ATC Humour (Merged)
More than just an ATCO
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Up someone's nose
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The Emirates story
Launched on 25th October 1985, Emirates is the international airline of the United Arab Emirates, based in Dubai.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: U.S.
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: A Paddy in Paris
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My brother was so bad at geography class in school we were amazed he could find his way home.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubai
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubai
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: U.S.
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My brother was so bad at geography class in school we were amazed he could find his way home.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubai
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubai
FYI, I was born and brought up in Dubai so I know my geography of the Middle-East pretty well..
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: UK
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CFI Humour
Heard by me at EGTB (Booker) Yep we have three letter ICAO too.
CFI walks in clubhouse after fliight and asks the receptionists:
"When XXXXXXX arrives can you ask him to pop in for a chat. Just interested to know where exactly the word Bol****s appears in the Radio Telephony Manual".
Was going to stay and watch the discussion, but I have never been a supporter of blood sports.
CFI walks in clubhouse after fliight and asks the receptionists:
"When XXXXXXX arrives can you ask him to pop in for a chat. Just interested to know where exactly the word Bol****s appears in the Radio Telephony Manual".
Was going to stay and watch the discussion, but I have never been a supporter of blood sports.
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: T.C.
Age: 56
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A few years ago I was working on EGKK ground. Aircraft landed with an awkward callsign. I stumbled over it on my first transmission, pilot responded, " yes sorry bit of a mouthful isn't it"
My instant reply, " funny the wife said that just last night!!!!" Stunned silence on the frequency followed by lots of stifled giggles from both me and the pilots!!!
My instant reply, " funny the wife said that just last night!!!!" Stunned silence on the frequency followed by lots of stifled giggles from both me and the pilots!!!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Isle Of Man
Age: 36
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This prooves nothing really goes on here at Ronaldsway:
Ground: Tower, just to let you know there appears to be a dead rat inbetween the apron and taxiway charlie
Tower: Have you tried the kiss of life?
Ground: Tower, just to let you know there appears to be a dead rat inbetween the apron and taxiway charlie
Tower: Have you tried the kiss of life?
A lady rang the airport complaints desk after a practice div and low go-around by a Tornado F3 and said, "My pussy's just climbed up the wall!"
I would have been tempted to answer, "Madam, some women would be grateful for that experience!"
I would have been tempted to answer, "Madam, some women would be grateful for that experience!"
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: UK
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PIK
Heard at PIK while holding for departure about 5 years ago.
KLM 777 training, making some fairly wide right hand circuits on 31.
RSC177 Sea King inbound from the north at about 500ft, to land on the H to the north of the runway.
KLM calls downwind at about the same time as the Sea King. ATC tells KLM to call on final and the Sea King to report final to the H. After about 30 seconds of silence a concerned KLM calls up asking for the circuit position of the RSC as they cannot see him. ATC reply "He is downwind also but will be coming inside you".
KLM 777 training, making some fairly wide right hand circuits on 31.
RSC177 Sea King inbound from the north at about 500ft, to land on the H to the north of the runway.
KLM calls downwind at about the same time as the Sea King. ATC tells KLM to call on final and the Sea King to report final to the H. After about 30 seconds of silence a concerned KLM calls up asking for the circuit position of the RSC as they cannot see him. ATC reply "He is downwind also but will be coming inside you".
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Valencia (Spain)
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On a not very crowded spanish airport (to be honest, one plane and one controller on the whole airspace). A local carrier plane slowly begins to taxi.
ATC: "xxx, ready to copy?
XXX: "Affirm, go ahead!"
ATC: "Okay, copy a hundred times "I will not taxi without being instructed to do so"
...
...
XXX: "Sorry Sir. We forgot you were there
"
.
ATC: "xxx, ready to copy?
XXX: "Affirm, go ahead!"
ATC: "Okay, copy a hundred times "I will not taxi without being instructed to do so"
...
...
XXX: "Sorry Sir. We forgot you were there
".
)
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: South of Beirut, North of Aden
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quote:
As far as I know, there is no national United Arab Emirates airline..... Different airliens are owned by the different emirates..
Etihad is the national carrier. Emirates were prevented from calling themselves Dubai Airlines by the government to present a more united front to the world................ Apparently.
As far as I know, there is no national United Arab Emirates airline..... Different airliens are owned by the different emirates..
Etihad is the national carrier. Emirates were prevented from calling themselves Dubai Airlines by the government to present a more united front to the world................ Apparently.
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Marlow
Age: 74
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Many years ago I was being checked out on the Seaford Military position at LATCC. I had under my control a formation of 8 USAF F4s which I was trying to hand to the French Military (those that have done it will understand both the complexity and uncertainity of this mission) when the French, completely unnanounced,presented me with an opposite direction same level formation of 6 USAF F111s. Having ascertained they would miss, but not by much, I geared my self up to transmit the necessary traffic information when my boss, who was examining me, switch the microphone to his side & transmitted:
"All Americans look left and wave"
Made me laugh so years later, when I was an examiner, I found myself screening a nervous young controller who had 2 Finningly ac about to pass close to each other at the same level. Before he could transmit traffic information I nonchalantly switched the mike and transmitted:
"All Finningly ac look left and wave"
Theres was a short pause before one the ac replied "We're India Mike Charlie"
"All Americans look left and wave"
Made me laugh so years later, when I was an examiner, I found myself screening a nervous young controller who had 2 Finningly ac about to pass close to each other at the same level. Before he could transmit traffic information I nonchalantly switched the mike and transmitted:
"All Finningly ac look left and wave"
Theres was a short pause before one the ac replied "We're India Mike Charlie"
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Region 5 / Region 4 / and sometimes Region 8?
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I heard this the other day on the Lake Mead CTAF...two helicopters returning to Las Vegas from the Grand Canyon...
Helicopter xxx: Helicopter yyy, I'm at your seven o'clock, one mile... it looks like you're faster than me, I'll maintain visual separation.
Helicopter xxx: Helicopter yyy, I'm at your seven o'clock, one mile... it looks like you're faster than me, I'll maintain visual separation.