Firm grip of the non-essential
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Home
Posts: 142
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Fond memories of a no longer checking exSTC
STC
"Right, this is your proficiency check, outside tolerances and you FAIL"
"More than allowable swing for V1 cut and you FAIL"
"Speed plus 5 minus 0 or you FAIL"
"Missed app initiated instantaneously or you FAIL"
"Eng A/I not selected off at after T/O checklist or you FAIL"
"Rudder centered/not centered (can't remember which) for landing or you FAIL"
And so it went on.........
Me
"Umm, sorry to ask but as per vol 7 aren't these repeat items if outside tolerances?"
STC
"Nope, my checking, my way"
I think I counted he used the word FAIL 12 times in the initial brief before the PC.
Happy days
STC
"Right, this is your proficiency check, outside tolerances and you FAIL"
"More than allowable swing for V1 cut and you FAIL"
"Speed plus 5 minus 0 or you FAIL"
"Missed app initiated instantaneously or you FAIL"
"Eng A/I not selected off at after T/O checklist or you FAIL"
"Rudder centered/not centered (can't remember which) for landing or you FAIL"
And so it went on.........
Me
"Umm, sorry to ask but as per vol 7 aren't these repeat items if outside tolerances?"
STC
"Nope, my checking, my way"
I think I counted he used the word FAIL 12 times in the initial brief before the PC.
Happy days
- On the overhead panel on this A (any Airbus) what do the small blue '+' symbols mean that appear to be painted on
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: USA/EU
Posts: 114
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Thanks for the good laugh boys. Priceless stuff. Are you guys in AQP ? I can honestly say the last two years I actually feel I walked out of the school house feeling a better pilot. No more BS stuff.
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Honkers
Posts: 377
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"Who told you to tie a knot in the plastic bag? It's not SOP"
Neither is having a plastic bag in the flight deck, or not tying a knot is not SOP.
We really have some door knobs flying at CX.
I like the one about not putting your feet on the, wait for it..... "foot rests".
If some of this sounds like what you say on the flight deck, please go away and take a hard, long look at yourself!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ask Crew Control
Age: 47
Posts: 268
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The best thing about this thread is I don't feel so alone anymore and realize even worse **** goes on. Was once asked why I hadn't torn the front page of the CFP off (very annoying 747 thing) and folded it properly ? I laughed and said "why do you want to rip it off" but soon realized he wasn't joking!! My favorite comment in one of my ERAS reports dates back to when I was doing my LUFUS :-
"Landing was smooth on centerline and in touchdown zone however told FO xxx that flare was totally insufficient for landing at 280 tones even though on this sector the landing weight was 220 tones"
The Cav
"Landing was smooth on centerline and in touchdown zone however told FO xxx that flare was totally insufficient for landing at 280 tones even though on this sector the landing weight was 220 tones"
The Cav
You could always record some of our finest Sim Checkers on a discrete iPhone and take the resulting evidence to the Fleet office or better, the CAD. Good luck with the rest of your career, however, which is the air that allows these people to breathe and continue the abuse.
Needs some proper Leadership which is another problem.
12 mentions of the word FAIL and I would be tempted to question the mindset of the STC there and then. That is highly unusual, threatening and not acceptable.
Needs some proper Leadership which is another problem.
12 mentions of the word FAIL and I would be tempted to question the mindset of the STC there and then. That is highly unusual, threatening and not acceptable.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Haha! This is a hilarious thread! 
This is from one check ride.
Checker: "Why did you ask the co-pilot if he is ready for take-off before commencing the take-off?!"
Me: "(Amazed) I thought it to be good CRM to make sure that we both are mentally prepared for this take-off"
Checker: "There is no such thing in SOP to ask the co-pilot about readiness for the take-off"
Me: Ok. (Cursing in my mind..)
The same checker asked about 100 nitpicking questions before a check. The crew only answered couple of questions wrong. The checker replied that this oral examination is not going too good.
This is from one check ride.
Checker: "Why did you ask the co-pilot if he is ready for take-off before commencing the take-off?!"
Me: "(Amazed) I thought it to be good CRM to make sure that we both are mentally prepared for this take-off"
Checker: "There is no such thing in SOP to ask the co-pilot about readiness for the take-off"
Me: Ok. (Cursing in my mind..)
The same checker asked about 100 nitpicking questions before a check. The crew only answered couple of questions wrong. The checker replied that this oral examination is not going too good.
Max speed for windscreen wiper?
It's about 180 strokes a minute !!!(Boeings anyway !1)
Geez, never heard such crass, pointless and irrelevant questions on my entire career !
What the hell is going on in CX and why are these idiots appointed to training in the first place ?? What do they think they are achieving ?
But its not just CX. In my BA days (where there were lot of good trainers, some not so good but OK, ) I flew with a U/T training captain, on (his) final check out with a management pilot. He was HOPELESS, truly hopeless and totally clueless as to what was required on a base training session.
I knew I had not done well and after his dreadful debrief I was so angry I told him exactly what I though of his performance. (I had had a lot of training experience in the RAF as a QFI) He was non plussed to say the least, and I expected a P45 job. After his departure I was summoned into the flight manager's office for a "chat". He agreed with everything I said, he had failed this would be T/C told me not to worry and do the trip again next week, which went swimmingly. That was in 1975 but still remember it so clearly.
Common sense CAN prevail.
It's about 180 strokes a minute !!!(Boeings anyway !1)
Geez, never heard such crass, pointless and irrelevant questions on my entire career !
What the hell is going on in CX and why are these idiots appointed to training in the first place ?? What do they think they are achieving ?
But its not just CX. In my BA days (where there were lot of good trainers, some not so good but OK, ) I flew with a U/T training captain, on (his) final check out with a management pilot. He was HOPELESS, truly hopeless and totally clueless as to what was required on a base training session.
I knew I had not done well and after his dreadful debrief I was so angry I told him exactly what I though of his performance. (I had had a lot of training experience in the RAF as a QFI) He was non plussed to say the least, and I expected a P45 job. After his departure I was summoned into the flight manager's office for a "chat". He agreed with everything I said, he had failed this would be T/C told me not to worry and do the trip again next week, which went swimmingly. That was in 1975 but still remember it so clearly.
Common sense CAN prevail.
All very funny and sad at the same time......
However fellas I can honestly say that in 20 years I've only had 2 line checks where dumb questions were asked and honestly most of the time hardly any questions were asked at all...
Maybe I'm lucky or had good checkers!!
Either way I hope it continues that way for a bit longer....
However fellas I can honestly say that in 20 years I've only had 2 line checks where dumb questions were asked and honestly most of the time hardly any questions were asked at all...
Maybe I'm lucky or had good checkers!!
Either way I hope it continues that way for a bit longer....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: HKG
Posts: 187
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Doing an IF renewal with the Screaming Skull- best nickname ever! - I get briefed before hand that he is there as a representative of the CAD and as a checker only and not to expect any help or inputs from him etc etc. You all know the little spiel they give before all checkrides.
Then he tells me what to do throughout the whole ride and writes me up for resisting his training inputs during the check.....
Then he tells me what to do throughout the whole ride and writes me up for resisting his training inputs during the check.....
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: VHHH
Posts: 199
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Called in as a replacement FO for an STC's line check with another STC in the 3rd crew seat to being told that
Captain ZZ "it's Captain XX line check and not yours, we won't be asking you any questions"
Then getting questioned by Captain XX to which the reply was
"the answer is 'B' or 'C' if B is wrong "
After 4 or 5 questions and getting same answer, he gave up and didn't ask anymore after that.
Capt ZZ in back was quietly laughing
Captain ZZ "it's Captain XX line check and not yours, we won't be asking you any questions"
Then getting questioned by Captain XX to which the reply was
"the answer is 'B' or 'C' if B is wrong "
After 4 or 5 questions and getting same answer, he gave up and didn't ask anymore after that.
Capt ZZ in back was quietly laughing
Join Date: Nov 1998
Location: H.K
Posts: 63
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I have been lucky as really never getting asked more than what is required which is one technical question. Where is the closest H2O extinguisher. Is the usual one. Lol I use to love the humour in some of the old checkers though with questions like name 3 of the magnificent Seven etc. I said I hadn't seen the movie and he laughed and said **** you guys are to bloody young now a days..