Boeing Fat News
 

Dear Chief,

I have noticed over the last year or so that quite a number of the older pilots, mainly CN’s, became fat. They seems to think its ok to turn up with a few stones too many and pretending it is normal.

I had one CN turn up and to be honest my 84 year old aunt had a smaller arse, which is a remarkable achievement if you knew my aunt. He looked a mess.

I’m wondering if it is time to crack down on this sort of thing. What if we have to evacuate and they go first and then get stuck in the hatch?

Many a time I get senior crew members with too tight shirts, assuming they have not yet realised their body shape change and now end up with shirts 3 sizes too small. What if the shirt bursts?

When I joined I would never have turned up for work like this. I was made abundantly clear that you turned up in shape and smartly attired. You always brought your jacket and made sure you were able to close the buttons without looking like a sausage. Not these days it seems.

Chief,mate. What do you about this? Do I tell them to take it easy with the nuts and the bacon or do I refer the matter to you? Or am I expecting too much of the “old fart” generation?

STW,

Excellent, next a dieting and shaving newsletter.:}

STW

Out of curiosity did you councel your Aunt about her arse?

Fortunately for me, all my excess goes strait to my d@#k!!

unshaven, body odour, halitosis, overweight and long hair, could be one of many capts,

take care or a sexist lawsuit beckons

And not just the males....

Sam Ting Definitely Wong

Thank you for the heads up.

You will probably find that there are some whose dress and personal hygiene is very much more in keeping with the general state of the company than others. Let's just refer to them as trend setters.

My epaulettes are older than the oldest aircraft in the fleet by a country mile and have inadvertently been through the washing machine a couple of times but they can still function. Leave the old farts alone, they haven't bent any of the hardware, they are just tired worn out and disillusioned.

Standard issue of hair gel and underarm deodorant is all that is required to boost morale until the Illy takes effect.

Super Fragile Indian Mystic aka @

Apparently some folks haven't developed the SA to figure out that some of us aren't fat, we just have to wrap our d@ck around our waist twice to get around in public.

So I'm gonna be "that guy"

Relative to the statistical spread for the specific age slice there are guys above and below the bell curve comfort zone in the older CX generations and also... in the younger CX generations. (You know who you are, in all brackets).

BUT:- Whilst we do have the odd aging tramp, shuffling around dispatch, there is a massively disproportionate number of Gen Y'ers vs Gen X'ers (and beyond) who voluntarily pitch up looking like Hot **** for a builder drinking diet Coke wearing Lynx in a Levis Ad, but not like a Professional Airline Pilot. It's the job:-

PASSENGERS have an image of the men and women they want, and really need, and pay, to trust.

YOU wish to be respected and trusted by those people.

Fulfill their expectations, earn their respect, it's about you, (nothing to do with your Capt or Fleet Office.)

That's exactly it in one post...... You said what we 'old curmudgeon' we're thinking but couldn't explain.

It's like trying to explain women to a 10 year old.

The benefit of experience.

Come on guys, STW's post was hilarious.
And not meant to be taken seriously, I am sure.

Haven't you read the latest newsletter?

I guess they haven't read the newsletter. STW is taking the pi$$!

As a regualr passenger whata laugh this thread is

We pax like a couple of things about pilots

1 they should for a start be quite 'old'. that shows they have managed to stay away from trouble for 25 odd years and know what they are doing.

2. Looking a bit comfotably built means they are careful responsible people with kids and a labrador dog at home and havent been up all night sh===ing the trolley dolls.

3. grey hair good-geled hair (very) bad

Have fun

I have to say some on this thread have no sense of humour (probably missing braincells due fatigue).:D

I would love to see the Boeing Newsletter to see where this spoof thread came from. (At least copy and paste the paragraph).

It appears the Boeing newsletter is filled with the same old nonsensical bollox as Le Doughnut or whatever its called. I can't keep up with all the amazing names of communication - Friday flyer, baguette, the Tech. Its all too much.

Btw, is the Airbus fleet office trying to break the record of how many NTCs they can publish in one month?

Betpump
Just look it up on intraccx! When you do, you'll see how funny the original post is.

And as for staying up all night sh**ing the cabin crew.......in CX? That's really funny too!

On another thread the discussion centered around TOOLS in aviation.......the Capt who wrote the Dear Gus letter surely qualifies in spades to be Tool of the month.....with all the crap wrong with CX why get antsy antsy about a 3 day growth that some people front up with.....and STW's p*take is on the money. I do remember a photo of Thick Rick once upon a time looking very shabby without CX belts and generally unkept.

The senior brigade are not exactly shining examples of sharp dressers or grooming and I admit I winced somewhat that that letter was even considered to be put in a newsletter and it was a bad call IMHO.

Unless you can boil the water, don't shave in China.

Funniest thread I've read here for ages... Thanks.