The Most Embarrassing Private Jet Flight Of All Time
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: North
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About 35 years ago, when I was even younger pilot than now, I used to fly a Cessna 320. Six seats, including pilot, entrance/exit over the wing and obviously no facilities whatsoever. I always tried to discreetly give a hint to the passengers, before departure, that this is the last chance to visit restroom before our destination. On one occasion I think I had five passengers, and one of them - the one who was seated on the seat on my right side - had not listened my pre-boarding briefing. After about an hour into the three hour flight he started to become a bit restless, and then started wondering if there is any chance of relieving his bladder. There were no empty bottles or anything on board, and rest of the group (me included) did not fancy an "emergency" landing. Finally, one of the passengers found a condom in his wallet. Now, try to imagine how difficult it is to fly an aeroplane with a straight face, when the passenger sitting next to you is peeing into a condom... Rest of the flight he kept the yellow balloon on his lap, and delivered it to the nearest thrash bin at the destination.
This episode really boosted my confidence in the durability of Durex...
This episode really boosted my confidence in the durability of Durex...
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sussex
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Small Cabin / Big Problem
Many moons ago when I was working for an operator of small piston engine aircraft, we undertook a flight to Le Mans on a PA34. The client was making a day-return for business lunch and upon arrival to Le Mans, the client advised the captain that he would return around 1600 after a lunch. The client and his two colleagues did indeed return for 1600 departure as planned, albeit a little worse for wear.
Not long after departure, the passenger tapped the captain on the shoulder and asked if there was a bathroom facility or something he could use: on the PA34 clearly not !! The captain advised that we are passing Caen Airport and if really needed he could put down, the passenger then advsied that he could wait for the hour or so that remained. A short time after, the captain noted that there was a rather unpleasant aroma in the small PA34 cabin, he turned around to see not more than 5 feet from his nostrils was the horror; the entire contents of the “coolbag” that provided the light catering had been strewn around the spare seat in the back and the client calming “zipping up” what should have been the now empty coolbag. It was however clear, that the poor coolbag had been subjected to more than just passing the English Channel !! Upon arrival the client presented the captain with the aforementioned coolbag along with a £50 tip !
The happy part of the story is that the Captain of the PA34 is now the Captain on a CL604 where happily he shouldn’t have to encounter any more unpleasant stories like this, it seems that perhaps the only crap he will receive nowadays will be from ops, the broker or the passengers
Not long after departure, the passenger tapped the captain on the shoulder and asked if there was a bathroom facility or something he could use: on the PA34 clearly not !! The captain advised that we are passing Caen Airport and if really needed he could put down, the passenger then advsied that he could wait for the hour or so that remained. A short time after, the captain noted that there was a rather unpleasant aroma in the small PA34 cabin, he turned around to see not more than 5 feet from his nostrils was the horror; the entire contents of the “coolbag” that provided the light catering had been strewn around the spare seat in the back and the client calming “zipping up” what should have been the now empty coolbag. It was however clear, that the poor coolbag had been subjected to more than just passing the English Channel !! Upon arrival the client presented the captain with the aforementioned coolbag along with a £50 tip !
The happy part of the story is that the Captain of the PA34 is now the Captain on a CL604 where happily he shouldn’t have to encounter any more unpleasant stories like this, it seems that perhaps the only crap he will receive nowadays will be from ops, the broker or the passengers
Join Date: May 2001
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That's a bit naughty leaving the crews details uncovered.
Chop the header off it and the CP's signature block.
And here is vid that's been doing the rounds.
Mods if its inappropriate I apologise please delete. Made me laugh.
Chop the header off it and the CP's signature block.
And here is vid that's been doing the rounds.
Mods if its inappropriate I apologise please delete. Made me laugh.
Last edited by mad_jock; 9th Nov 2013 at 08:11.
Join Date: May 2001
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Well tray surfer.
On one of my types it has a cassette toilet which lives behind a door which then swings across the cabin to give some privacy and room for your knees.
One day we felt the usual trim change as someone went down the back to use it.
A minute later a the hostie appeared and announced there was an old lady in the toilet. Yes yes we said we felt the trim change. No look was her reply.
The Door wasn't across the cabin it was in its not being used position.
The space once that door is shut is about 75x75cm across by 1 meter high with just a hole.
And I once did a charter which was due to the wife of a rather famous African leader having to squeeze one out in the cool box in a kingair with the rest of the cabinet watching on. And being a bit of a big girl the Defence General had to help out wiping for her. I managed to cover most of the sports bar in the Gorge and Dragon in Dar Es Salaam when told that by the King Air pilot who was flying it at the time.
On one of my types it has a cassette toilet which lives behind a door which then swings across the cabin to give some privacy and room for your knees.
One day we felt the usual trim change as someone went down the back to use it.
A minute later a the hostie appeared and announced there was an old lady in the toilet. Yes yes we said we felt the trim change. No look was her reply.
The Door wasn't across the cabin it was in its not being used position.
The space once that door is shut is about 75x75cm across by 1 meter high with just a hole.
And I once did a charter which was due to the wife of a rather famous African leader having to squeeze one out in the cool box in a kingair with the rest of the cabinet watching on. And being a bit of a big girl the Defence General had to help out wiping for her. I managed to cover most of the sports bar in the Gorge and Dragon in Dar Es Salaam when told that by the King Air pilot who was flying it at the time.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hailey, ID
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On a ski trip from Wichita to Colorado many years ago in a T210, one of the passengers really needed to go No. 1. Looked around, found one of the plastic bags the O2 masks came in, and after he was finished, slowed down, opened a side window and disposed of te bag. Some farmer in western Kansas probably wondered why it was raining on a clear morning.
PPRuNe Handmaiden
The Challenger 350 does not have a separate loo for the crew. Yes, occasionally we have to do the walk of shame.
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Wor Yerm
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I have no doubt the story is true. What it shows is the dreadfully low professional standards of investment bankers and their attitudes towards their clients. Getting caught short for medical reasons is understandable but not for an own goal. Professionals do not get ratted the night before and expect others to pay the price for their excesses. It was pleasing to hear this was an unpleasant and embarrassing moment for all concerned. It couldn’t have happened to more deserving people. Did I mention I can not stand bankers?
Loves the bottle episode.
PM
Loves the bottle episode.
PM
