Wildest Layover

[Tart with the cart]

What's been your wildest layover? Mine was a couple of years back. I was 21, new and naive. Layover in Warsaw. Went out with the crew and got very drunk. Vodka was involved. Managed to fall over and bang my head, got badly bruised and vomited all over my hotel bed. Ah happy days. Never had a layover like that since. Thye're all kind of dull now and involve watching tv in my room and ordering room service.

:ouch: :O

[Hostie from Hell]

Best nights ever back in the good 'ol days used to be in FRA.

It wasnt a proper night stop unless you had broken the bed, set it alight then thrown it out the window.

Not the same anymore, thats why I am an EX H from H ;)

[ditzyboy]

There was 6 crews from my airline at this hotel bar and a girl from another base and I decided that too much shop talk was going on and set out on an adventure.

I remember singing on stage with a band and also being in a closed bar helping the staff count the money!!! I also remember a few "toilet scenes" at an infamous Hobart establishment and waking up in some stranger's lounge room! The time was 1330!!!

I asked as to my location and this nice guy and his partner said they took me home as I was not in a good way. I enquired as to the whereabouts of my female colleague and they knew nothing. I found this girl back at the hotel asleep in her bed. She couldn't remember much either.

Hell. It had to be good :D

[Parry Hotter]

I went out with the Captain and First officer for a few drinks. On an empty stomach was not the greatest idea. For the life of me, I can not remember how many drinks I ended up having. But I do remember falling face first into the toilet, and also walking down the street holding the Captain and First officers hands ( How embarresment :O )

I was glad that I woke up in my "own" hotel room and "alone" with my pants still ON!:\

But I had obviously ordered a club sambo when I stumbled into my room. The reason I knew this is cause i awoke with it in my hand, and just one bite missing.:ugh: But wait, it gets better....the bite I had taken was still in my mouth. I had fallen asleep after chewing it, and it sat in my mouth the entire night.:yuk: :yuk:

After the embarresment, and ill feeling the next morning, I decided to give up those club sambo's. Mum always did say to be careful when ordering chicken!:uhoh:

[SocialFlyer]

Parry Hotter

Nice One Mate.. Made me laugh, Total Class....

Cheers

SocialFlyer :ok:

[digna]

Was in MXP... nice hotel, the crew was multi-national and we were having a room party lots of red wine .... it was cold to go out we had so many dinks when we finshed the wine we started on whisky and vodka . I don't remember this but a girl told me that I asked the purser ( where is the manual ? she ansewerd me which one ? I said the one your boy freind uses when he wants to kiss you :{ on the flt back she made me do all the lavs.:*

[Hypoxic Harry]

I much prefer to have hot bath, with a G & T, then jump into bed and watch some TV. Feel all the better for it in the morning.

[cabin secure]

Parry Hotter

Nearly died with laughter reading your post!

Think it was the visual I got from your graphic detail:E

Gotta live life!

What sort of a life have you lived if you can't sit around telling all your nursing home mates several years of entertaining tales!:{

[747SP]

Parry Potter!!! your story was hilarious it made me chuckle alot and made this hotel room seem alot brighter!! bloody funny!!!
Well mine has to on a GCM/BGI trip! (never again mind) We all thought it would be just hilarious to go skinny dipping in the crystal clear water at night after a few to0 many mudslides and rum punches! (after a 10 hour flight) not a good idea! We set the sunbeds up along the beach and decided to have hurdle races then we raced to the sea dived in like something out of a movie! Out of a crew of 14, 10 participated in our activities!!! (not bad) However the queen of the AC thought it would be a good idea to pinch all our clothes (inc the capts)!!! one girl run after the queen and seeing as it was pitch black, she ran straight into him!! splitting her eyebrow open completely, the next thing there we are. all in the hospital watching her being sewn up, by a plastic surgeon!
Having to explain to our LSC was not fun in the days of good old Cali. But they were good trips and what else would one do with 7 days off down in BGI! Oh and just one more at the end of the trip our captain decided to throw one of the girls in the pool (whilst fully clothed) however she didnt have time to take her pussy boots off and started to sink to the bottom!!! YEP she survived! however those crazy days are well and truely over, but great to share stories!!

Ciao

[onya]

Very humorous narrative pasted here from another section of Pprune. Some of you may have read it, some may not, but either way it's hillarious.
Onya:p


QANTAS - The Spirit of Australia
The following letter is from the Qantas Flight Operations Newsletter dated June 96.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sir,

In your icy, indeed hostile, telephone call of yesterday, you requested a report about the alleged proceedings involving my crew at the Qantas 75th Birthday celebration at the slip port. As the reports from the local authorities and the head of the Australian legation were undoubtedly a complete fabrication, I take the opportunity to put the truth of the matter on file.

Qantas management's kind offer to "buy a round of drinks" was taken on board by the crew who decided to upgrade the event to its correct status, so appropriate quantities of libation and food were purchased, with festivities being held in my hotel suite.

An enjoyable evening ensued but insufficient supplies had been obtained, so several members of the crew left for further purchases at a local bar. In a truly magnanimous gesture, ten bar girls from that establishment helped carry the beer back to the hotel. To demonstrate our appreciation of their assistance, we served them some cool drink. They then offered to show us some local culture, and, in order not to offend, we allowed them to dance some exotic dances.

The banging on the walls of my room had, by now, quite honestly, become invasive, and it was disturbing the dancers, so we arranged an amusing little deterrent. S/0 Brown's impersonation of the Police Officer was excellent! In full Qantas uniform, with an aluminium rubbish bin upside down on his head, he goose-stepped to each room and harangued the occupants with a very witty diatribe about disturbing hotel guests. I personally heard nothing of his alleged threats of life in Alcatraz or the Gulags, claimed by the sister of the Minister of Police whose room was, unluckily, next door.

I have no doubt that this woman was the sneak who called security and hotel management and I absolutely refute that the shout "Look out, here come the Indians! Circle the wagons!" was made. The simple coincidence of security arriving just as we stood the double bed on its side across the door to make the dance floor bigger is obvious.

The major damage to the room occurred when a group of gate crashers, whom we could not know were hotel security, forced their way in just as most of us happened to be leaning against the bed watching the dancing.

The subsequent events in the foyer of the hotel are an equally vicious distortion of the facts. I was explaining the importance of the 75th Birthday to the General Manager of the hotel and noting that other guests were fabricating stories of noise, drinking and singing at the celebration, when F/O Smith (ex-SAS) and several other keep-fit enthusiasts, in keeping with their almost monastic pursuit of health, organised the race up the drapes which hang along the foyer wall. It says nothing for the workmanship of some of these nations that the fittings were torn from the wall before most of the crew were even halfway up.

At this stage, in an amazing display of international posturing, the Governor of the city, who was attending the National Day cocktail party in the foyer, cast some denigrating remarks about Australian culture. Although he misunderstood our gestures of greeting, female flight attendant Williams rescued the situation with her depth of knowledge of local culture.

Her rendition of the Fertility Dancing Maiden in the foyer's 'Pool of Remembrance' was nothing short of breathtaking. Normally this dance is performed wearing just a sarong skirt so FFA Williams' extra step to nature was a bold step forward.

Unfortunately, during one intricate step, FFA Williams slipped and fell beneath the fountain, so we were lucky that S/0 Brown, who had the great presence of mind to strip to avoid getting his uniform wet, leapt in to help. That the tiles of the pool were slippery is beyond dispute, as it took nearly ten minutes of threshing about before S/O Brown could actually complete his rescue. Such concern was there for these two exemplary crew member's safety, that the rest of the crew were forced to assist, and I deny that this massed altruistic rescue attempt could be construed as a 'Water Polo' game!

This slanderous accusation was first put to me by the Chief of the Riot Squad, whose storm troopers had apparently been called by some over zealous Fascists at the cocktail party.

Order had nearly been restored when the fire started.

I prefer F/O Smith's version of events that the drapes had caught fire from being against a light fitting, and that he dropped his cigarette lighter whilst trying to escape the flames. Had host management fulfilled their responsibilities and used fire retardant material instead of velvet, the fire would not have spread to the rest of the hotel.

The responsible attitude shown by my crew in assisting the bar staff to carry out drinks from the cocktail party is to be commended, not condemned, and the attempt by male members of the crew to extinguish pockets of fire using natural means has been totally misrepresented in some quarters. I cannot overstate how strongly I resent the assertions made in the Chief Fire Officer's Report.

I made an official protest about these matters when the head of the Australian Legation visited us at the Police Station the next morning. However, not only did Ambassador Jones not attempt to refute the preposterous allegations made against me and my crew, but also by failing to secure our release immediately, caused the subsequent aircraft delay.

I did not know Her Majesty was to be aboard our aircraft, but I am sure that her 12- hour visit to that country was appreciated by local dignitaries and probably HRH herself. (I must mention that the local manager is far too obsequious - Smarmy! Smarmy! You should have seen him bowing and scraping. Never make a Prime Minister, that chap!)

Finally, I note that not since 'Rainman' has Qantas been mentioned in so many newspapers. (Some people in Qantas would die for coverage like that.) The main newspaper at the slip port coincidentally mentioned Qantas 75 times on its front page alone, although some of the coupled epithets can only be described as the worst journalistic excesses of the gutter press.

I trust that now I have outlined the correct version of events, we may allow ourselves a discreet smile as to the lack of social sophistication of some of these developing nations and put all this behind us. As far as I am concerned, the crew carried on the finest Qantas traditions.

Regards,

Captain......

P.S. I checked amongst the language qualified members of the crew, but no one was up to speed on Latin. Can you recommend anyone in the International Department who could translate 'Persona Non Grata'?