View Full Version : How an airline SHOULD be run!!!

invalid entries
8th May 2003, 23:46
or: It's people like you what cause unrest

See this for a template to a sucessful business:

Pig's Arse Airlines (http://pigsarseairlines.tripod.com/index.htm)

Charlie Foxtrot India
9th May 2003, 00:52
Man: Morning sir, can I help you?

Mr Irrelevant: Er, yes, we've booked on your flight for America.

Man: Oh, we don't fly to America ... (vicar nudges him) Oh, the American flight... Er, on the plane ... oh yes, oh we do that, all right. Safe as houses, no need to panic.

Mrs Irrelevant: Is it really 37/6d?

Man: Thirty bob. I'm robbing myself.

Mr Irrelevant: Thirty bob!

Man: Twenty-five. Two quid the pair of yer. Er, that's without insurance.

Mr Irrelevant: Well, how much is it with insurance?

Man: Hundred and two quid. That's including the flight.

Mr Irrelevant: Do we really need insurance?

Man: No. (vicar nudges him) Yes, essential.

Mr Irrelevant: Well, we'll have it with insurance please.

Man: Right - do you want it with the body and one relative flown back, or you can have both bodies flown back and no relatives, or four relatives, no bodies, and the ashes sent by parcel post.

Mr Irrelevant: How long will it take?

Man: Er, let me put it this way - no idea.

Vicar: Six hours.

Mr Irrelevant: Six?

Man: Five, ten for the pair of you.

Mrs Irrelevant: Oh, is it a jet?

Man: Well, no ... It's not so much of a jet, it's more your, er, Triumph Herald engine with wings.

Mr Irrelevant: When are you taking off?.

Man: 3300 hours.

Mr Irrelevant: What?

Man: 2600 hours for the pair of you.

Mrs Irrelevant: What?

Man: Have the injections, you won't care.

Mr Irrelevant: What injections?

Man: Barley sugar injections. Calm you down. They're compulsory - Board of Trade. Promise. (he holds up his crossed fingers)

Mrs Irrelevant: Oh, I don't like the sound of injections.

Man: (making a ringing sound) Brrp, brrp. (picks up phone) Hello, yes right. (puts phone down) You've got to make your mind up straight away if you're coming or not.

Mr and Mrs Irrelevant: Yes.

Man: Right, you can't change your mind. I'll ring the departure lounge. (picks up phone) Hello? Two more on their way, Mrs Turpin.