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Flying Instructors & Examiners A place for instructors to communicate with one another because some of them get a bit tired of the attitude that instructing is the lowest form of aviation, as seems to prevail on some of the other forums!

Funny comments made by students

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Old 18th Feb 2007, 18:07
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Funny comments made by students

One of my students made some interesting statement. "I'm not allowed to use my cellular while driving. Now they want to place a ban on smoking, eating and drinking while driving. And you are seriously asking me to do radio communication, navigate and fly this thing.

Made my day...
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Old 19th Feb 2007, 09:27
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LOL - He has a point though
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Old 19th Feb 2007, 10:09
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Good one

Female student learning to hover and having difficulty. .

"oh. . you do it!!"

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Old 19th Feb 2007, 10:58
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Female student who when asked..."Can you smell oil"? replied..."Yes, O,I,L".

How we laughed in the crewroom after!
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Old 19th Feb 2007, 12:45
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Me: "Simulated engine failure"

Stude: (opens throttle) "Nah, the engine's fine, don't worry"
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Old 20th Feb 2007, 06:15
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Student planned a navex in a C150 and found the ground speed on one leg to be 145 knots.

Asks her instructor: 'Can the aircraft take that?'
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Old 20th Feb 2007, 12:09
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How low do you get before you land?
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Old 20th Feb 2007, 19:14
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Bone dry ATC to student flying C152 in circuit at busy FL flight school: "Cessna two six romeo, have you really been hijacked or are you just kiddin' me on? Squawk 1200."

SB
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Old 20th Feb 2007, 21:30
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Also from ATC (radar unit) on a student navex "cy instructor" "CY instructor go ahead" - "do you want me to say something", "CY instructor - no thank you". And still the student did not realise she was lost!
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Old 21st Feb 2007, 19:35
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Student declared emergency at Cranfield a few years ago, in a C150/152 with the flaps not working.

Tower asked to confirm it was an emergency, student repeats: 'mayday mayday mayday, my flaps don't work'.

For those of you who don't know Cranfield, 1800 m of hard runway. Hardly an issue in a flapless C150/152.

After uneventful landing with emergency services in attendance, tower asks: 'Can you confirm you are happy to taxi back to parking without flaps?'

Priceless!
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Old 21st Feb 2007, 21:19
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Me to instructor as he gets out of right door prior to first solo:

"Where the **** do you think you're going? You get your **** right back in here....NOW!"

But what a buzz!
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Old 22nd Feb 2007, 11:18
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Touch and go...

Scenario: stude 'landed' with a thump after one of those holdoffs about 4ft above the ground which they seem to like to do occasionally. C152 u/c went to full twang then absorbed the abuse manfully.

Me: 'We're down then K?'

Stude: 'We didn't bounce!'

Me: 'Meteorites don't bounce, K.....'
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Old 22nd Feb 2007, 12:53
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Me, myself on a night rating instruction flight, around 30 secs after instructor had flipped the master switch off:

Hey, both fuel gauges show empty tanks ! It took me approx 3 milliseconds to realize how stupid that was !
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Old 23rd Feb 2007, 12:22
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I recently chopped the power on a fairly good student at 2000'AGL right above the nearly 1km runway at EGPG. Noone else in the circuit, not a breath of wind, I've even called a glide approach to land for him.

Me "So where are we going to land"

Student (blind panic) "How about that field there?" . He points to a tiny field with cows, and power lines in it directly next to the runway.

Me "Are you sure?"

Student "Yes"

Student proceeds to fly me towards field down to 100 feet when I call a go around. I even stared at him looking bewildered the whole way down. I give up!

Gotta love em!
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Old 23rd Feb 2007, 20:55
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OK, not a student but a trial lesson did once ask

'Is flying affected by weather?'

Actual conditions were wind 30 gusting 40, horizontal rain and a 200' cloud base and nothing could convince her that rescheduling would be a good plan
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Old 23rd Feb 2007, 22:47
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Bet a quick low level circuit would've.....

PF
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Old 24th Feb 2007, 04:31
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A long time ago I asked a student if he knew what an Unusual Attitude was? He said this " An Unusual Attitude is when you have the hood on and can't find the VOR" That guy never did get a pilot certificate as I recall.
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Old 24th Feb 2007, 06:53
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whilst doing aerodynamics, a student replied to the question
"where are slats found?"
with
"down the back makeing the coffee"
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Old 24th Feb 2007, 07:05
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Student on a landaway lesson at White Waltham, had clocked up in excess of 20 hours on PPL syllabus

Me at food / drinks counter about to order myself a tea

Q - What would you like to drink
Student - I'll have a pint of Guinness please (which he did have)

Made me laugh at the time
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Old 26th Feb 2007, 22:47
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On a navex one day a student and I saw a BAE146 at a regional airport. Having recently studied aerody and knowing the student was not familiar with this aircraft, I asked him why were the wings sloping downwards (anhedral).
His reply was "there a four engines for such a small plane"

Me: Yeah, so!!!
Student: Well the engines would be too heavy for the wings
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