Welcome Aboard Chavair
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Leeds
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Chavs in the US
Do you not have an underclass of half-witted drunks who exist on benefits, dress in Burberry and Nike / Reebok / Adidas clothing? Other than those from the UK undertaking a taxpayer-sponsored visit to Disneyland, I mean?
Join Date: Apr 2004
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Charlie Horse and More
A "charlie horse" is a cramp in your leg... No clue where the term came from.
The people here who exist on benefits (welfare), buy adidas clothes and fake Burberry (DB stuff is bigger here than Burberry) might be more associated with what we might call "trailer trash".
The people here who exist on benefits (welfare), buy adidas clothes and fake Burberry (DB stuff is bigger here than Burberry) might be more associated with what we might call "trailer trash".
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'Trailer trash' being the typical audience for Jerry Springer I presume? The same sort who appear on, and in the audience for, our leading in-depth social commentary shows, 'Trisha' and 'Jeremy Kyle' (omnibus editions of which are available on the portable in-flight entertainment systems on Chavair).
Excuse my total brain failure or ignorance...DB?
Excuse my total brain failure or ignorance...DB?
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Trailer Trash
Yes, Jerry Springer and Trailer Trash...that works. DB= Dooney Bourke..the American version of Chav only has faux designer wear.... purchased out of the back of a car parked in a vacant lot at midnight...
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Thanks for those. So 'Trash Airlines' for the US and 'Boganair' for the Aussies! (Employees of a certain Scottish regional carrier might object to the latter so apologies to Scott Grier for that).
Would the concept transfer to other countries? I think you would need a burgeoning underclass and a thriving LoCo sector for the joke to work, but surely we in the UK are not unique.
I would be interested in seeing a US or Aussie translation.....
Would the concept transfer to other countries? I think you would need a burgeoning underclass and a thriving LoCo sector for the joke to work, but surely we in the UK are not unique.
I would be interested in seeing a US or Aussie translation.....
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Could Ryanair, Easyjet, Southwest, Jetstar and Air Asia join up as the Trailer Trash Alliance?
Sort of like Oneworld innit? Tickets could be subsidised by their bulk Stella purchasing power, and planes painted in Burberry logojet schemes
Sort of like Oneworld innit?
Tickets could be subsidised by their bulk Stella purchasing power, and planes painted in Burberry logojet schemes
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Like it..
There would be exclusive 'Under Class' lounges for the pax, ideally outside so they can have a last few smokes before boarding. To make them feel at home, plasma TVs would provide 24 hour rolling 'Trisha' or local equivalent. Supplies of dirty clothing would have to be ordered in to be left strewn around the floors and cheap sofas provided (custom made with cigarette burns and rips).
I'm not sure if any perfume manufacturers have managed to bottle up the unique aroma of the Chav home (stale sweat, filth and animal matter) but if not, then Brut would probably have to be sprayed liberally.
The carpets would also need specially treating till they are sticky enough for your feet to adhere (pax would be requested to wipe their feet on the way out).
Glazing would not be a problem as the lounge would just need a few sheets of plywood where the windows used to be.
There would be exclusive 'Under Class' lounges for the pax, ideally outside so they can have a last few smokes before boarding. To make them feel at home, plasma TVs would provide 24 hour rolling 'Trisha' or local equivalent. Supplies of dirty clothing would have to be ordered in to be left strewn around the floors and cheap sofas provided (custom made with cigarette burns and rips).
I'm not sure if any perfume manufacturers have managed to bottle up the unique aroma of the Chav home (stale sweat, filth and animal matter) but if not, then Brut would probably have to be sprayed liberally.
The carpets would also need specially treating till they are sticky enough for your feet to adhere (pax would be requested to wipe their feet on the way out).
Glazing would not be a problem as the lounge would just need a few sheets of plywood where the windows used to be.
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Fly TrashAir
On TrashAir the only beverage available is grape Kool-Aid or a can of warm generic beer. The flight attendants wear bib overalls with plaid flannel shirts, or no shirt ..titties could hang out on the sides...however they will be quite droopy. The flight attendants will also have large black holes in their teeth or they will have forgotten to put in their bridgework. All the over bleached blonde haired flight attendants will have dark brown roots and all the males will sport mullets. Their overnight luggage will be either a faux designer bag or one of those red white and blue disposable things purchased at the $1.00 store. Galley carts do not fit on TrashAir, they use a small rusted out childs red wagon.
More later, I have a flight to catch!
More later, I have a flight to catch!
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So TrashAir's cabin staff will share a reasonably common corporate look with Chavair, just plaid instead of Burberry. Yes, I can visualise it. A feature of Chavair's uniform is that the blouses are just too short to reach the waistband of the trousers, exposing their flabby, pallid rolls of fat to the air 
Their equally-bleached hair is pulled sharply back and secured with an elastic band, allowing the crew member to instantly look years younger with that essentially British contribution to cosmetic surgery, the 'Council House Facelift'.
Their equally-bleached hair is pulled sharply back and secured with an elastic band, allowing the crew member to instantly look years younger with that essentially British contribution to cosmetic surgery, the 'Council House Facelift'.
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Harry Denford has a website for a spoof airline like this
http://www.south-london-airlines.connectfree.co.uk/
http://www.south-london-airlines.connectfree.co.uk/
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Top stuff! May I suggest the following embellishments?
...A lifejacket emblazoned with the logo of a designer that was fashionable five years ago, is located in a pocket beneath your seat. ChavAir are assured that these are the genuine article and not something that the Chief Of Operations scabbed off a mate, the last time he chucked a sickie to help empty a warehouse.
...You will find a flashlight and whistle attached to the lifejacket, so you can amuse yourselves by simulating a rave whilst awaiting rescue.
May I suggest the following embellishments?...A lifejacket emblazoned with the logo of a designer that was fashionable five years ago, is located in a pocket beneath your seat. ChavAir are assured that these are the genuine article and not something that the Chief Of Operations scabbed off a mate, the last time he chucked a sickie to help empty a warehouse.
...You will find a flashlight and whistle attached to the lifejacket, so you can amuse yourselves by simulating a rave whilst awaiting rescue.
