Whirlygig

Oh Head Turner aren't we being a little petulant? There's no need to throw your teddies out the cart you know just 'cos testing was carried out without the chrome windscreen wipers.

That's the whole point of a prototype and you failed to realise that the windscreen blades are an option - it means that they can be added on but the normal basic model will not include them.

Sorry but I must defend Capt. Hollywood and the engineering design department who have worked very hard to produce this aircraft and you're behaving like a spoiled little brat!

You really are one of our most awkward customers.

Cheers

Whirls

g-mady

So thats it then were out of the job!

P45 anyone?

Capt Hollywood

I hope not G-Mady, just taking a short break as this chief designers fiance has just arrived from interstate and as I haven't seen her for two months I have more urgent matters to attend to

........see you in five!

CH

ps : Keep the ideas coming, the Mk IV awaits!!!!!!!!!!!

Whirlygig

I hope that's five hours and not five minutes!

Cheers

Whirls

Head Turner

My boss, the skinflint with the bulging pockets, has asked me to put it to the design team an inspirational idea that has exploded out of his entreprenurial brain that a 'Market Survey' in the best traditions of that discipline should have been undertaken prior to design. He's see's some $'s floating about and wants to get his sticky hands on whatever funds governmental departments and NASA could be willing to subscribe to this fantastic project.
A question for the design team. 'Funding and copyright issues are important, so what are you doing about this?
Your bean counter (who is nigling me about my teddies, and anyway how did you know about them) should have been aware of these issues.
That's my Friday afternoon go at Whirlygig and I feel beter about the weekend. 'Awkward customer indeed!!!

Overt Auk

Captain H: great design, but I've been waiting for the offshore variant. Could we have some floats please?

puntosaurus

The thing that bothers me is what Dave Jackson has been futzing around with all these years ? Here on this thread we have the best of Proon thinking churning out a design in a week.

Capt Hollywood

Overt Auk,

The emergency floats are incorporated into the undercarriage doors. This reduces parasite drag which is important if we are to reach our Vne goal of 185 KIAS.

CH

Head Turner

Capt Hollywood, dare I mention that an IFR version will be a 'must' and this will require a weather radar stitched onto the front. Please don't make it look as though it's a Friday afternoon after thought like the ugly versions on EC, Bell etc.
My boss, the skinflint with the bulging pockets is most impressed with the promise of 185 kts. This will give him that extra bonus when showing off in front of his mates (all members of the 'skinflints with bulging pockets' club).

VHAUS

Capt Hollywood,
Good to see that after all the time I've known you, your imagination hasn't run out!! Oh, and I think that the fluffy dice are a must.
Keep it up!

strickers

Great thread - thanks for this, really made my day. With regard to a bit of market research I would like to put my bid in to see the inclusion of manditory cup holders, rear-view mirror to see what is going on behind the pilots seat & jacuzzi without having to turn round and love the idea that everyone gets a window seat....

Helilover

What a fantastic thread Capt Hollywood!!

Can I make a suggestion? With the equipment levels as they are, I think I a police version should be in the pipeline. Enough room for a full Fire Arms team in the back - this could be a serious competitor in the police market!

Quote from Head Turner: "Oh and the colour reminds me of Spanish taxis."

Very true, but It's a high conspicuity colour scheme all of it's own - makes people go 'ARGHH' when they see it!!!

Just needs the word 'police' adding to the side and a Nitesun searchlight.........

Capt Hollywood

The Police version........ I'm still trying to source a weather radar Head Turner!

wishtobflying

No police helicopter could be complete without fast insertion kit .... unless this is the Commissioner's pimped up ride ... !

widgeon

One of them AWACS syle rotating radomes under the belly would be cool , you may have to increase the length of the landing gear to give enough ground clearance . An how about some Hind style weapons pylons to scare off any bad guys.

http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/a...tr-hawkeye.jpg

http://www.aeronautics.ru/img003/e3a-awacs-01.jpg

for a couple of radome ideas.

Mikester540

Damn, Those bastards at Robinson have copied the S-92!!

Head Turner

The R88 is great. The R88 has the following standard/optional extras all having CAA/FAA certificates/approvals;-


Twin PT76 with chrome exhausts,
Two bladed heavy rotor
10 place seating
Fenestron tail rotor with single horizontal stabilizer
Night Sun
Hoist
Wheeled u/c with integral floatation system
Cargo Hook
FLIR
Red anti collision light and navigation lights
Landing light with full pilot control
Blue Police Beacon
Fluffy Dice, Pink - other colours available at extra cost
All doors jetsonable
Full light weight air conditioning
High visibility colour scheme yellow/blue (no options)
Sun glass holders at every seat location
4 point harness throughout
Vanity mirrows at every seat location - lipstick holders at extra cost
Door handle warmers
Chrome windscreen wipers
Weather radar
Full avionic suite
GPS and Moving map display with monitors in seat rows 2,3,4,and 5.
Inflight entertainment DVD based
Satellite Phone
3 Axis Autopilot and SAS
Optional leather seats with lambs skin covers for pilot/co-pilot
Fully adjustable heated seats for pilot and co-pilot with inertial reel harness
Sun visors
Tinted windows in passenger doors, pilot/co-pilot doors clear with sliding panel
Boarding steps
Air Ambulance fit
Police insertion fit
Glass cockpit with NVG conpatable Instruments lighting
Torch
Cabin lighting
Automatic GPS location device for route following.

Other options available with time and customer input and Capt Hollywoods' approval

Fun Police

what about the cup and doughnut holders?

Ascend Charlie

Being tuned to the Supernatural and all, I got a message from Lu to say that the flight test must have been a failure - the blades are coning the wrong way, so the coefficient of grunge trunnion stability must have overflapped.

He didn't explain what he meant, but i am sure it is something to do with the missing 18 degrees of phase lag.

Please include 18 degrees as an essential fit, not an option.

Head Turner

Oh dear, there is an obvious flaw in the system when considering the operation in wintery conditions and the design team need to be made aware that ski shoes are going to be essential for Fun Police who could flop this 'wonderful creation of pilot's minds' into deep snow and spill his coffee and get his doughnuts damp.
So yet another 'must have' (snow pads) is added to the already comprehensive list of essential items. There is a fear that the likes of EC, Sikorsky, Agusta, Bell and MD are closely monitoring this site for inspiration.