's disdain for anything that could not be explained in purely scientific terms. Jo smiled as the soft lips kissed her own and the delicate aroma of Chanel filled her senses. The lovers embrace escalated into unbridled passion. Bill had been so easy really, He had signed the will months before of course--and only that evening he had ridiculed the concept of shape shift................

Last edited by Krystal n chips; 30th Mar 2005 at 19:15.
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 18:34
  #15 (permalink)  

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....miss whiplash and her green thing with a lump on the end beat the siamese round the head and nicked the mg, obviously they didn't get far.......
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 19:55
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Reeooow. Reeeeeeeeooooooow. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssss. Reeeeeeeeoooooooooooooowwww.. Hiiiiiissssssssssss.
*swish swipe* Hiiiisssssssssssss.
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Old 30th Mar 2005, 20:02
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dratted car radio's flicked again, she thought

(parental discretion language filter on 'high')

Last edited by answer=42; 30th Mar 2005 at 20:28.
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Old 1st Apr 2005, 01:56
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Vernon thought it was a dream, or was it a bird, maybe......a plane.

Vernon could not tell. He was sure of the dank, moldy aroma of oiled rubber and burnt wax....those he was certain, but the inky blackness made his mind hungar for more sensory input......

.....Vernon felt trapped, he felt torn, no....no....it was more like....tugged...yea....tugged between two forces....good and evil......he felt torn between finishing the sentence, or contributing to the novel. He knew of one item that had crept into this area of confusion. The small green thing with a lump on the end.......it first appeared way back on the 2nd of October, 2004, on page 259 of the finish the sentence thread in it's infant form as the aromatic wiff of blue goo with green lumpy brown bits poking out.......then it was transformed into it's better known form by Richo77 on the same page as.....a small green thing with a lump on the end.........whatever shall we think of next.......
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Old 1st Apr 2005, 07:47
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A ship appeared on the horizon; the decks bereft of any mortal form.

"Look!" Cried Jo. But her lover's warm breath teased her gaze down from the observation window; the thoughts of another Marie Celeste lost for the moment.

The muffled reply came at last. "Mook at wab?"

"Oh...oh.......OH, a ship. There! On the horizon."

Her lover reluctantly eased himself up on his elbows.

"Ooooh yeeees...so there is." He licked his lips. "Strange that...no chance of a cup of tea I suppose?"

Jo looked at him angrily, his simple-mindedness would have normally have amused her, but for some reason, at this moment, it irritated her. "Tea??!! Now??!!...it's not every day that you see a sight like this."

"No." Her lover said quietly, his eyes shutting as he slumped back. "Especially as we're 30 miles inland."

She sat bolt upright and thrust the sheets between her legs. "There's no pleasing some people. I think you should leave."

"Okay." he replied, reaching for his pants. "Can I borrow the MG?"

"No you bloody can't...and anyway it's been stolen...AND...it comes from a different chapter."

"Oh." he said softly, and after a moments thought. "Can I stroke your pussy (N America- kitty) before I go?"

"No. It's been run over."

In the next moment something happened that--in normal perceived reality--could not be explained. The MG, its tires leaving black arcs in the gravel, crunched to a standstill outside the front door. This would have been strange enough, but the plot thickened at this moment, as it was being driven by the Siamese cat.

"What's that smell of oiled rubber and burnt wax?" Her lover asked.
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Old 1st Apr 2005, 11:32
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"That's me burning this effin book. It's nearly as crap as that never ending bloody sentence idea"

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