QANTAS CABIN CREW - URBAN MYTHS or REALITY.....

[blueloo]

I have just been told a few fascinating senarios about Qantas Cabin Crew (by a QF hostie) 'Yen Men' (and i guess 'yen hens') [For those who don't know, a Yen Man, is traditionally a senior cabin crew member who essentially flies to Japan primarily in search of allowances - and generally lives on provisions of vegimite and crackers in order to save $$$).


These stories may well have been posted before, or may be a pile of BS, but needless to say "where there is smoke there is fire".


(A proviso is of course that presumably these tales follow all airlines not just the white rat)


Senario number 1:

When in search of a quick and easy toasted sandwich, provided only with rudimentary hotel equipment, how does one toast their sanger?

Solution: Ring the hotel's housekeeping and get a 2 irons to cook both sides of the sandwich.


Senario number 2:

Stocked up with leftover bacon and eggs from the last breaky service on the aircraft, how does one reheat their tasty precooked breaky?

Solution: Use the light bulb on the desk lamp and bedside table lamp..... timed well you can wake up to the smell of freshly heated bacon above your head!

Senario number 3:

When faced with the awkward situation of not wanting to touch your allowances, how does one go about getting the extra cash needed to survive a 4 day slip in japan?

Solution: Go to the blood bank, donate some blood in return for some yen, and at the same time have a free meal and watch TV! (Whilst losing a few unwanted pounds).

Senario number 4:

You've managed to keep your eggs intact from sydney (and brought your 3 minute noodles too), how do you get a fresh poached egg cooked?

Solution: Use the japanese water boiler in your room (they are a little more practical than a kettle for this sort of thing).

Senario number 5:

You dont feel like dirtying your iron or light bulb, but you don't want to touch more than the lose change in your allowance (usually around 400-500 yen = approx $6 or $7) and you want a substantial meal.

Solution: Go to the supermarket and try all the food and drink samples. Failing that hang around the late night convienience store waiting for all the days food to be 'reduced for quick sale'. As a last resort prowl up and down the hotel corridors looking for leftovers from other guests room service.



Well it says a lot about QF cabin crew.............(maybe "sad" :{ is the word) .:} :} :} :} :} :}


Anyway - who else has a few tales to share......

[mo_gravy]

hey lets talk about "carpet grazing"... a well-established tradition in the "Rat Files".

nothing wrong with roaming the hotel halls of shame looking for a burnt offering. its a personal crusade of mine to stop the habit of cooking 2min noodles in the room when it says in black and white in THE CONTRACT that allowances must be used for:

Piss, Leg-Opening, For The Purchase Of.

hey i think we all agree if the girls were saving their dough for the noble cause of lubing the drivers then 2003 would be a most glorious year. but i find myself buying the rounds more and more often. of course i do accept its an investment (wink, wink...) and it pays off so it doesnt bother me but many others are not so magnanimous.

thats the chiques. what the mincers do behind closed doors is up to them. im sure they eat plenty of noodles.

but lets be honest... wed all like to see something under the age of 50 rostered to the Land of the Rising Sun to partay with me and the fat balding skinny-armed loafer-wearing capt and the other lazy SO. am i right? of course i am.

i know the young bunnies are out there but these flouncing fossils keep doing these trips and ruining the fun for those of us born post-1975.

and they say the pilates dont spend money... but none of these cheese-paring curmugeons will spend a cent on a drink. these penny-pinching tightwads dont need EPs theyre tight enough to survive a decompression without a mask.

wake up and smell the

gravy™

[concordino]

mo_gravy

I nearly cried of laughter after reading your post, it is so funny yet it depicts the realities of the job.:ok:
I guess they roster them to NRT to make them diet a bit and thus lose some kilos…
But on a more serious note, are the cabin crew salaries so bad to the point that allowances are being saved up?
I was checking out D&G/questions forum. There is a topic about minimum wages for G/A pilots and makes me wonder which is worse being a G/A pilot or a FA for QF.:rolleyes:
No offence to anyone …

[Kaptin M]

It's not only QF crews that go to these extraordinary lengths to try to subsist on their salary and allowances, I've noticed it happens in most airlines - however not to the extent that the Japanese have refined it themselves!

Admittedly, the wages they pay the girls (and they are ALL females) who work for the company that I'm with are payed paupers' wages by ANY standard! ¥700 (about AUD9) per hour from "sign on" to "sign off" (whether that be back at home base on a day return, or at an overnight station), and an additional ¥4,000 (approx. AUD52) per night, regardless of the total length of the stopover. All in all, cr@p money - but there is NEVER a shortage of applicants for this "glamorous" job.

Back to the issue. It's well known amongst crews that if you want to find the CHEAPEST place to eat in a city, you can be assured it will be one of the frequent crew haunts. For our Japanese girls, it's the "conbeenie" (convenience store - Lawson, Seven-Eleven, etc) - unless the pilots have asked them if they want to join them.
It's seems to be Japanese culture that the highest salary earner foots the bulk of the bill, and therefore a dinner with the Captain becomes a "banquet" for these F/A's, who order food and drinks that they would NEVER be able to afford themselves - the "conbeenie" fare being the aforementioned 3 minute cup of noodles, accompanied by a packet of potato chips, and washed down with the complimentary green tea provided by the hotel.

Money is thus saved to splurge on make-up and clothes!!

Alternatively, a few of our girls have found that some pilots (and passengers) have the NEED for female companionship when away from home, and that that "need" can be accomodated by them, for a small reward (I've been told the going price is ¥10,000 (approx. AUD130) - which again provides money for that much needed make up (in Singapore Airlines it was towards a Rolex watch - the FIRST thing a new SQ F/A would purchase upon appointment).

[laydown]

Last time I was in the Land of the Rising Sun there were PLENTY of beautiful young European based JAL crews to "partay" with. Or has Gravy scared them all off?;)

[BLO MOI]

I hear ye Laydown,
"The Truck please driver, and don't spare the horses!!!!!!"

[*Lancer*]

Just jump on the bus... bound to find lots of people not saving their Yen at the Truck!

[Pinky the pilot]

Kaptin M; 10,000 yen y'say?????
Ah So desu!!!!!!:D :D :D :D


You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.

[Kaptin M]

In fact, blueloo, in most airlines where the seniority system is used, I think that you'll find this is pretty much the norm.
As a young(ish) F/O with SQ, I recall seeing the lady reputed to be the OLDEST F/A still flying (with an American carrier), on an Osaka layover - the rest of the crew weren't too far behind her in years, either.

Being infamously expensive, Japan attracts some of the highest allowances for crews. However, as mo_gravy (no doubt through serious research, in his pursuit of a doctorate in Flight Crew behavior) has revealed, it IS indeed possible to provide some form of nourishment for a limited time, by engaging various tactics - probably the "carpet grazing", which even saves on shoe leather, as one need not leave the hotel precincts and can don the hotel supplied yakata and slippers, further saving on shoe leather.

In reality, the convenience stores in Japan probably offer the cheapest food - with a reasonable selection of hot & cold, instant (soups, noodles, etc), fruit, salads, and drinks.
I imagine that it would be possible to have 3 "meals" for less than JPY1,000.

As airlines try to work out HOW to get their crews to work, it would seem that remuneration based on time away from home - as opposed to a "flat" salary is the path they have taken. In other words, you "get paid to go to work"...which is different to "getting paid to work"!!

My personal experience a couple of weeks ago, on QF56 (Christchurch-Brisbane), as a full-fare paying pax, had me wondering why QANTAS would roster 3 geriatric F/A's together, whose sole purpose seemed to be to AVOID work, and when they HAD to do it, tried to ignore the passengers.
The conclusion I reached was that THAT flight must have offered pretty good allowances, and/or time off before or after.

¥10.000 - yes Pinky, that is what I heard the "going" rate is!

[Gnadenburg]

Do these hooking F/As give industry discount?

ID90 would be very affordable.

[ftrplt]

Kap,

the 2 day weekend Tasmans are very popular with the mothers brigade, leave the kids at home with Dad.

Wasnt a weekend by any chance was it?

[Kaptin M]

It was a Thursday, ftrplt, and I'd guess that they were beyond the age of procreation (without trying to be harsh).
The aircraft was a 737.
The delivery of the F & B service was appalling, with the (lack of) service for which QF is occasionally criticised - the f/a's chatting between themselves as they dished the trays out, followed by a l-o-o-o-n-g period during which none of them were anywhere to be seen.
The chap next to me asked for a water with his lunch, but it never did arrive.
The bar was closed 1 HOUR prior to landing, for the reason "we are landing (20 minutes) early", despite the fact that we were 15 minutes late departing, and the Captain had given the arrival time in BNE during his p.a. as being "10 minutes behind schedule at 5:25pm", and the two rear toilets locked out (as they had been filled with the garbage bags) some 30 minutes before.

Sure the flight was almost to capacity, but if these old chooks are past the age where they can handle it, then it's time they moved on. They work in a public service industry, but weren't delivering.
I'm certain that if queried, they would assure us that their performance in an emergency situation would be "up to scatch", but as they didn't seem to be handling the everyday, run-of-the-mill f/a duties competently, I genuinely doubt it.

It's a shame that the crew on THIS flight, tar the reputation of all QANTAS F/A's, and that of QF, in the minds of those pax who were on board that day.

As an aside, I had to chuckle at two of the pax, who - upon boarding - discovered that they had been allocated the seats above which a life raft was stowed. "Who brought THAT on board?!!", they demanded of Gran 3, as they looked for somewhere to stow their carry-on bags of Duty free purchases.

I also notice that the taped safety demo states that "it is a requirement for you to have your seat belt fastened, when seated" - I think it is only a recommendation, but am ready to be corrected.

[ftrplt]

It is a shame Kap that what is definitely the minority tar the image of the majority. The problem in your situation would have probably been compounded by a slack CSM. Unfortunately with a seniority system, the slackers tend to gravitate together to the cushier patterns. Go to Europe in Winter and you will see a lot more of the cream!!

If the CSM is sharp then the old geriatrics find it a lot harder to goof off.

The seatbelt thing is a COMPANY requirement to keep the seat belt fastened, I dont think it specifically says COMPANY in the video however.

[Keg]

g'day Kap, I assume it was a similarlarly timed flight to when we met? That means that it was a day trip and as BNE crew are fairly senior anyway, this would have been an 'easy' high hour one day trip and ideal for getting home with the familiy that night.

Doesn't excuse it but may explain it. ;) :D

[SydGirl]

Kaptin M they weren't talking about their redundancy package were they.. per chance?

SG
:E

[Woomera]

Kaptin M

Last night (Domestic) it was a "requirement", not all that fussed about it, given that the sum of the IQs in the surrounding seats would have been stretching to get into double figures.

Minor altercation when I asked them to be quiet and watch the safety demo.

Major passenger inititated rearrangement around the cabin front to rear and side to side to whilst taxiing, reminiscent of Friday lunchtime crowd in Bourke St, handled firmly but politely, given that the ethnic background of the miscreants does not recognise women as real people. Memories of the Hadj days.

FA's? young and OK, ranged from standard slim blonde to largish country girl.

Overall pretty damned good.

[Kaptin M]

Yes, Keg - on both counts...the timing, and that it was a day return flight - that was ONE of their complaints, another being "too many passengers". Poor old things!

Apart from the above-mentioned, SydGirl, it was obviously a topic, or topics, that precluded them from giving the pax much attention.

Perhaps it SHOULD be a requirement in some cases, W - it's just that the recorded announcement sounds somewhat less than polite...from memory it goes something like, "passengers are reminded that it is a requirement that you MUST have your seat belt fastened when seated, even when the seat belt sign has been turned off["....I'm sure that one of our regular Rat Runners (no disrespect intended) can supply the correct version.....as opposed to "recommending" or "suggesting in the interests of your safety".

The age thing is NOT the issue. I have received extremely good service from QF F/A's who were nudging the middle age mark, and frankly that is what one would expect - by the time they have been in the service for a number of years, they should have learned the "tricks of the trade" that allow THEM to deliver an apparently friendly, efficient service that gives them time to themselves.
The impression that I got from that lot, were that they were there ONLY for the money, and that the pax were a real inconvenience, contact with whom should try to be avoided whenever possible!!

[ditzyboy]

I think it is totally the CSM's responsibility to force the slackos into working! I say slackos 'coz there are MANY very precious (and usually pretentious!) younger generation cabin crew members that have yet to chip a nail!

Doesn't help when the CSM/Purser is a slacko themselves.... I have had a Purser that refused to let me get ice for a lady to have with her Coke as she didn't ask when I first gave her the drink!?!

Re. the seat belts... Doesn't the video say something like "...It's a Qantas requirement that you keep it on at all other times..."?

[Mr Seatback 2]

Couldn't agree more Ditzy

It is the sad, recalcitrant and small number of crew who tarnish the rest of us who enjoy our jobs!

OH - AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON SLACK CREW! I have had Pursers tell me "we're not offering drinks today" on a 2 hour flight! Forget that - I'm doing a beverage service WITH or WITHOUT your approval! Sorry - my job description says SAFETY and SERVICE!

I think what would go a great way of sorting the diamonds from the dust would be to onload 'mystery shoppers', who at the end of the flight conduct a debrief with the crew, providing feedback on customer service, inflight service, etc. Once this was completed, they would speak to each FA individually (away from the group) and give the positives and negatives of the mystery shoppers experience.

Occasionally, just to make it interesting, onload the mystery shopper with an actor who could 'play up' by being rude and obnoxious to the crew to see how they handle the situation. Obviously, no violence or threats or anything, just your standard Sydney-Maroochydore passenger would do! And why make it just one or two - onload a few to get an overall idea of the different crew behaviours in different zones of the a/c.

The mystery shopper would need to be a CSM, or Trainer/equivalent from another airline (or the parent company) - someone with a true understanding and career experience of the duties and role of a FA inflight.
I think THIS measure would go to great lengths in getting 'counselling' for those crew who seem to view passengers as an 'inconvenience', and for those Pursers/CSMs who consider the inflight service to be 'something we HAVE to do...sigh'.

Now then...where did I put that beverage cart!?

[sirjfp]

Have also been hearing pretty frequent reports of indifferent service from Q.F , both domestcally and internationally. My brother , who has a Hong Kong based business that requires many international and aus domestic flights per year , has burnt his f/f points and flatly refuses to hand over any more of his hard earned to them.

Sooner or later this attitude will rise up and bite them on the bum.

I used to think these were just " one offs " , but have heard about this type of complaint so many times over the last 12 months you have to ask if this kind of indifference is now the norm rather than the exeption !

Methinks there is an underlying morale problem at q.f .
Mr. Dixon should be reminded that **** rolls downhill!

[MoFo]

Kaptin.
The Brisbane F/A base is known in the airline as Jurassic Park, for good reason.

[shocka]

I recall a situation where a crew member found he needed some company on the gold coast & dialled for it.

An hour later he answered a knock on the door only to find his daughter standing there !!

[amos2]

I'm surprised at the number of comments alluding that "the slack minority of QF F/As ruin it for the majority who do a good job".

Haven't come across any in the latter category for many a year!

[Ralph the Bong]

Jeez Amos, dont ya hate that? I used to have a Girlfriend who had a dazzling smile. "Honey", I said, "you have the whitest teeth that I've ever come accross".:E

[MIss Behaviour]

Mo_Gravy
What a great word! Heard it ages ago but couldn't remember exactly what it meant.

curmudgeon
n: An avaricious, grasping fellow; skulking thieves; a miser; a niggard; a churl.

curmudgeon
n: a crusty irascible cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas

Can't say any f/a's I know fit that description when they're in Darwin.

Mind you it's not just f/a's who are 'guilty' of being miserly. There were plenty of stories of UN people in Dili on a paltry USD5,000-6,000 per month, tax free of course who sat in their rooms eating tinned food. :yuk:

Not sure what supermarket they go to now after locals torched Hello Mister in a pre-Christmas backlash on foreign owned businesses. :{

[sirjfp]

I confess shocker , that person was actually me. But it wasn't my daughter who turned up at the door ..... it was my grand daughter !

[amos2]

Take your rubbish elsewhere Bong!

[Pinky the pilot]

Hmm... well..er.. getting back to the subject of F/A service or the lack thereof...... The last time I want QF was a few months ago, Melb to Ad and the F/A's were all 'mature' but I have naught but praise. Polite and efficient!
I was still wearing epaulettes and company ID having just ferried a company Pa 31 across and was flying back ID90. Don't suppose that made any difference though?

You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.

[Spotlight]

Pinky

I'll pay that one. Very amusing!

[Coffee thanks!]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, both physically and mentally, to the two F/A's injured in todays attempted hijack. A poignant reminder that F/A's are in the firing line to much more than just jibes on pprune.

I paxed around the world last month on four different carriers from four different countries. QF had its own style, but was the best overall experience. No I don't work for them.

regards,

[MIss Behaviour]

Another carpet grazing tale that springs to mind was used by some former colleagues whilst in Manila.

The company would pay for all meals while o/s so they would check into Traders Hotel on the executive floor as the room rate included complimentary snacks during happy hour.

Their real dinner would be canapes, samosas etc on the house then Joe Bloggs' receipt for 'dinner' would be the bar tab for all their drinks with Jack Smith's 'dinner' being the bar fine paid for the nightly female company. ;)

It seems that favours of a sexual nature are not paid directly to the he, she or shims, but to the bar for taking the 'hostess' away from waitressing duties. :rolleyes:

Must've nearly all ended in tears when the main offender's Ansell product came off during the proceedings then had to explain to his wife back in Oz the reason for his forthcoming 3 month conjugal abstinence while awaiting his second round of HIV tests to come back. :ouch:

Track direct Makati, thence planned root. :ooh:

[Pinky the pilot]

Thanks Spotlight for the post but part of it was really meant to be serious.:O
The part about the F/A's all being 'mature' and efficient, that is.:ok:

You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.

[SkySista]

I make it a point when I fly to mention good/bad service to either:

in the case of good, the crew themselves. Nothing makes your day like credit where it's due.

Or - bad - the company. No point giving the poor guy/gal a mouthfl in front of other pax/crew. And then only if it's exceptionally bad. They may just be having an off day.

Fortunately, every time I've flown the service has been relatively good. In some cases, outstanding. Have to say, QF is growing on me after years with AN.

Remember fondly the QF gal who confessed that the boozer is busiest on arvo flights back to Perth - says a lot about us, don't it???? :}

SS