View Full Version : Paperless Cockpit- Risk Identified

10th May 2003, 01:45
Some captains appear to believe they are screwup-proof. Until now, when, not *if*, they would finally screw up in the full sight of the Almighty and their peers, their hat would abruptly slide down over their eyes. But they could always find some stray chart, SOP or whatever to fill that gap between hat band and deflated cranium suddenly emptied of self-esteem. Whatever shall they do in the paperless cockpit, go around out of uniform? Look what happened to those poor Southwest guys!

A joke: There was the usual queue of people waiting to get into Heaven, when a four-striper (not John Travolta) just pitched up and walked right past all the people waiting, straight through the pearly gates.

All the people waiting began complaining to Saint Peter, asking, `Did you see that? We've been waiting for half an eternity and this bloody airline captain just walks right in! What are you going to do about that?´

Saint Peter just shrugs and says, `That was God. He just likes to pretend that he´s an airline captain.´

Notso Fantastic
10th May 2003, 01:55
I take it you're a perfect co-pilot who never screws up? Beware- in aviation, pride comes before a fall.

10th May 2003, 04:41
Nah, I couldn't even make it as a co-pilot on the DC-3. I kept forgetting to empty the benjo until chided to do so.

I had to head across the pond to eke out a living as a sort of West African bush pilot until various twists of fate saw me end up in the left seat of a multi-crew aircraft, where I sit today. Go figure, huh? But, at the end of the day, we are all just drivers and not demi-gods, right?

I note with interest the verve and enthusiasm with which some of the pruners seem to want to leap upon the presumed mistakes of their professional peers, as if to suggest they will never be the victims of that process. As if!

I was once busy propping up a bar along with a couple of self-nominated experts who were slagging off a third over his ignorance of what made up a standard-rate turn. I pointed out the `no hangar flying rule´that we applied, but there were no engineers there to back me up so that they just ignored me.

After three or four minutes this began to bore me, so that I just looked deeply into my glass of amber nectar and muttered that everyone knew it was simply a matter of holding a 25° bank on the FD, after all.

Well! That certainly perked things up. Every attempt these two experts would make to put things right I would counter with some damn-fool argument or other that not even a student pilot would put forth.

I finally confessed that I was just teasing there, that I did actually hold all those instructor ratings that meant I, too, was supposed to be some sort of expert, but that I really resented having to listen to this sort of stuff in my time off.

Here, I get a kick out of a lot of the stuff on this forum, but there do seem to be a few who take up a lot of bandwidth stomping around making a lot of racket and also making rather attractive targets of themselves. I guess I just got a bit bored and ornery there. I go back in my box for a couple of months now, so enjoy....