Which reminds me......two of my friends (BA Staff on staff travel) were flying to Orlando. CC offered the menu, one choice was filet mignon, one friend said "whats the filet mignon", to which my other friend replied "that'll be the fish"!!

Abusing_the_sky, it sounds to me like the passenger was speaking tounge-in-cheek...sort of thing I'd do...call it, trying to be affable! :)

BTW, you can get beans on toast in bmi longhaul business class. It's makes a nice change (quite homely) when you've been flying about for days on end.

Sounds like you got away with that then, fingers crossed ... (in front of your chest, very distinctively ...)

Sfo Helicopter
 

Long ago when I was in college I worked the chopper flights between
sfo-jok-and various other bay area locations. Our motto was "Give Us
Twirl". It made for rather suggestive comments to us as male cabin crew from both women and men,all of which can't be posted here.

A few years ago I was flying as pax back from Budapest to LHR, and overheard this between the American couple seated behind me and CC:

pax: Sir, when we flew from London to Budapest we took off at 12 and arrived at 3pm - but now on the way back we took off at 10am and the captain just announced we will land at 11am. Why is it shorter today?
Obviously busy CC: This pilot knows a short cut, sir!
American woman to husband: Oh, good for him, honey - aren't we lucky today!

Bless em
 

I'm CC myself so naturally I normally hate travelling as a passenger. On a long haul flight SIN-LHR after having already flown ADL-SIN that morning, the first drinks service and the FA had no idea i was crew:
FA: Would you like something to drink?
Me: Just some water thanks,
FA: Just water?
Me: Yeah, I've been flying from Australia so I'm just really thirs--
FA: Look, I don't want to hear your life story.
Me: *Blinks*
FA: I'm only joking, are you sure you don't want anything else?
Me: okay, I'll have a gin and tonic if you insist.
Naturally, we were friends the rest of the flight and had a good laugh in the galley.

Then, the next sector from LHR-MXP (now having been travelling for almost 30 hours.)
FA: Would you like some breakfast?
Me: What is it?
FA: *screws up her nose at a plastic coated meat filled bun* Good question.

What a great bunch, love it.

Dinner Sir
 

In the drive to reduce costs airlines have slowly wound back their in-flight services leading to the following exchange between a FA and my adjacent Pax;

FA: Would you like dinner Sir,

Pax: What are the choices?

FA: Yes or no.

Boardingpass,

that is the funniest !!!!. Dont you love these cheeky crew that have a bit of a muck around!!!! Theres not enough of them.

GB

This wasnt me - but did happen
 

On a Pacific Airline a rather rude young american child travelling with parents
CC: Would you like something to drink
HE: Yeah. Gimme a Pepsi (Pepsi not even sold in New Zealand)
CC: Im sorry we dont have Pepsi. Would you like a coke instead
HE: No. I want a Pepsi
CC: As I said. There is no Pepsi. Would you like something else.
HE: NO. Just gimme a Pepsi.
CC: Okay this isnt working. Can you tell me. How many F's in "If"
HE: One
CC: Great. So how many F's in "Off"
HE: Two
CC: Fabulous. Now how many F's in Pepsi
HE: There aint no F in Pepsi.
CC: Exactly. Thats what I've been trying to tell you. Enjoy your coke

A true story

hey, joefly, what happened to the fat man tale? I was sitting here with bated breath waiting to see what SHE said next ...

All you CC will recognise this one
 

Pax invariably are watching a movie during meak service and many simply refuse to move headphones to talk to you. Its even worse when they do and this conversation STILL takes place

CC: Would you care for Tea
Pax: I want coffe
CC: Sorry sir. I have Tea. Coffee is coming *Turns towards next pax*
Pax: I said I'll take coffee
CC: Yes sir. I am sorry but I have Tea. The other crew have coffee
Pax: I want coffee
CC: Yes I know sir. But I am sorry I have Tea in this pot.
Pax: But I want coffee
CC: Sir. I have Tea and the other crew are coming with coffee
Pax: Just gimme a coffee now
CC: Certainly sir

*Goes ahead and pours hot beverage in cup*

Bless em

I just love when I make a PA reminding them to keep their seatbelts fastened (after I have been released from my seat after take-off) until the captain has switched off the seatbelt sign. Pretty much as soon as i hang up the handest i always get at least one pax jump out of his seat for something totally important out of the overheads...

Also when passengers are getting on board and they are trying to jam ridiculously sized items of so called hand luggage into the overhead lockers. Bags etc that clearly are not going to fit and they push and push and they look at me (still boarding passengers and checking boarding passes), but they look at me and sometimes i really have to keep myself from saying 'what do u expect me to do, i cant make the overhead locker any bigger!'

Wangja
 

Sorry I deleted the thread by mistake.... jetlag.

Then went and retyped it all out and the Internet in my hotel room timed out so lost it all.

Sorry to wreck it in the retelling but long story short is that she was extremely rude and offensive and was embarassing the hell out of the large guy, who I had spoken with and was delightful.

She insisted i move him, and when we couldnt immediately then insisted I move her and husband. Explained again we didnt know where vacant seats where in economy. She then asked if we had empty seats in First Class.

I knew we did, so got permission for Head Purser. Went back and said to her that there were seats available in First today so could accomodate her request. She stood up with a very smug look on her face, and the poor guy was looking for a hole to climb into..... when I added ....

So Sir..... If you would like to come with me, I am sorry but we have to change your seat today.

Was priceless. I dont see people insist on rewarding bad behaviour. Luckily that day the nice guy won out......

Thick pax
 

Slightly off topic from a hobby flyer and slf, but I'm reminded of the tannoy announcement to a London Underground tube platform.

"To the lady with the umbrella on Platform 2. It doesn't rain underground...."

It's not always pax....
 

Well, this is mine... few days ago... first domestic flight ever (in several years of flying).... made a p.a. to advise pax I would have passed through the cabin handing out landing cards FOR ENTRY INTO THE U.K.!! Yes, it was a domestic flight back into LHR!!!! :ouch:
HOW EMBARASSING!!! not many seem to have noticed though, as they do, but with a few of them I had a good laugh at the end of the flight!
I wanted to disappear from embarassement!!
:8

American Pax
 

This might sound awfully cruel but i do enjoy playing a joke on American SLF,

Pax: "Can i get, like, a coffee?"

CC: "Certainly, we have tea."

This can be adjusted and adapted to more or less any request.

or my personal favourite:

Daughter: "Can i have a water?"

CC: "No problem, Regular or Diet?"

Daughter? "Wow, Diet Water? Mom! Mom! They do Diet Water!"

Mother: "OMG Diet Water? Can i get one to?"

Quick response for earlies.
 

Pax: "Excuse me? Can i ask a quick question?"

CC: "No."

My sister was in club on her way to Rio and went to the toilet, she heard a banging on the door and was told that the toilet was strictly for club passengers and economy toilets were down the back. She was pretty miffed but the rest of us were just laughing:E

Slighty off topic but..
 

I flew with Mrs T and the rug rats all over the US a few years back. On a flight from Los Angeles to San Diego, I bet Alex (boy, 11) $10 that he wouldn't sing "You've lost that loving feeling" in the TopGun style to the flight deck crew when we boarded - he did! It was so funny I gave him $20.

Going from Las Vegas to San Jose, Sophie (girl, 9) was offered the same to sing "Do you know the way to San Jose?".

Both crews just looked bemused and in typical American style, no-one except us seemed to see the funny side of it - I don't think I'd try it post-911.

Anyway, one of the best $40 I've spent!

funny thread
 

LOL... got a loads of laughter from reading this thread. Keep em coming guys... :ok: