Stupid ATC calls
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Sydney
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"Bankstown Square, ABC,Cessna 152,Solo for the T/A received Foxtrot......"
"All stations Sexnock (Cessnock)......."
ATC:"ABC follow the Party (Partenavia) mid down wind"
ABC:"Ahhh I always love a party"
and endless open mike TX's!!!
"All stations Sexnock (Cessnock)......."
ATC:"ABC follow the Party (Partenavia) mid down wind"
ABC:"Ahhh I always love a party"
and endless open mike TX's!!!
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Brisbane
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"Pearce Tower, Sierra 123, ready in turn"
"Sierra 123, Pearce tower , Line Up"
"Sierra 123, I'm currently behind a C-130 at the holding point and can't"
Sierra
I always love the "Contact tower when ready" as you taxi to the holding point.
"Sierra 123, Pearce tower , Line Up"
"Sierra 123, I'm currently behind a C-130 at the holding point and can't"
Sierra
I always love the "Contact tower when ready" as you taxi to the holding point.
Join Date: Oct 1998
Location: Australia
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ATC: Virgin xxx, could you give centre a check call on 128.6 please.
Virgin xxx: Centre, Virgin xxx signal check on 128.6.
No response but the mic is open and a conversation can be heard in the background.
Virgin FO: "He better be careful not to swear over that channel"
2 seconds later
Centre:" nah...bull$hit..really?"
Virgin xxx: Centre, Virgin xxx signal check on 128.6.
No response but the mic is open and a conversation can be heard in the background.
Virgin FO: "He better be careful not to swear over that channel"
2 seconds later
Centre:" nah...bull$hit..really?"
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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Yes, on a few occasions I have had people report that they had me visual. Mind you I was in cloud at the time (Could be that TCAS is relied on a bit too much).
Bottums Up
Capt Claret crewing a Pterodactyl with the guy who named me (after we had drunk far too much red, whilst solving the problems of the world):
"Brisbane Control, HK?, descending to xxxx, on top and about to enter."
Skipper wet himself as we'd just finished discussing how he'd always wanted to say that!
"Brisbane Control, HK?, descending to xxxx, on top and about to enter."
Skipper wet himself as we'd just finished discussing how he'd always wanted to say that!
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Australia
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KK - The reason why we ask "Report Visual" is that 90% of pilots will not and hence get held up. Honestly I have tried this out. story - I had an AN 737 on final for RWY29 in Darwin at 4 miles he asked for a visual Approach. I responded are you visual to which he stated yes. (one of many stories that day)
I'll put one to you - why do aircrew say "Visual on top" it means nothing for ATC, NOTHING
I'll put one to you - why do aircrew say "Visual on top" it means nothing for ATC, NOTHING
This one happened to my mate just the other day. (Can't remember exact words, he may be able to help out.)
Flying into BK from Prospect, and as usual, he was required to report on final at 3nm.
A/C - "Tower, ABC is 3 miles"
TWR - "ABC, from where I'm sitting, you seem to be about 1 1/2 miles. Maybe one of us should touch up on our mileage technique".
What can u say to that??
Cheers,
TL
Flying into BK from Prospect, and as usual, he was required to report on final at 3nm.
A/C - "Tower, ABC is 3 miles"
TWR - "ABC, from where I'm sitting, you seem to be about 1 1/2 miles. Maybe one of us should touch up on our mileage technique".
What can u say to that??
Cheers,
TL
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: east coast
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Female controller in South East QLD speaking to a lighty out of AF that planned via Mount Mee. The aircraft was vectored clear of traffic and asked.
"XXX position.....resume own navigation do you wish to track direct .... or Mt Mee"
No response for a while
"XXX position.....resume own navigation do you wish to track direct .... or Mt Mee"
No response for a while
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
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Tupela,
AIP says to say inflight conditions on first contact with approach. If you are Visual, I.e. >5km vis and clear of cloud, but can't see the ground, what are you supposed to say? We can see other aeroplanes but not the runway? I have heard many long winded explainations on "in flight conditions" - visual-but-about-to-enter etc etc. Now I know it means nothing I will modify my responce.
Back to the thread. My all time favourite is the bugsmasher inbound to Moorabbin:
"MB twr, ABC, GMH inbound, flight level one five zero zero, recieved Alpha." To which ATC replyed "ABC fire retro rockets and report passing each even thousand feet"!
AIP says to say inflight conditions on first contact with approach. If you are Visual, I.e. >5km vis and clear of cloud, but can't see the ground, what are you supposed to say? We can see other aeroplanes but not the runway? I have heard many long winded explainations on "in flight conditions" - visual-but-about-to-enter etc etc. Now I know it means nothing I will modify my responce.
Back to the thread. My all time favourite is the bugsmasher inbound to Moorabbin:
"MB twr, ABC, GMH inbound, flight level one five zero zero, recieved Alpha." To which ATC replyed "ABC fire retro rockets and report passing each even thousand feet"!
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Adrift upon the tides of fate
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Tupela, mention1 etc. visual on top can be very useful to know if we want a visual go-through. Stop giving bad advice. On thread; I was sitting next to a national- who is a very good mimic- and he was speaking to each aircraft with the appropriate accent ie British accent for speedbird etc. He became unstuck after Iranian Gulf123- Iranian accent. Response- Aussie pilot. Dillman456- Bahrainy- Aussie pilot. Oman Air789 Omani accent- Aussie pilot. Emirates7 Aussie pilot. Gulf Air123 Aussie pilot. Next aircraft to call QF15. He just says "okay, I give up".
Join Date: Oct 1999
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tupela and mention1
I agree. "Visual on top" does not meet the definition of visual, as opposed to "VMC on top".
I use "on top", which implies I have vis, on top and haven't forgotten to call visual. Not strictly AIP, but I think it gets the message through.
This is probably more suited to another forum.
Cheers
I agree. "Visual on top" does not meet the definition of visual, as opposed to "VMC on top".
I use "on top", which implies I have vis, on top and haven't forgotten to call visual. Not strictly AIP, but I think it gets the message through.
This is probably more suited to another forum.
Cheers