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Blind BEA Viscount Captain.

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Blind BEA Viscount Captain.

Old 20th Sep 2020, 13:56
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John Welford loved playing little games with ATC staff. I recall one day in July, 1970 when I was acting as Briefing Officer in Heathrow AIS (in the old Queen's Building).
Capt.Welford arrived to collect the daily Briefing Notes and realised that there was a new ATCA with me in AIS. He winked at me, and in his usual bellowing voice, asked for the latest Snow State for Malaga. I sent the new lad to find the SNOTAM file, which, of course was empty (temperature at Malaga was in the high 30's C.). New lad comes back to Welford and says "Sorry, the file is empty", whereby the dear Captain stormed off, muttering about the incompetence of the system and that he hoped he would not have to divert from Malaga due to the runway conditions.
It took a few minutes for the new lad to realise that he had been duped by one of Heathrow's "characters"...with a little help from me..!
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Old 20th Sep 2020, 16:37
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Lance , had a very happy time flying for BA HD on ATPs , and yes were were young enough to blow up the lifejacket on the P/A , don't forget '' the whistle to attract attention '' . That worked well on P/A , and the Berlin or Highland 'gurls' were worth wolf whistling for / at ...... Plus , pax certainly paid attention to safety briefings .
Skipper on Tridents had a blind pax in cockpit to ''see'' the landing into Glasgow . the guide dog enjoyed it as well . I know , as I was flying the approach for the skippers landing ....

rgds condor

PS if BLIND PEW is reading , please can he empty his PM box to allow more in , Ta ...
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Old 20th Sep 2020, 19:13
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The story I heard about Johnny 'Full Tanks' Welford (no idea where that nickname came from) was that there had been a management complaint that he was not doing enough in his in-flight PAs to entertain the pax. On his next flight he appeared from the flight deck into the cabin, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a guitar, and sang to the pax. I heard this at White Waltham; perhaps he had been a member there.
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Old 20th Sep 2020, 19:26
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All the same stories I heard about Captain Thompson! I presume the version I read had the name changed to protect the guilty! The passenger entertainment story I heard was that he would strum a ukulele and sing "When I'm Cleaning Windows"...
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Old 21st Sep 2020, 10:40
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I did a jumpseat ride to Madrid with Debonair on a 146, the Captain (unfortunately I can't remember his name, and is now no longer with us) was a bit of a character, especially with his PAs. On the outbound leg he was doing his pre departure PA when he announced that he had an ATCO (me) up the front and if we got a slot delay he would give me a slap round the head. On the way back he announced over the PA that it was the seniour Cabin Crews last flight, as she was leaving because she was pregnant (she wasn't!) and would everybody wish her well in finding the father! This was soon followed by her storming into the flight deck to announce her displeasure!
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Old 21st Sep 2020, 12:22
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Being miserable by nature, I tend to find all these stories and "characters" rather tedious, but...
The passenger entertainment story I heard was that he would strum a ukulele and sing "When I'm Cleaning Windows"...
...now you're talking!

2 s
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Old 21st Sep 2020, 17:49
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Harry Mills - a blast from the past - one of the true gentlemen in BOAC - one of my favourite Captains on the VC10. He flew the VC10 (reluctantly) in Gulf Air when they bought five from BOAC but missed the Islander.
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Old 21st Sep 2020, 18:29
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Originally Posted by Hew Jampton
The story I heard about Johnny 'Full Tanks' Welford (no idea where that nickname came from) was that there had been a management complaint that he was not doing enough in his in-flight PAs to entertain the pax. On his next flight he appeared from the flight deck into the cabin, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a guitar, and sang to the pax. I heard this at White Waltham; perhaps he had been a member there.
There are five pages about John Welford in Bill Innes' 'Flight from the Croft' (see here). The 'I might fly this thing myself' story is included, but the author also explains that this particular tale did the rounds for many years and got embellished in every retelling. Some of these same anecdotes are in an earlier book, Bob Price's 'Life on the Airliners' (this one), but I guess that in 1991 Captain Welford was still around as names have been carefully omitted. A nice one from Innes' book was that Welford kept a one-move-a-day chess game going by transmitting his move on a common frequency during his daily flight so Sumburgh. The next day his opponent, a controller on the same frequency, would transmit his counter move. The author, his co-pilot for a two-week rotation, didn't know what was happening at first and thought that Welford had lost his marbles.
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 04:39
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Elderly female passenger visiting the flight deck at night, asked the Capt. how could he see to know where to go ? Well Madam, he replied, look out of this window and can you see a red light on the end of the wing ? Yes, she confirmed. Now, look out of that other window, can you see a green light ? Yes. Well, I just have to keep steering between them. How clever, she said, I always wondered.

Completing the pre-start checks, the door opened and a female voice said " What winks, whistles, and f8cks like Tiger ?" We turned around to see one of our stewardesses winking and whistling. ( and no, I can't confirm !! )

On an early 707 flight across the USA from LFK to LAX, none of us had flown across the whole country before, and the Capt had brought a Continental road map, and referred to it from time to time to indicate various well known landmarks and cities of interest. A passenger visiting the forward toilet, and with the flight deck door in its usual open position, said " Jeez, don;t you guys know where to go ?"

The Blind Dog incident reminds me. In command MCR/PIK/JFK and during the stop at Prestwick I was walking through the cabin, and a pax asked me if he could possibly check on the status of his dog, accompanying him, but in the rear hold. Maybe he could let him stretch his legs, maybe cock one, and give him a drink and check on the supply of water in his travelling cage ? I explained that he couldn't do that, but maybe I could check the status of the dog for him ? Reaching the back of the aircraft I noticed the baggage loaders stood back, and the rear hold still mostly closed. Don't go near there, they said, there's a dangerous animal loose. I saw a black snout sniffing at a crack in the partly cracked open door, and assuming that it might be passengers dog, I told the loaders that it was only a dog, and promptly opened the door, to be immediately engulfed in the ministrations of a happy Labrador, delighted to be set free and trying to lick me to death. Fearful that it might runaway I clung on to it, and tried to get one of the loaders to come and help me, but eventually had to roll around with the dog whilst I released my belt and fashioned a leash around its neck to help keep hold of it. Eventually order was restored and the happy dog led away. The passenger said he had only made the travelling cage the night before, and hadn't tried it out, but the dog had managed to break out and roam around the hold in flight. Pax. and dog were offloaded.

Last edited by ExSp33db1rd; 22nd Sep 2020 at 04:58.
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 09:18
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Post 25, Debonair Captain, any takers on the late-lamented Ray Godfrey? We left together at the end for a turbo-prop operation.
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 12:59
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Sounds like the sort of trick Ray would play. I knew him in AirUK days, and he was always up for a laugh.
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 13:59
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Originally Posted by treadigraph
The passenger entertainment story I heard was that he would strum a ukulele and sing "When I'm Cleaning Windows"...
I've been aware of the story of the ukulele-playing BEA pilot, on the Highlands and Islands run, for over 60 years!
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 15:06
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Post 25, Debonair Captain, any takers on the late-lamented Ray Godfrey?

It wasn't Ray Godfrey, when Debonair went bust he went back to Belgium and later unfortunately passed away after a short illness. his name will probably come back to me at some point!
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 15:19
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Ray Godfrey

Went to Suckling after Debonair, several did.
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 16:57
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lobao

My father (BEA Senior Traffic Officer GCI, JER and Station Supt SOU) also recalled the antics of Johnny Welford, who performed number of "tricks" on unsuspecting passengers and staff in Jersey and Guernsey in the late 1940's and early 1950s. In my book "An Illustrated History of BEA" I refer to him as Captain "welman" because I suspected he was still alive at the time of writing. Regarding ops in the Highlands & Islands, I flew from Campbeltown to Islay in a Viscount on a very murky day with the altimeter showing 350ft. When we picked up the coast of Islay the crew followed the road until they came to the airfield when a tight circuit and landing brought the papers and mail. Jack Ridgeway was Station Supt there then before he moved to Kirkwall.
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 17:51
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The things we could do in the days when passengers had a sense of humour, instead of a videophone and an internet link.
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Old 22nd Sep 2020, 20:56
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Sometimes passengers can turn the tables..................

For a long while Gulf Air ran a daily F27 service from Bahrain to Abu Dhabi, timed to connect with the first charter rotation to Das Island. It was used pretty much exclusively by oil company staff working their 21 days on, 7 days off system.

One day the GF catering manager decided that the clientele on this service deserved a better breakfast, stylishly served. And so it came about that the FAs had work their way down the cabin handing out plates and cutlery, then one would hand out bread rolls and butter, followed by the other with a large "country wife" basket filled with 80 hard-boiled eggs, 2 per passenger.

It didn't take long. One morning, a grizzled toolpusher, seated near the front had a dreadful fit of coughing just as the eggs got to his row. Quick as a flash, his neighbour said to the FA "I'll hold the eggs, please quickly get him a glass of water." She did that, the toolpusher recovered quickly, she collected her basket, and the egg handout was resumed.

5 minutes later, mayhem They had substituted all the hardboiled eggs with uncooked ones, and all down the cabin these has been smashed against the edge of the seatback trays.................
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Old 23rd Sep 2020, 09:51
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2-sheds: you don't HAVE to read . Take a quick look at this though. LHR to BAH, load of new joining CC. Two by two, I entertained the FD visits. Sliding past Istanbul, lovely northern lass asked "Captain, where are we ?" I looked out of the window, and gave her the answer inviting her to share the view. She then said " is this near Barwain ?". I did the math and said "well, getting closer at 8 miles every minute." She stepped back and said ; "yeah, you can feeeeeel it gettin warmer." !
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Old 23rd Sep 2020, 10:31
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Easyjet hostess just after landing at Luton : "Please remain seated until the aircraft has come to a full stop. This is because the captain is a brilliant pilot but a terrible driver."
Later: "Thank you for flying Easyjet, we hope you enjoyed your flight. If you didn't , thank you for flying Ryanair."
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Old 23rd Sep 2020, 12:14
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Hi, Old ,not Bold. The story of the hard boiled eggs reminded me of a BOAC
situation at MAN. Speedbird operated a couple of B707 freighters, G-ASZF
and G-ASZG through MAN The story was that the Flt Deck crews had
demanded a steward be on board (rumour had it,) that one of the stewards
allocated to freighters had been suspended from pax flts for "Striking" a pax.
I had a visit one early morning at BE from Geoff Hargreaves, a friend and,
duty manager at BOAC cargo, asking if I would like some fresh eggs.
The capt. refused the move the aircraft until they had eggs for breakfast.
Geoff drove to a farm in Styal, near MAN, and bought 144 eggs, giving the
cpt. 6. The rest are history.
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