Flight Deck Tea
 

Had possibly the cheekiest Flite Deck ever today

He asked me for a cup of tea by producing a paint colour card, with 15 different shades of brown on it. He requested a cup of 'burnished oak' with 2 sugars, pointing out the shade of brown he wanted, as if I was too dumb to get what the cheeky little rascal meant.

Needless to say he received 'dogmuck' with 2 sugars instead!!

Anyone for eyedrops????

Making the Tea!
 

I too have had a few incidents like that!

One Captain wanted his tea, milky and with a "little" sugar and stirred anti-clockwise! Do we have nowt more too do then panda to their every needs!

How we love the Boys and Girls up front!

Fmb x

goatgirl,

I firmly believe on being professional even when confronted with the worst of bad taste or lack of professionalism.
React to it with professionalism and 1) you won't be blamed 2) you'll be respected.
Don't "take revenge" or you'll fall as low as the person who provoked your reaction.
Someone asks you for "burnished oak" tea? Fix a normal tea, and if she/he's not happy, invite her/him to the galley to help her/himself, as you are not able to satisfy her/his demand. And don't forget to use lots of humor.

What nationality was he? I'd LOVE to be able to give him a bit of stick!!!

Try offering them a Julie Andrews or a Whoopi Goldberg coffee.

(White Nun or Black Nun)

Goatgirl,Lets face it, they aren't hired for their people skills are they? Perhaps it was a (poor) attempt at humour? I'd have brought him the milk to do itself, since I couldn't possibly meet his exacting standards! Actually i usually bring the milk/sugar up for them and leave it there. They think, "My isn't she thoughtfull" when the reality is "My arent I lazy".

Qatar airways had a british captain (CC) and a french first officer(AD) on B-727 fleet, well over 4 years ago, who used to hassel first class crew as if there was no tomorow,and they had not seen food and drink in their whole lives.......

This sounds a bit "yak", but all they didnt know was they were drinking and eating "first class" spit !!!

So,all you demanding flight deck fellas,better be nice to the crew!

My fave is telling them that I gave it a good stir....... WITHOUT USING MY HANDS!!!!:eek: ;)

hiya goatgirl,
was this flight deck from Iran by any chance? cannot remember his name...eerrrmmmm? he has greying hair,very funny and jokey guy..sits in left side of aircraft.i think only flys A320? if so hes lovely! maybe not same guy im thinking of..:D :D :D

What a cheeky sod!!

If they give me tripe, I tell them to behave or else I'll rinse their crew cup in the toilet bowl :}

Have heard of a flighty who got grief from a Captain who did not believe that she did put one sugar in his cup of tea. After several sectors of his grief she took in a cup of tea for him and presented it with a smile. It wasn't until he got to the bottom of the cup that he discovered that this time she had definitely put in one sugar, and even left it in the sachet to prove it.

What goes around...

SG
:)

"Lets face it, they aren't hired for their people skills are they?"

Take a look at yourselves, people. The posts above demonstrate the biggest lack of people skills I have seen on either side of the door in a long time. Spit, eyedrops, loo water, and (Shadowpurser, I know you are usually much better behaved - don't stoop to their level) penises are all things in tea that are not only disgusting but downright dangerous. It is very difficult to preach about the safety aspects of your role when you are capable of even thinking of sabotaging the people who fly you around in such a way.

While there are a few old school pilots still around (think of poor old me locked in the box at the front with one of them for 12 hrs), the majority of flight crew are highly professional people who work very hard at maintaining a good working relationship in spite of the locked door, and who are finding it increasingly difficult to interact with stroppy cabin crew who have the sort of attitude toward their colleagues flaunted in some of the above posts.

I have great respect for many of my cabin crew friends and colleagues. I have had some fantastic nightstops with them, and am usually greeted with pleasure as one of the gang when I fly at work. I would not dream of helping myself to their galley in flight in the same way as I wouldn't expect a CC to make free with the controls on the flight deck. However, every so often I am confronted by some incompetent harridan (like the one today who served me with not one, but two frozen solid meals resulting in me only eating a banana and a muffin I had brought with me and this had to last me 12 hrs). In these cases I don't think "she's awful, all CC must be that bad." I take a deep breath, try to do my job properly, and wait for the next crew to come along, safe in the knowledge that they will be better and I will be able to resume a normal working environment.

Pandora I don't quite see what you are getting at.

As far as I'm concerned this thread is entirely tongue-in-cheek and we are all just having a laugh. I wouldn't really rinse their cup out in the toilet bowl, it's just a tactic I use to keep the cheek in check.

Flight crew and cabin crew do perform very different roles, however why does that mean we can't have fun and a laugh with each other at the same time?

There's a time to be serious sure, but having a joke about a cup of tea at least in my opinion does not degrade the cabin crew role of safety professionals.

Chill.
SG
:)

Hey Pandora... easy tiger! I am always well behaved!;)

As has been said it's all tongue in cheek (or willies in tea!). Last thing I want to do with my best friend is stick him in a cup full of boiling liquid:eek:

Making jokes and havin a laugh with the drivers livens up both our lives and as you can see by some of the posts here we certainly do have a laugh.

Yeah...you've got the odd prat who thinks your there to serve bow and scrape but I sit on my jump seat waiting for the day when they fall on their own stripes (see: Captain who did the RTO outta Pisa). I certainly wouldn't stoop so low as to actually do anything, nor have I ever seen anyone do anything either. In this job I've come across a lot of bravdo "I'm gonna say this!" or " I'm gonna do that...".

Many people talk the talk....but not many walk the walk:cool:

Pandora,

I do not agree with you one bit. I understand you must be one of those nice guys in the cockpit,but the side you dont see is what the poor cabin crew goes thrugh with some brainless assh*les in the cock pit.

Lets face it,....whats more important when it comes to air line buisness and cabin services? pax or the cockpit? it certainly is pax! (thats why we all are paid with a salary at the end of the month.)

How many of us are being hasseled by some inhuman flightdeck, who consider themselves as first classs pax? some even think we are servants recruited just to serve them!

I also understand and know that there are incompetant cabin crew who just dont know of there responsibilities.(like the one you had recently)

But,just because pilots fly the air craft and are in command of a plane,certainly does not mean that they should take advantage of crew.pilots should realy get in to the shoe of crew member to experience what they go thrugh on a flight, to learn and understand how difficult a role of a flight attendant is!

Hong Kong Layover.

lololol

(I agree Galley Wench - it was probably a poor attempt at being funny.)

Just the other day I was flying with an old Capt who had his fuddy duddy ways. All trip he was getting me to make him his cup of tea (with specific standards!) in his China tea cup that he brought with him. (Special!) At the end of the shift he thought he would crack a funny and rang for me. I came to the flight deck and he held out his Special Cup and said "Be a dear and give that a wash for me!" (Cheeky ******)

I replied "Hang on, how about I get a cloth and just wipe it out for you?" I went back to the galley and got a Chux, soaked it in hot water and then wiped the floor with it! I then re appeared into the flight deck (like a dutiful woman would) with my filthy, BLACK cloth in hand. The FO (who happened to be on the radio at the time) took one look at it and just burst out laughing!

I love it when they think they have got you a beauty and you play it right back to them! :p

I bet airlines worldwide will use this example in CRM. Don't forget there are good and bad on both sides of the fence.

Anyone remember the days when you could only address the Capt through the First Officer? The days before slots were invented and when a certain Capt put on his white gloves and ran his fingers down the armrests in First Class? There was hell to pay if he found a speck of dirt!! The days when the Capt thought he was God and commanded landing drinks all round!!

And of course those Chief Stewards who were so pissed they had to be stapped in the crew seat for a BOM - HKG sector and woke on approach and asked if they could do anything and started parting all over again at the next port of call. I still have my famous flask somewhere!!

Oh yes and what happened to the famous flight engineer who used to sneek in to the upper deck lounge while the Crew were serving downstairs and nick the Black Label. (Well he thought it was scotch)

WATCH OUT
 

This is a warning given to all members!

Please refer to my earlier comment on the 1st page.!!!!!

If you all notice,my comment has been registered as one from "BANG" - (another member)

This is one of many times I have been experiencing this problem and I have reported this already to 3 moderators. NO ACTION HAS BEEN TAKEN YET!

My appologies in advance to "bang"! - however this is not my fault and is beyond my control!

Bang-:I have already written to you regarding the issue via PM. please answer me.or write to the morerators! By the way,have you been facing same with my user name?

Hong Kong Layover.

Flight Deck Tea
 

Whats with the half sugars??

I am often asked for a white tea with half a sugar. Come on guys, I have better things to do than measure out sugar. What you get is a white tea with a full sugar, I just don't stir. It's a trick I learnt years ago and works.

Your probably logged in on someones elses identity HKL, as simple as that, no conspiracies.. check the "welcome back xxxxx" bit at the top of the forum homepage.

Sick Squid

Not realy sicksquid, this problem has been happening for some time and the "pprune" has been informed. besides,how could i get registered under someone elses' name,when my user name and the pass word has been used?

I also get PM',addressed to "bang"(who is the other member,in the picture)

There defenietly is something going on and i am awaiting "pprune" reply, which to my suprise,havent recieved yet.

Hong Kong Layover.

HKL,

your problem is being looked into. At first it was too vaguely described t intervene. Everything seems normal, so that's why 6£ suggested you might have used a computer with someone else's handle already logged in.
We'll let you know as soon as the "gizmologists" give their response.

Regards,

Flyblue

Honestly I despair... crew expect respect from passengers and then you read threads like this????

Yeah in the Herc world, the understanding was: never drink anything that wasn't scalding hot. That way you new what HADN'T been used by the load-monster to stir it.

In AN there was a very old FA down in ML who was known far and wide for her extreme nature, to put it very gently. Very unpopular with pilot and fa, alike. Nasty piece of work. You get the picture. Anyway, one day she'd been working her charms a little too much and the boss, who was usually very mellow --(actually most of the guys, post-89 as they were, seemed to allow themselves to be walked over by the C/crew a lot) --well he decides enough is enuff.

As we're taxiing around a bend and we have just instructed them to "disarm...etc" and he knows she's bending her fat, nasty @rse down to the girt bar, he let's the tiller self-correct (TWANG!!) and the ship lurches into the straight followed by the THUMP as her butt lands in the galley entrance.

HOWLS of laughter!! It was almost worth the unpleasant day we had to put up with. Almost... but not quite.

You see, I go to work to have a good time, not to play "one-up each other" with the c/crew. Can't we all just get along???

I'm sure someone out there will take this the wrong way and get all worked up with a blah blah blah...

God, what a bunch of humourless whingers.

Those of you who got into aviation after another career elsewhere must have been mollycoddled beyond belief to think that being asked to make tea is some form of inhuman behaviour. I thought some of you had done genuinely cr@p jobs beforehand.

Personally I thought the original post was extremely funny and it would have had me in stitches had I been there. I'm sure there are some real @rseholes out there (on both sides of the door), but most are a lot more tolerable than the kind of outrageous bullies and genuinely nasty characters I've worked for in the past. Whatever, or whoever, I have to deal with now I count my lucky stars that I'm doing it in aviation. Perhaps some of you need a little reality check.

the gravy stroke™
 

HAHAHAHAHAAAAA....!! yeah baby. thats exactly what i was about to say.

good one.... :cool: :ok: :zzz:

gravy™

THANKS FLYBLUE,

AWAITING YOUR REPLY!

Hong Kong Layover.

ATCO-MATIC,Take a chill pill this is 2003 ; we call this banter (OK Pandora).

Personally I stopped drinking anything hot two years ago but it was not what the CC might have done to it but what an engineer showed me.

They had cut a damaged urn in two and you would not believe the amount of gunk / slime etc inside.It made the overflow tank in my attic look sterile!!! :uhoh:

You are joking ; thats the last time I drink anything out of there!

blat wrote,"As we're taxiing around a bend and we have just instructed them to "disarm...etc" and he knows she's bending her fat, nasty @rse down to the girt bar, he let's the tiller self-correct (TWANG!!) and the ship lurches into the straight followed by the THUMP as her butt lands in the galley entrance."
That was pretty stupid, and IRRESPONSIBLE on the part of both of you, wasn't it!
Not only could you have caused her serious back injury, but the same result probably occurred with the other F/A's who were disarming the doors, esp. the ones in the rear

TWIT! The aviation industry doesn't need clowns like you up the front. Not only that, but you are apparently quite comfortable boasting about your dangerous prank well after the event (Ansett died almost 2 years ago).

Kaptin M,

Having been effectively told to wind my neck in because all of the stupid and dangerous things mentioned and advocated here by CC are just 'jokes' and 'banter', should we not give blat the benefit of the doubt and assume he/she was just trying to join in with a big joke? Or maybe it is only funny when it is a story about CC doing something stupid and irresponsible.

Thanks Pandoras, well-said. I think everyone's heard of 'urban legends'? Okay so it didn't happen to me, maybe it didn't happen at all. But on the face of it it is funny to picture the old bag getting it back, isn't it?? Even the FAs didn't like her. And you're right, it simply served to offer the other side of the coin.

As for the rest of the joke, that arse was so well-padded inmjuries were less of a worry than her skirt up over her head...

KM... seasoned prooner, takes the bait. Nice!! Relax dude, six-monthly medicals and ECGs, remember?

A bit of a check with some ex-AN F/A's should soon confirm your story's veracity or otherwise, blat.

Why you - as supposedly responsible pilot - would feel it "funny" to drive another wedge between Cabin Crews and pilots by recanting stories of how you punished Cabin Crew whom you were unable to incorporate as part of a TEAM, is beyond me!

In YOUR opinion, she might have had a "fat arse" - in her's YOU probably have a FAT HEAD. :sad:

lol, i think both of you need to calm down...
it would be funny to see the cabin crew member fall over, but it was also unresponsible of the pilot...

leave it at that :ok:

If you feel the need to check veracity then be my guest. Personally I couldn't give a rat's.

As for the rest of your defensive, you seem too fixated on trying to recover to see reason so I'm over it. You're too tense, man. Focus on that pension.