Thick passenger comments
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Brisbane, Oz
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Working for JQ we get a range of pax... including those who have been rejected by Greyhound Buslines. Here's what happened during a 9pm flight to Melbourne after CSM made a PA regarding turning the lights down for pax comfort
Bulldog-resembling pax: What did she say?
Me: We are turning down the lights now
Pax: Why would you do that? To save electricity? I can't see my magazine
Me: That's right. The electricity bill hasn't been paid and they'll probably cut it off soon, but we're hoping that we land before they do so.
Not to mention the number of times that I have had a lady thrust a baby bottle at me and tell me to 'heat it in the microwave for 1 minute on medium-high'.
Bulldog-resembling pax: What did she say?
Me: We are turning down the lights now
Pax: Why would you do that? To save electricity? I can't see my magazine
Me: That's right. The electricity bill hasn't been paid and they'll probably cut it off soon, but we're hoping that we land before they do so.
Not to mention the number of times that I have had a lady thrust a baby bottle at me and tell me to 'heat it in the microwave for 1 minute on medium-high'.
:-) (-:
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Austria
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Skybunny - you don't have a microwave on board??? What sort of an airline is that?
But at least you are lucky - I don't know how many flights I've been on when people wouldn't take anything for their kids along!
Usually shortly after take-off they needed: fresh diapers for their babies, food, bottles with milk (no - not warming up, they didn't take any along as they fully well knew we carry babybottles and babymilk!), the kids meals for the bigger ones, ....
And all together and right now... because their kids are the most precious to them ...
And then you find one of those little ones in the chiller right before you put the trolley back in - as they are playing hide and seek on the aircraft!
But at least you are lucky - I don't know how many flights I've been on when people wouldn't take anything for their kids along!
Usually shortly after take-off they needed: fresh diapers for their babies, food, bottles with milk (no - not warming up, they didn't take any along as they fully well knew we carry babybottles and babymilk!), the kids meals for the bigger ones, ....
And all together and right now... because their kids are the most precious to them ...
And then you find one of those little ones in the chiller right before you put the trolley back in - as they are playing hide and seek on the aircraft!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: UK
Age: 46
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Holding over our destination airport and unable to land due to fog. Holding out for that gap in the weather to avoid a divert.
"excuse me.... can i use my mobile to tell my friend i'm going to be late...?????? !!!!!!!!!
"excuse me.... can i use my mobile to tell my friend i'm going to be late...?????? !!!!!!!!!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: somewere
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I was once handed a packet of super noddles and asked to make them as she didn't like airline food. I explained that i would need a pot, cooker etc to make them and we don't have that onboard, told her to bring a pot noddle next time.
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: In an airspace near you!
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This happened on a flight the other day:
Female Pax: Have you any sanitary napkins or tampons.
Me: Umm, no, I'm a boy (a cheeky attempt to hide my embarrassment).
Female Pax: (Laughing) I can see that, but you don't have them onboard.
Me: Errm, no, sorry.
10 mins later as I walk past.
Female Pax: Hey, you do have them. They're in the toilets, my husband saw them when he went!
Male Pax (Husband): (Crossly) You should know that lad.
Me: Well, I've never been into the girls toilets on the aircraft before, but what were you doing in there anyway? (Being cheeky again).
Male Pax: Oh shi!t, was that the girls? I didn't see the sign!
Me: Well, how embarassing, you won't do that again will ya? (winking at wife).
Female pax wet herself laughing!
Female Pax: Have you any sanitary napkins or tampons.
Me: Umm, no, I'm a boy (a cheeky attempt to hide my embarrassment).
Female Pax: (Laughing) I can see that, but you don't have them onboard.
Me: Errm, no, sorry.
10 mins later as I walk past.
Female Pax: Hey, you do have them. They're in the toilets, my husband saw them when he went!
Male Pax (Husband): (Crossly) You should know that lad.
Me: Well, I've never been into the girls toilets on the aircraft before, but what were you doing in there anyway? (Being cheeky again).
Male Pax: Oh shi!t, was that the girls? I didn't see the sign!
Me: Well, how embarassing, you won't do that again will ya? (winking at wife).
Female pax wet herself laughing!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: England
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When working for easyJet many moons ago, boarding at AMS;
Pax: Do you have a first class cabin?
Me: Certainly sir, (I opened the fwd toilet door), you have a cabin to yourself!
Me and the first row of pax found it funny anyway!
Pax: Do you have a first class cabin?
Me: Certainly sir, (I opened the fwd toilet door), you have a cabin to yourself!
Me and the first row of pax found it funny anyway!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Belgium
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Hello,
View from the other side (AF from CDG to Mauritius)
Me:(after the lunch)do you have a Cognac please?
Crew:do you know how much you paid your ticket?
Me: (realising at this time ..was surounded by pax with reduced price fare tickets)Certainly...and show my ticket (Full economy fare)
Crew:I bring you a Cognac in a minute.
Comments:how feel satisfied with this kind of answer (the first of course...)
Regards.
View from the other side (AF from CDG to Mauritius)
Me:(after the lunch)do you have a Cognac please?
Crew:do you know how much you paid your ticket?
Me: (realising at this time ..was surounded by pax with reduced price fare tickets)Certainly...and show my ticket (Full economy fare)
Crew:I bring you a Cognac in a minute.
Comments:how feel satisfied with this kind of answer (the first of course...)
Regards.
Join Date: May 2004
Location: all over the shop
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Originally Posted by angeloflight
Me: Certainly sir, (I opened the fwd toilet door), you have a cabin to yourself!
Thats priceless, I love it...
I hate the ones who like to make wise cracks.
CC Please make sure your window blind is up please
PA Why will it make it go faster?
CC No but if the engine falls off or blows up you will see it and you can tell the crew.
CC Please make sure your window blind is up please
PA Why will it make it go faster?
CC No but if the engine falls off or blows up you will see it and you can tell the crew.
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Dublin
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I have a very plain dulcit Irish Accent...Im from higher middle class part of dublin so for those of you who know will be able to tell for yourself.
But the other morning on approach to LHR some american passenger asked me for directions through the terminal for a connecting flight.
As soon as I finished explaining "Flight Connections" he siddenly stopped me, shouting at me saying that he could not understand me and demanded that I SPEAK AMERICAN!!! I just laughed at him and said he would have major problems in Scotland (thats where he was traveling to) if he didnt understand me!!!!
But the other morning on approach to LHR some american passenger asked me for directions through the terminal for a connecting flight.
As soon as I finished explaining "Flight Connections" he siddenly stopped me, shouting at me saying that he could not understand me and demanded that I SPEAK AMERICAN!!! I just laughed at him and said he would have major problems in Scotland (thats where he was traveling to) if he didnt understand me!!!!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: London
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I have a very plain dulcit Irish Accent...Im from higher middle class part of dublin so for those of you who know will be able to tell for yourself.
But the other morning on approach to LHR some american passenger asked me for directions through the terminal for a connecting flight.
As soon as I finished explaining "Flight Connections" he siddenly stopped me, shouting at me saying that he could not understand me and demanded that I SPEAK AMERICAN!!! I just laughed at him and said he would have major problems in Scotland (thats where he was traveling to) if he didnt understand me!!!!
But the other morning on approach to LHR some american passenger asked me for directions through the terminal for a connecting flight.
As soon as I finished explaining "Flight Connections" he siddenly stopped me, shouting at me saying that he could not understand me and demanded that I SPEAK AMERICAN!!! I just laughed at him and said he would have major problems in Scotland (thats where he was traveling to) if he didnt understand me!!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Spain
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hotels
sort of like the hotel i am in just now
its peak season and ppl come in asking for rooms
we say we´re full and they ask..
but not even half board or bed and breakfast!!
its peak season and ppl come in asking for rooms
we say we´re full and they ask..
but not even half board or bed and breakfast!!
FX Guru
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Greenwich
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apaddy - American spoken in the days of yore was very much similar to Irish! Heard the accent on Newfoundland or some of the islands off the eastern seaboard?
More Olde Irish/English than 'American'!
Hope the obnoxious twerp tried his attitude on some characters in a dodgy pub in Glasgow. He won't be out of hospital yet!
More Olde Irish/English than 'American'!
Hope the obnoxious twerp tried his attitude on some characters in a dodgy pub in Glasgow. He won't be out of hospital yet!
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
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Revenge of the SLF - on the SLF!
My wife and I were passengers on a Southwest Airlines flight from Houston to Phoenix AZ a few summers ago - lots of thunderstorms, delays, extra security checks, more delays, typical gawdawful airline experience.
We were determined not to let it get us down, partly because through a bit of sweet-talking the gate agent upgraded us to first class, seats 1A and 1B, YES!
Anyway, when we finally boarded, the cabin crew was obviously (as you say over there) knackered, so we told them that WE would do the passenger greetings for them, go sit down and relax. Surprisingly, they said go for it - so we did - and every person who got on the airplane after us was greeted with "Thank you for flying Southwest! We're glad to have you on board!"
Well it seems the person sitting in 1E was not very happy about all this - he KNEW the weather was crappy solely and specifically for HIS personal discomfiture, and this was all Southwest's fault - and the idea that anyone at all could have a good time - my wife and I, and the two exhausted stews, was just too much for him. He rolled his eyes in disgust each time we greeted anyone (about 90 people), and each time he did, the stews (and we) had to restrain ourselves from laughing - we all knew he couldn't stand it, and we were quite deliberately baiting him with each progressively cheerier greeting. (The passengers loved it, too, and the pilot and co-pilot were also in on it.)
Finally everyone was on board and we were ready to go. I turned to the cabin crew (whose dispositions had by now considerably brightened) and said, "OK, we're all set, and I'm ready to fly the airplane now - do you need to see my pilot's license?"
"Mr. Happiness" about died - turned white as a sheet, the two stews broke out laughing - and we were treated ROYALLY for the entire flight - and somehow they were always just too busy to get Mr. Happiness so much as a glass of water. He was first off the airplane, too.
This is a true story . . . and I do have a pilot's license, but not for the big iron.
Best Regards,
Echo Mike
We were determined not to let it get us down, partly because through a bit of sweet-talking the gate agent upgraded us to first class, seats 1A and 1B, YES!
Anyway, when we finally boarded, the cabin crew was obviously (as you say over there) knackered, so we told them that WE would do the passenger greetings for them, go sit down and relax. Surprisingly, they said go for it - so we did - and every person who got on the airplane after us was greeted with "Thank you for flying Southwest! We're glad to have you on board!"
Well it seems the person sitting in 1E was not very happy about all this - he KNEW the weather was crappy solely and specifically for HIS personal discomfiture, and this was all Southwest's fault - and the idea that anyone at all could have a good time - my wife and I, and the two exhausted stews, was just too much for him. He rolled his eyes in disgust each time we greeted anyone (about 90 people), and each time he did, the stews (and we) had to restrain ourselves from laughing - we all knew he couldn't stand it, and we were quite deliberately baiting him with each progressively cheerier greeting. (The passengers loved it, too, and the pilot and co-pilot were also in on it.)
Finally everyone was on board and we were ready to go. I turned to the cabin crew (whose dispositions had by now considerably brightened) and said, "OK, we're all set, and I'm ready to fly the airplane now - do you need to see my pilot's license?"
"Mr. Happiness" about died - turned white as a sheet, the two stews broke out laughing - and we were treated ROYALLY for the entire flight - and somehow they were always just too busy to get Mr. Happiness so much as a glass of water. He was first off the airplane, too.
This is a true story . . . and I do have a pilot's license, but not for the big iron.
Best Regards,
Echo Mike
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UK
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Once upon a flight-
Announcement "Ladies & gentlemen, just to make you aware that we have completely run out of sandwiches, sorry for the inconvenience"
10 seconds later- PAX next to me, when cc asked what he would like to eat: 'what sandwiches have you got?'
CC: Sorry sir, as we have just announced- we have completely run out'
PAX: what none atall?
CC: No, not one left.
PAX: Not even a plain one?
CC: No, no sandwiches whatsoever.
PAX: well im not happy about this atall.
CC: very sorry sir
PAX: can't you even make me one, or give me one from the crew's supply?
CC: er.. no because there isnt any bread or filling and we crew do not have any either...sorry!
PAX: (turns to me) We are paying their wages and they cant even find a spare sandwich...
LOL
I might sound like a dim pax now but:
Why do the window blinds have to go up on landing?!
Just curious...
Announcement "Ladies & gentlemen, just to make you aware that we have completely run out of sandwiches, sorry for the inconvenience"
10 seconds later- PAX next to me, when cc asked what he would like to eat: 'what sandwiches have you got?'
CC: Sorry sir, as we have just announced- we have completely run out'
PAX: what none atall?
CC: No, not one left.
PAX: Not even a plain one?
CC: No, no sandwiches whatsoever.
PAX: well im not happy about this atall.
CC: very sorry sir
PAX: can't you even make me one, or give me one from the crew's supply?
CC: er.. no because there isnt any bread or filling and we crew do not have any either...sorry!
PAX: (turns to me) We are paying their wages and they cant even find a spare sandwich...
LOL
I might sound like a dim pax now but:
Why do the window blinds have to go up on landing?!
Just curious...
Last edited by beana; 14th Sep 2006 at 14:05.
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: luton
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It's to accustomise your eyes etc. to the conditions outside. In the event of an accident where the pax have to disembark quickly, they won't suffer from things such as night blindness.
Any help?
Any help?
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: MN
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This is a GREAT STORY
Possibly an urban myth, but here goes...
L/H preparing to depart from a certain republic in the Southern Hemisphere where they play rugby.
Economy class, gentleman of colour quietly seated awaiting departure when elderly woman not of colour approaches her seat next to said gentleman.
Elderly woman then approaches CC, staing firmly that she can't possibly be expected to sit next to said gentleman for such a long flight. CC replies "Of course, ma'am, I'll see what I can do"; goes forward.
CC returns a few minutes later and says to the old girl, "Ma'am, we've found a solution to your situation", turns to the gent and says, "Sir, if you'd like to follow me, we have a spare seat in first class for you".
L/H preparing to depart from a certain republic in the Southern Hemisphere where they play rugby.
Economy class, gentleman of colour quietly seated awaiting departure when elderly woman not of colour approaches her seat next to said gentleman.
Elderly woman then approaches CC, staing firmly that she can't possibly be expected to sit next to said gentleman for such a long flight. CC replies "Of course, ma'am, I'll see what I can do"; goes forward.
CC returns a few minutes later and says to the old girl, "Ma'am, we've found a solution to your situation", turns to the gent and says, "Sir, if you'd like to follow me, we have a spare seat in first class for you".
You should have seen how sugary sweet and congratulatory the passengers got towards my coworker as they deplaned. Ms. Edwards and I became great friends and we always had a laugh on how we pulled one over on those rascals...
Last edited by MNBluestater; 16th Sep 2006 at 06:52.