You know you're in Latin America when........
 

In keeping with similar threads in the African and Middle East forums, decided to start one for L.A. I'll get the ball rolling:

The runways/taxiways have potholes in them

90% of airport terminals don't have jetways

There is no radar coverage, cause the local terrorists blew them up

Weather observations are made by looking out the window

Basic Indoc/Ground school to line flying takes 12 months roughly

200 hr/19 yr olds get FO on big fleet cause of who their relatives are

Dubious ICAO level "6"ers cant handle basic RT on arrival to any english speaking destinations

You have to go and pump/pay for your own fuel when using alternates

Combined age of entire cabin crew is equal to that of a single FA at AA or UA etc

You are told to "colaborar" on your days off

When "exenciones" from local regs are standard

When 20 odd people report sick on xmas or new years etc

Saludos and "happy landings"

You hear animal sounds on the frequency (Costa Rica).

You hear "piropos" on the frequency between male pilots and female controllers (or vice-versa).

Cabin crew greet the flight-deck crew in the morning at the hotel with a kiss on the cheek and a cheerful "¡Buenos días capi!"

Passengers checking-in in Miami to fly home show up with a steamer-trunk size bag as carry-on. Check-on baggage includes a washer and dryer, new stereo system, and two large boxes full of miscellaneous.

Famous local pilots have nicknames such as "el Loco", "el Gordo", or "el traga moscas", etc.

You think of the FAA as progressive, highly efficient, charitable and overall- a model to follow.

The Director of the local Aeronáutica Civil is in jail.

The guy who flies the Cessna 152 shows up at the airport wearing white pilot shirt, blue tie, blue pants, polished black shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, pilot hat and Epaulettes with 4-bars of gold or silver braid.

Cruel.....but so true :D

TTFN

You know you're in Latin America when........
 

Ok, here's my shot:

When you hear/make a PAN or MAYDAY call on 121.5 and the controller says "Standby"

You know all your crewmembers by first name 99% of the time

When:
- ...You wish you earn more money than your neigbor thinks you earn.
- ...When your wife thinks you have 3 or 4 girlfriends within the airline, not just one.
- ...when you fought with management to have a single room for each crewmember for rest on layovers, but the crew ends up sleeping in just half of them.

When ATC descend you to 4,000ft AGL at the FAF for the ILS and they expect you to comply with the glideslope.

When clearance delivery spends three nanoseconds to transmit a long clearance (mexico) and expects you to read it back in two nanoseconds more.

lots of ICAO level 6 crewmembers (in the land of the blind, the one eyed is king).

When landing in a short short runway doesn't even raise you an eyebrow.

When going first time to a new short runway you ask "Has someone already been there in this type of aircraft"? is part of the briefing.

You can really fly a visual approach in any transport category airplane.

The girls in the back know without asking how do you like your coffee.

Whatever happens in the company christmas party is the only thing that carries a conversation all year long... until the next christmas party of course.

when you hear everybody chatting and saying hello and talking politics in the app/ctr frequency and the controller also participates. (Venezuela).

When you see the same airline operating side by side a 2008 A320 and a 1966 F-27

Thats funny:}

... I especially like the 'piropos' one....

...when your boss thinks you should worship him -while making peanuts- for the experience you are gaining.

Priceless gents, all sooooo true, cracked me up all morning! I particualrly liked the one about the Miami pax and their "carry-ons", what a beauty!

Other nicknames include "el loro", "el negro", "el chato", "el orejon", "el pelado" and "el cabezon"

A few more,

When you call "Sta. Maria, Sta Maria Radio, LAN Peru 706, on ......." and they say "who?/ aircraft calling?" And you have to call back saying LIMA PAPA ECHO 7 0 6.

When ICAO Level 6ers proudly (with chest puffed out) call Miami App "This is LPE511, B763ER, descending through FL xxxx to FL xxxx, with information xxx, xxx miles south of xxxxx" and MIA ATC responds "roger"

When the dispatcher says "Capi there is a little extra on board"

When the FE (back in the day) says " yupp, 35 feet screen height" on a 12,000 ft runway and you cross the FIR still in climb for FL 280

When your fuel burn is "close" to the zero degradation FPL numbers

When the local airport ramp is a "mock" mojave desert for seized/confiscated aircraft suspected in drugs trafficking

When crew members/ suitcases/ carry-ons get searched everytime you arrive in the US

When the motto is "lo que pasa en el tubo se queda en el tubo"

When allowing your FOs to address you on a first name basis is considered good CRM

When you are told "no me digas capitan.............dime comandante"

Keep' em coming.............

...when the crew collects money for fuel in order to get the airplane back to the base.

...when salaries start to be delayed every month.

...when rumor has it that the company is going to be bought by some large group (nothing less than Lufthansa, Singapore Airlines or Emirates).

...when some routes are cancelled and some airplanes are returned to lessors.

...when the employees have to start loking for a new job.

...when the company´s designated "safety officer" (a civil aviation requirement) is known to violate every rule and SOP.

Ahh yes the beauty of LA ops:

When you are not allowed to use taxi-light in day ops (to save bulbs)

When you are towed an extra 20 cm after shutdown to hide bald spots

When you fly with 12 DMI (post it notes) and FAA inspector says "You got TWELVE?" as in disbelief upon ramp check

When they swap instrumentation around to lift a DMI

When they ask you to report it at next destination

When service bulletins aren't complied with cause they're too dam expensive

When planes go in for a C Check and dont come back to the fleet

When you have to put your name on "disposable" cup cause there aint enough for water, tea, coffee, etc during the whole flight

When you have to request clearance upon entering the aircraft for sequencing

When you are told to maintain max. speed UFN to then only be told to reduce to min. approach speed due to preceding or departing traffic:ugh:

When you get a resolution and ATC informs you of no known traffic in area

When you get food poisoning/rotavirus/ Hep A at the crew hotel while on layover

When your daily viaticos (per diems) don't cover lunch when in Europe on layover

When the chief FA decides if you get the UPG to business/first

When every flight back from EU or US has 3-5 "inadmitidos" due false visa/paperwork

When a porter becomes your marshaller to park the airplane

When you delay your takeoff till the donkeys/horses/dogs/etc cross the runway

When you have to land past half the runway to avoid interfiering with the "street football match" at the threshold

When you are told to do several 360 degree turns instead to have a holding pattern assigned

When the passengers arrive to the airport 5 minutes prior to the schedule time of departure

When the F/A comes to the cockpit and tells you they've got 50 meals and 100 pax on board

When HIL items last 3 to 4 months because the part have not arrived

When the tower "owes" you the wind and temp on the field because the instruments have broke down

When schedulling promises you not to call you again on your day off, but you are the only one available today

When you are about to taxi and you listen the dispatcher on the company
frequency asking if you can return to the ramp to pick up a late checked passenger

When an ATC controller request your intentions because your destination airport have suffered an electrical blackout

When you listen an AA, UA, DL, CO, BA, AF, KL etc... asking to say again please 3 or 4 times

When the jump seat have been sold

When an AM radios antenna is used in lieu of a OM or MM

When a NOTAM have been active for over 20 years

When you see some pilots going to the ramp because the restroom is too far away

:} :E :ok:

...when you have to beg for the refueler to come to the airplane because you commited the biggest sin of all. Ask for fuel for an unscheduled flight at 02:00AM! Finally he shows, one hour later, his expression indicating rage and hate. It works the same for state or pivate owned companies.

...when the state owned airline is "sold" without the buyer paying a single dollar.

Your Company is short on personnel, but refuses to advertise on the Company website or internet

...or they have an excess of personnel but still hire more. Later, it is found that one of the new entrants is one of the manager´s girlfriends.

when LAN flights are the only ones on the arrival and departure screens showing "on time". (and no, I have no vested interest, but I definitely experienced it recently in EZE and AEP)

...when engines parts are replaced with parts bought in a car shop. General aviation only (at least I would like to think so).

either that ,or doesn´t show up at all which is even worse.


-only the altimeter works.
-your navigation relays on road maps.
- the word "overweight" ,has been erased from your aeronautical knowledge and A/C limitations.
-airplanes ,fly with 5º of bank because of an old " incident ".

Required to file a full std ICAO written flight plan to do a once-around-the-patch maintenance flight at an arpt that has maybe 10 movements a day(Colombia).

Instructed by atc to hold short for a 206 on 10 mile final.

- You are #2 for the approach in a jet while being 10 miles ahead and 200kts faster than a turboprop aircraft, on the same airway, that belongs to a better liked airline than yours.

- On a 2 hour flight you talk to 2 center frequencies

- You would be very happy to end up with a FA

rcl