Australia, New Zealand & the Pacific Airline and RPT Rumours & News in Australia, enZed and the Pacific

THIS WEEK IN OZ 24 MARCH

Old 25th Mar 2012, 05:58
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THIS WEEK IN OZ 24 MARCH

Some dear Readers were concerned that a few previous dispatches were lacking things aeronautical, some thought political; others understand the irreverence begun by Mr Spike Milligan must continue.

Were there, many and varied things aeronautical, to bring to the reader’s attention one would naturally be quick to relate such good tidings, alas however, things aeronautical in OZ suffer from alot of fools both in the Government and matters of a Business nature. We punters however long ago recognised that most of what abounded belonged in the realm of fantasy or madness, how else could one explain the appearance of reality television and the appearance of performers and pretenders for once what was the body politick or boardrooms. We all know it is a bit of a circus except for the bits we all do daily and after all as the Thai’s like tosay, it is ‘Sagun’. So let’s begun.

The Girrard has kept moving with Big Things this week getting the job done, we know they must be really big because everyone including Surfer Wayne says they are, we are not sure if they are referring to the elephant patties out back or the size of the tent. Ringmaster Albo has been involved in something called ‘infrastructure’ but careful gleaning of various dispatches and promos by Albo could detect nothing aeronautical, now curiously it so happended that a matter of some importance aeronautical had arisen this week with serious ramifications for the performance of the aerial acts in OZ but Albo could not fit them into his introduction to the week’s performance of exciting and upcoming performances at the Big Top. It seems the clerical support act out back, the Commonwealth Boys, decided that the Virgin is free to roam and still call Australia home but the Roo is bound by a Holy Act and thus must be kept constrained with a golden chain. In a search resembling the holy grail of lore, St Alan continues his search for the golden key to release the Roo. The funeral eulogy was read to the audience about the former Strategic whizzo’s last days and a clearing sale is now to be had. Don Carr’s hypnotic spell wore off when it was realised he had claimed to hypnotise an orphans parents in foreign lands and this was put down to merely to a lack of synchronisation with the way the clown heads turn, all heads were spinning now.

The stand-ins and the replacement act for the Girard’s current season continue to surprise and the Big Guy Joe continues to fudge his lines and let the dog do his homework, lead player Tony continues to dabble with a variety of roles with which he hopes to soon replace the Girard’s family fun show’. Some wiser heads are not so sure that audiences want more of the 'Haunted House and Ghost Trains', time will tell no doubt, I would put on a good cup of tea in the meantime. Critical punters will have noted there is no indication of any aerial act or boost yet being touted for the replacement performers show either. All viewers however agreed that somehow the fools show who were part of the Commonwealth Boys franchise and the one that preceded all things aeronautical in OZ had to be canned and their license to sell hot dogs removed before they poisoned any more punters.

Australian Avian Boy Scout the Dickie has been caught short playing the beetroot market and has to give away 100,000 cans of the finest example of the product on the Manly Corso this weekend. One hopes all those of an aeronauticalpersuasion grabbed a can as it is the only freebie you’re ever likely to get from the Dickie and now you have the NAS plans appropriately canned andpreserved. Coles and Woolies have been shorting beetroot for weeks and the planned demise of Brand Dickie by the Coles brothers is now underway. Punters going to and from the Lowy Shows will be more than pleased.

Inflexibility in parts of the A380 wing structure continues to concern, this aeroplane is starting to look like it is going to become very expensive to look after for some.

Gravely and sadly two funerals this week, one for a really wonderful person and woman, Margaret Whitlam, and the other for the Queensland Labour Brand of side show so beloved by moustachioed hucksters. The Mad Hatter now has two of his cousins at the tea party and some bloke with two surnames is running the new tropical circus.

And that was it for the week in Oz, until next week good night and good evening. Yep and it is all bollocks!

Last edited by grip pipe; 25th Mar 2012 at 06:21.
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Old 25th Mar 2012, 09:27
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Old 25th Mar 2012, 12:26
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Bollocks

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Old 25th Mar 2012, 20:59
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GPT - Ringmaster Albo has been involved in something called ‘infrastructure’ but careful gleaning of various dispatches and promos by Albo could detect nothing aeronautical, now curiously it so happened that a matter of some importance aeronautical had arisen this week with serious ramifications for the performance of the aerial acts in OZ but Albo could not fit them into his introduction to the week’s performance of exciting and upcoming performances at the Big Top.
Seagoon: Aha ha ha (nervously), what a grand chap! Aha ha! Much as I hate to say it, he... he doesn't seem the man for the job.
Greenslade: Well, there's his brother, Mad Dan.
Eccles: Hallo! Do you like animals?
Seagoon: Yes.
Eccles: Ok, you can pat my head.
Seagoon Do you know anything about lamp-posts?
Eccles: Ohahahooh! Yeah! Um, er, go on, go on! 'Ere, ere, go on... ask me a question about a lamp-post. Ask me a question!
Seagoon: Ok. What is a lamp-post?
Eccles: Oho! The hard ones first, eh! (Goes mad.)
Seagoon: Mr. Greenslade, Mr. Greenslade... somehow, I don't think this... this, this gentleman here...
Eccles: What, what, what, gentlem... you... Ah! Gentleman! You be careful what you call me! You, erm... you heard of Hyde Park?
Seagoon: Yes.
Eccles: Well you just watch out then.
Seagoon: We'll have to advertise for a man. We'll write one on a cigarette and put it in a tobacconist's window.
That folks was the Goon show, and yes it's all bollocks.
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