Flatus Veteranus
21st May 2003, 03:36
From TEE EMM (forerunner of Air Clues) 1944
'Ast 'eard tale of Albert Ramsbotham
An' 'is tussle wi' Peter at Gate
When 'e found 'imself stranded in 'Eaven
'Cos 'e thought of 'is ripcord too late?
"Look 'ere, Sir," says Albert, determined,
As position got 'orribly clear,
"I've a missus an' kids down in Yorkshire -
'Ow'll they get on there if I'm 'ere ?"
Saint Peter scratched whiskers, then answered:
"Ye're lucky to be 'ere - don't carp!
'Twere better to stay while ye're welcome,
An' be issued wi' white robe an' 'arp."
Then Albert got 'ot under collar -
'E were thinkin' o' Mabel in plight,
An' green peas comin' on in allotment,
And the Bull of a Saturday night.
"We was up," 'e explained, "over Prangmere,
I were peaceful-like, thinking o' nowt,
When all at once flames shot from rudder,
An' pilot gave word to bale out.
The suddenness gave me a shock like -
It weren't quite like jumpin' off ,bus -
Ye see, what 'ad 'appened to others,
I thought, couldn't 'appen to us.
I were dazed still when 'atch were shoved open,
A voice said, "Unconscious, don't wait!"
An' it wasn't till ground rushed to meet me
That I thought of my ripcord - too late."
"After all yer instructions -" bawls Peter,
"The 'undreds o' times ye've been told.
No more Yorkshire puddin' for you, son -
Ye've 'ad it - get into th' Fold!"
Take warning from Albert Ramsbotham,
And take always a very poor view
Of the saying, "It may never happen" -
It may happen, presto! to you .
:D :D
'Ast 'eard tale of Albert Ramsbotham
An' 'is tussle wi' Peter at Gate
When 'e found 'imself stranded in 'Eaven
'Cos 'e thought of 'is ripcord too late?
"Look 'ere, Sir," says Albert, determined,
As position got 'orribly clear,
"I've a missus an' kids down in Yorkshire -
'Ow'll they get on there if I'm 'ere ?"
Saint Peter scratched whiskers, then answered:
"Ye're lucky to be 'ere - don't carp!
'Twere better to stay while ye're welcome,
An' be issued wi' white robe an' 'arp."
Then Albert got 'ot under collar -
'E were thinkin' o' Mabel in plight,
An' green peas comin' on in allotment,
And the Bull of a Saturday night.
"We was up," 'e explained, "over Prangmere,
I were peaceful-like, thinking o' nowt,
When all at once flames shot from rudder,
An' pilot gave word to bale out.
The suddenness gave me a shock like -
It weren't quite like jumpin' off ,bus -
Ye see, what 'ad 'appened to others,
I thought, couldn't 'appen to us.
I were dazed still when 'atch were shoved open,
A voice said, "Unconscious, don't wait!"
An' it wasn't till ground rushed to meet me
That I thought of my ripcord - too late."
"After all yer instructions -" bawls Peter,
"The 'undreds o' times ye've been told.
No more Yorkshire puddin' for you, son -
Ye've 'ad it - get into th' Fold!"
Take warning from Albert Ramsbotham,
And take always a very poor view
Of the saying, "It may never happen" -
It may happen, presto! to you .
:D :D