Post by Flingwing

"In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum and Plexiglass going dozens of miles per hour, and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for trees, water, buildings and larger animals. Draws don't count."

Obviously you have not seen a west coast heli-logging operation in process! Trees are are loosing a thousand fold. Go get em boys!

Saw one quote a long time ago, where a fatigued pilot proceeded onto the wrong taxi way and hold point from where he had been directed by ATC. The Flower in the Tower proceeds (IN female fashion!!) to give this poor guy dogs abuse for a couple of minutes, and finishes her tirade by instructing him that due to his incompetence he can sit where he is for 20 minutes til the next slot. The next tx was unidentified, and said simply...

"Hey honey, wasn't I married to you once?"

From a friend who got a back-seat in a Phantom - while suiting up...

Friend: What happens if there's a problem?
Jockey: It's just like being on a Ship - the Captain's the last one to leave...
Friend: Right...
Jockey: What happens is - I'll shout "Eject, Eject, Eject"...and then you're the Captain.

Rebuke for a particularly irritating split-arse in the LHS:

"Just remember that this is a Cockpit and not a Box Office"

"CRM only works in a gender nuetral environment"

DB

Never fly in the same cockpit as someone braver than yourself

"A day without autorotations is a day without sunshine." (Spoken by Tom Freeland, LCDR, USN, about a quarter of a century ago ... or maybe LCDR Jack Coyne).

(Note: That remark was about practicing autorotations, not having to do any) due to a malfunction of one sort or another).

There is a fine line between "Well Done!" and "What the f**k did you do THAT for?"


You're only as good as your last pay check, or your last f**k up, and you will be remembered for the f**k up!

Always fly as far into the crash as you can.
Bob Hoover

rescue on arriving at the crash: 'what happened?'

test pilot: 'Don't know i only just got here myself'

My Three Golden Rules for surviving until Retirement



"Limitations are for Normal Operations!"

Hint....."Crashing is not a Normal Operation!"


Also....

"Ass...Tin....Ticket! The correct order of priority!"

and....

Aircraft are merely reusable containers built to protect the occupants!

At some point they get used to do just that!

The first person to the scene of the accident is...the pilot!

The last thing to pass through his mind is.....um, never mind.

There is nothing so foolproof that it can stop a DETERMINED fool.

" Hij vloog goed, maar niet lang"

Henk Klusman

a mate talking about a machine while slinging,
"it pulls like a school boy watching porn"

Whilst not terribly aviation related, "I'd rather a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy".

From my first instructor:

"You know, just because we are pilots doesn't make use better than other people. It just makes us a whole lot cooler!" - Steve "Puff" Rogers

How do you know that there is a pilot in the room? He will tell you!

I think Winnie said it..."Nothing more exhilarating then being shot at and missed!"

My first instructor, Jake Jackson while teaching me to hover; "Gently boy gently! Its like w***ing a hamster, if you don't do it gently its f***ing messy!"

A crusty old captain I used to fly with would always say when asking for the undercarriage to be lowered...
'Dangle the Dunlops please!'

About flying helicopters,

It's the most fun you can have with your hand between your legs and not go blind.

"If you think maintenance is expensive, try having an accident."

"In the event of an engine failure, we will look forward and crash visually."

And I always thought it was:

""those who can, do; those who cannot, teach; those who cannot teach, examine."