View Full Version : Line Dancing

11th May 2003, 20:11
Hello folks,

Is there anything more irritating or cringeworthy than line dancing? Middle aged British folks in cowboy boots and hats, poncing back and forth in a line whilst wishing they'd been born in the USA to the sound of "I'll make you scream like a goat" country music? Can anyone defend this popular pursuit?

Bring on the angry dancers, let's 'av ya!! :}


tony draper
11th May 2003, 20:29
Something that always baffles me is where do they recruit new Morris dancers from?.
One can undersand a sprog going up to his dad and saying
"Dad I wanna do Karate' "
"Dad I wanna be a footballer"
"dad I wanna be a Morris dancer , can I dad? pleeeze dad I wanna be a Morris dancer"

Err I don't think so. ;)
Mind you one of the sillest has to be them poor Greek Honour Guards who have to ponce about in ballet skirts, white tights with pompoms on their shoes, bet that is a popular duty.

11th May 2003, 22:02
Had a friend who hated morris dancers.

A group of us decided that as he was celebrating his 50th birthday the best pressie would be a morris dance.

After 6 weeks of practice we learned 2 dances. It was hard work and good exercise, but we still looked stupid, yes we even had the bells.

Nope I wouldn't do it again, but it isn't as bad as line dancing.

12th May 2003, 05:45
Mr Draper.

The only times i have ever seen these Greek Honour Guards is when they fall on there [email protected] on "Youv'e been framed". I guess that answers your question :)

12th May 2003, 05:56

Is there anything more irritating or cringeworthy than line dancing?



'Nuff said.

12th May 2003, 05:59
A few years back in Los Angeles on a nightstop the skipper was a Country and Western fan and dragged half a dozen of us to a massive western type line dancing hall. Absolutely enormous place complete with mechanical bucking bronco.

We felt a little conspicuous without lassos and the like but it was friendly enough place and it was fascinating to watch several hundred people moving in unison to the man massacring the violin. It was even funnier when a few of my colleagues genuinely tried to join in and got thrown of the dance floor for not being in step!

12th May 2003, 06:15
Council house tenants, the lot of them.

12th May 2003, 08:14
Those soldiers in Greece, they are, I am told, an elite guard unit, very difficult to get into due high standards of soldiering expected, not to mention fitness etc. Lot of competition, many called, few chosen and when not dressed like the chorus of Swan Lake they are crack soldiers!!!

Used to watch line dancing in the crew hotel in LAX, Wednesday nights, main advantage was it was mainly females and they would descend on the bar afterwards!!! Very friendly people, Line Dancers!:ok:

12th May 2003, 11:32
VFE, drapes and benhurr - no, no, no, no, nooooooooooo!!

BlueEagle - yes, yes, yes, yes!!!

The girls in the local line dance club, here in Florida ("The Rocking Rodeo") are absolutely gorgeous.

All 5'10" tall - hair to their belt, white silk blouse knotted at the front revealing varying amounts of flesh, neat denim shorts - or stunning blue cotton shirts with cute embroidered motifs, neatly tucked into white slacks - which themselves terminate by being tucked into long leather boots.

Black cowgirl hats with clean white ties around their neck.

High definition pictures of a slinky Shania Twain projected onto the video screen with foot stomping, toe tapping, music pulsing from the surround sound audio system.

All the girls having an absolute ball - all laughing and hugging. Friends with anyone who will join in with their pleasure.

VFE - you go to the wrong line dance club. BlueEagle got it most correct.

A beer in an ice frosted glass in The Rocking Rodeo whilst being enticed by the cowgirls............ooh, somebody pass me a towel, quick.

12th May 2003, 17:23
Line dancing is about as socially acceptable as, say, measuring the viscosity of slug vomit, granted. However, I think River Dance has it all over Line Dancing in the "crap ways to spend your spare time" stakes. Why don't they move their arms? Do they KNOW that they look like victims of semi-paralysis?

Cheerfully waiting for the throwing of fruit. :yuk:

12th May 2003, 17:26
If we gassed line dancers that would remove half of the subscribers to council house telly....sorry, Sky! Rupert Murdoch would go bust. :ok:

12th May 2003, 17:27
To quote Oscar Wilde - "Try anything once - except incest and folk-dancing". :eek:

Sid Departure
12th May 2003, 18:02
Line dancing is at it's worse when danced, shuffled and "eey haaa'd to that dreadful song "Achey Breaky Heart".
As for Morris dancing, wouldn't be interesting to see a production of Riverdance, where all the dancers were replaced with Morris dancers. A sort of a Morris Dance the Show!!

tony draper
12th May 2003, 18:15
Dancing of any kind has always struck me as one of the silliest of human pastimes, next to watching cricket, prolly the silliest.
What the **** is it supposed to be?, a simulated sex act, ? mock combat to music? a complete waste of energy if yer ask me.
Latent frotteurists all dancers are.

12th May 2003, 18:28
We used to have a weekly 'country dancing' class at primary school to all that cheesy touristy Scottish music. Being forced to skip up and down the gym hall holding hands with whoever was your partner (not always equal numbers of boys and girls!:eek: ), making Flying Scotsman train noises has left me not quite right ever since.:O

Shoot the lot of them, along with anyone commiting Karaoke, caravaners, New Age hippies, the Illinois Nazi Party, trainspotters and the [email protected] that always come knocking on my door trying to flog me stuff I don't need.:mad:

Unless of course they are a good looking bird, tolerating my drooling at their scantily clad bodies.:}

12th May 2003, 18:30
I watched the Towersey Morris Men on a hot day at a country fair, which is the perfect context. Between dances the beefy dancers retrieved concealed pints which they drained.
Then the bagman came round, with a pair of cow horns and his hat to take a collection. I cheerfully paid up, but when he thanked me and wished me fertility I felt like asking for my money back.

Fortunately it didn't work, or I would have sued.

12th May 2003, 19:06
Why do Morris Dancers wear bells?

So they can irritiate the blind as well.

Is Line dancing the same as the Lion dancing they do in Hong Kong? A former seaman in the RN told me that he was on a run ashore with bunch of his friends in HK, and they decided to steal the lion outift from a bunch of passing dancers.
Turns out the dance is traditionally carried out by the more advanced members of the King Fu clubs.
With most the crew in traction in sick bay, the captain and first mate had to sail the ship home.

12th May 2003, 19:19
Yeah Keygrip, sounds cool about the burdz in the States doing it but my gripe is with the Brits thinking they're in some way American and being thoroughly embarressing with it.

Tony.... my dear Tony. Dancing can be quite fun if you are pissed. We used to have a fantastic dance group called the IDJ Dancers bop to our version of 'Night In Tunisia' in the Tommy Chase band and boy those guys did moves that would make you blink twice.... no.... thrice! :ooh:

Line dancers make me wanna puke and the reasons why are obvious to me. It has nothing to do with my ex-girlfriend coming from a council estate and having awful parents who line danced either........ ;)


Celtic Emerald
13th May 2003, 01:11
I actually used to do line dancing when I was far from middleaged & I used to have a ball. The feeling of being on a dancefloor with loads of other people doing the same steps in unison was actually a great feeling, what's more it was good clean harmless fun, more than I can say for alot of eh pastimes that pass as fun today. Everybody to their own, it may not be your thing but what are they doing to harm you. Personally I think you've interpeted line dancing the wrong way, what's wrong with a bit of escapism or enactment for a few hours a night. I'm not a fan of jazz but I wouldn't go knocking jazz lovers the same way you do. Lighten up mate, life is too short & taken too seriously in the first place without you knocking maybe some people's harmless source of fun & relaxing!


13th May 2003, 03:02
Only indulging in a little light banter. It's all good clean fun. Chilled out to the max here thanks. ;)


15th May 2003, 00:59
Me, I have no idea what Morris Dancers are. Maybe I slept through their visit to Australia.

Riverdance? Call me what you will, I love it; all those finely toned long Irish legs under short skirts. When there's thirty of them in absolute unison it sends shivers down me mock-Irish spine, and the skill involved means I don't have to feel guilty. (Sorry, Father).

And while we're on the subject.....

Lighten up mate, life is too short & taken too seriously in the first place without you knocking maybe some people's harmless source of fun & relaxing!

I find looking at women's cleavages an absolutely endless harmless source of fun and relaxing, but hey, each to his (her) own, I suppose.

Oh Emerald, you just ask for it, don't you? :hmm:

Celtic Emerald
16th May 2003, 02:07
I usually bring my binoculars when I'm going out into the countryside. Now I know why my neighbour keeps cracking the wisecrack

"Are you bringing your knocks without the ers" :rolleyes:


16th May 2003, 18:36
Mr. Draper,

Try to think of dancing (most types, anyway, not silly types like line or morris dancing) as a kind of vertical foreplay.

16th May 2003, 18:50
Once arranged a barn-dance night for fund-raising for an American football team I run, initially as a bit of a laugh as someone suggested it one rather drunk evening. Thought no-one would buy tickets and that would be the end of that.

Strange thing was we sold all the tickets within a couple of weeks!

The night was a roaring success, mainly due to everyone being very very drunk and not able to comprehend what the 'caller' was saying. Many collisions occurred on the 'dance floor' and not many survived the night without finding themselves in a pile on the floor at somepoint that night.

Turned into a great laugh, but wouldn't consider doing it again, unless alcohol was involved.

Can't see any attraction to line dancing, apart from being in the bar with the nice young ladies afterwards :ok:

tony draper
16th May 2003, 19:12
Bunch of bloody wooses blokes are now, we usta do line fist fights.

16th May 2003, 19:17
it's easier to take clevage photos when all the girls are dancing in a line ;)

19th May 2003, 05:30
Recently in Norfolk. Noticed a lot of ads for Line Dancing in the press.

Need I say more

19th May 2003, 07:35
Line dancing is to dancing what bingo is to gambling.

After an excellent landing you can use the airplane again.

19th May 2003, 08:32
With the US export of "hip-hop" rap music and line dancing, I find it a little embarrassing to give the Islamic fundementalists crap about their behavior.

Then again, if line dancing gets the "chicas" out to the bars, who can fault it?

Rap? forget it, no matter what.

7th Jun 2003, 19:18
.. 'Stamp Out Line Dancing'.

...... unless performed by 5' 10", silken-/denim-shirted LOVELIES, preferrably IN the US and in an approved, line-dancing authorised (and sound=proofed) establishment, where closet line-dancers can enjoy a cold one while being brutally subjected to the torture of above visions who blast through any feeble defence against invitation to the dance and wear down your resistance (.. is FUTILE!) to the point you burn your card, buy a stetson ( that's a hat..), crawl over 2 miles of broken glass for a pair of boots and vaguely recall ( after therapy when you return from 3 months of total memory lapse) that, hey, that was a really good time!

.... but.. you'll never get me up there.......:hmm: